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I WAS ALMOST MURDERED!

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    okay, I'm gonna start this video off by saying
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    every story that I'm about to tell is a 100% real
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    why does this stuff happened to me? I don't know
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    some crazy fat lady on Santa Monica Boulevard told me
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    it was because mercury was on retrograde, I don't know what that means
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    but I trust her because she is wearing a moo moo and that's my life motherfcking goal btch
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    god, If I could just wear a moo moo out in public and not have to deal
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    anyways, uh yes, this week I had had, I'm not kidding you, every fcking day, a terrifying experience in an uber
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    now for those of you who don't know what an uber is, an uber is like a taxi except anyone can drive one
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    and it's horrible, your car break down? don't have a license? don't have enough money for gas?
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    don't worry about it a serial killer will be picking you up in five minutes,
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    or if you order a uber SUV it'll be a serial killer/a guy who pins on the side.
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    so where do I start? Okay I'll start with the reason why I was ubering
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    I was too lazy to get gas, no, my car was having some issues and I was too lazy to get gas.
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    but you don't understand okay? the gas stations around my neighborhood are confusing and
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    it's hard to get in there and I'm not making this any easier. Okay I'm a little btch alright?
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    and sometimes I'm afraid that I'mma be popping gas and it's gonna explode,
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    cause I heard that if you have a staticy hair due and you touch a gas pump it might combust
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    this isn't about my issue, this is about my issues with the world so lets continue
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    so monday I decided to get un uber, I was like, you know what I'mma go to work in an uber
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    I'm just gonna do my emails on the backseat on my laptop, I'mma like have some me time
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    so I ordered an über and it says it'll be here in 5 minutes
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    I'm waiting waiting waiting, 5 minutes goes by, 7 minutes goes by, 8 minutes goes by
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    so I get a called from the guy. Hello. Hi who is this?
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    by the way, on the phone it told me that my uber guy's name was Randolph
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    Continue
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    this is uhm... Mike. Uhh your name on the app says Randolph?
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    oh yeah no yeah no it's uh Rudolph, Randolph whatever
Title:
I WAS ALMOST MURDERED!
Description:
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Video Language:
English
Duration:
07:33
Barbara Buratti edited English subtitles for I WAS ALMOST MURDERED!
Barbara Buratti edited English subtitles for I WAS ALMOST MURDERED!

English subtitles

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