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The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction

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    Hi. My name is Mark.
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    You know, there's a lot of One Direction fan fiction out there,
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    but it seems like all the stuff I've read is written by girls.
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    Which is great, you know, I'm not knocking girls.
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    They're...girls.
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    But, I just thought it was about time there was some 1D fan fic written by a dude.
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    Which... I'm one — dude.
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    So, that's what I did.
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    And then, I animated it.
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    Good morning. Y'all ready to order?
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    I'll have the French Toast, please.
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    I'll have the sausage biscuit, please.
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    I'll have the tacos, please.
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    Harry!
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    What? It's my favorite food!
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    Tacos are not for breakfast!
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    They are now. Introducing Tac-O's.
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    It's meat-, cheese- and lettuce-flavored O's
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    in a tortilla bowl.
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    That's disgusting.
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    It even makes the milk tastes like tacos.
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    That's even disgusting-er.
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    That's not even a word.
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    Hi guys.
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    [ALL] Hello, Zayn.
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    Whoa, new hairdo!
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    Yeah, what'ya think?
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    It's...uh...
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    It's...quite steep.
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    Bit like a...ski jump.
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    Which I guess is what you were going for?
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    Phone rings
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    1D! Come in, 1D!
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    Oh look! A call from Psymon.
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    It's an emergency, boys!
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    Report to 1D HQ ASAP.
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    No time for breakfast, lads.
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    The world needs our help!
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    One Direction, thank goodness you're here!
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    What seems to be the trouble, Psymon?
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    It doesn't look good, boys.
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    What doesn't look good? Oh, Zayn's new hairdo?
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    Niall! -laughs What?
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    I will mess you up!
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    Mess me up? Oh, like your hairdresser messed up your hair?
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    Oh, it is ON!
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    Oh! Ow! Ow! Stop it! Oh!
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    It's on like Donkey Kong. -What?
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    Boys! Boys! The world is in its hour of need.
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    We cannot afford to squabble over [ ].
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    Why, what's up, Psymon?
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    Yeah, what's up, besides Zayn's hair?
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    'cause that's really up, isn't it, hehe?
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    It's like woooosh!
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    Ow! Stop! Ow!
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    Reports are coming in all over town.
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    Pussycats are going missing by the thousands!
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    Oh, no! What a catastrophe!
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    Or should I say, CAT-astrophe?
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    Ooh! -No, you shouldn't. -[FALSETTO] Okay.
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    We just need to get out there and help people find their pussycats.
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    It may not be as simple as that.
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    We have reason to believe Lord Faptaguise is behind this.
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    [ALL] Lord Faptaguise?
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    But we defeated him in the Battle of Zindalor.
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    Well, he's back!
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    And we all know how much Lord Faptaguise hates pussycats.
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    So the pussycats didn't just go missing; they've been kidnapped!
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    Or, should I say, CAT-napped?
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    C-cat—catnipped... yeah?
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    Ooh! -No.
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    [FALSETTO] Sorry.
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    So, where is Lord Faptaguise?
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    His dreaded tank fortress, the Wrath-o-Sphere has been spotted
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    on the outskirts of town...
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    Mmm... skirts.
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    ...heading East.
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    Toward the Dimensional Gate.
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    Yes! We must act swiftly!
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    If the Wrath-o-Sphere escapes to another dimension
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    with the pussycats on board, we will never see them again.
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    So, what's the plan?
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    Liam, Niall and Zayn: you three must infiltrate the Wrath-o-Sphere
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    and find your way to the Control Room.
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    It no doubt will be heavily guarded, by guards.
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    Niall and Zayn, you must eliminate them,
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    allowing Liam to gain access to the Control Room.
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    Easy! -Piece of pudding! -What?
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    Liam, once inside the Control Room,
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    you must hack into the Security Terminal,
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    and open the prison cell doors.
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    Hey! I'm on it like Donkey Konit.
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    What? No, wait. What?
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    Just open the cell doors?
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    But who's going to round up all the pussycats
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    and get them out of there?
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    Yes, all the pussies. That's where you come in, Harry.
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    You're telling me.
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    You must go deep into the Marmitian Swamp,
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    and seek the help of an old knight named Paul.
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    He will teach you the ancient art of retrieving pussycats.
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    I don't need help. I can do it alone.
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    No you can't, Harry. That's why you and Louis
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    will seek out Sir Paul together.
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    Only with teamwork, can you save all the pussycats—
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    including your own!
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    Oh no, Molly! Did they get Molly?
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    I thought his name was Dusty?
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    Depends which website you read.
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    Molly? gasp NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—
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    ooooooooooooooooooooo.
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    Nice!
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    Thanks, but Faptaguise, he stole my pussycat!
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    Now, it's personal.
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    Or, should I say, pussy-nal?
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    Oof! [FALSETTO] My balls!
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    Phew, we made it inside the Wrath-o-Sphere!
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    Now to make our way to the control room.
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    This place is a maze. How are we going to find it?
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    Easy, just follow the pipes along the ceiling.
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    Duh, it's like you've never been inside a Wrath-o-Sphere before!
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    Nerds.
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    Right, the old knight lives in solitude deep within this swamp.
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    He lives alone? So that makes him... a stag-knight!
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    That's your worst one yet.
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    Oof! -Now come along!
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    [FALSETTO] We've been— [NORMAL VOICE] ahem, we've been walking for ages.
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    Are you sure we're going in the right direction?
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    Well, we're following the map!
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    I think we're going the wrong way.
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    What, do you think I can't read maps?
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    That, or you're holding it wrong.
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    What, with my hands? That's how most humans hold things.
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    But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that.
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    What, are you saying I'm not human?
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    I don't know, why don't you ask your four nipples what they think?
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    Maybe those will give you a clue.
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    That's it, I'm going this direction.
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    Harry, come back! We can't go in two directions. We have to go in one direction.
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    Not anymore, I can save the pussycats myself.
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    I don't need some old knight to help me, and I certainly don't need you!
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    Fine. (x12)
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    Fine. You tetra-titted tosser.
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    Whoa, those guards look dangerous.
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    I'm not so sure we can take 'em out.
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    Maybe you and Niall can distract them, you know, like, dress up as hot girls or something.
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    Well, I mean, at least that works in cartoons.
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    What do you think, Niall?
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    Already there.
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    Hey there big boys.
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    Whoa, check it out.
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    Hubba, hubba, hubba!
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    Nice!
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    I love dudes in skirts.
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    Huh! Like I need help getting pussycats out of the Wrath-o-Sphere.
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    Huh! I've been getting pussycats out of the Wrath-o-Sphere since I was a—
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    Whoa, baby.
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    Hey there big boy.
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    Hello.
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    I'm Harry!
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    April O'Kruschev. I'm a news reporter.
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    I am doing a story on the missing pussycats.
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    Oh, I'm- I'm gonna save them.
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    You are? Oh you must be very brave.
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    Mmhm, I'm brave.
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    Well it sounds like we could help each other out.
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    I would love to exchange fluids. Heeheehee!
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    I mean information.
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    Perhaps over dinner?
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    Okay.
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    How about some... tacos?
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    Okay.
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    Okay, this must be it. knocks door
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    door creaks open slowly
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    Who goes there?
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    It is I, Louis, of One Direction.
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    Greetings.
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    I am Sir Paul, of The Beatles.
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    gasp And Wings!
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    Ehhh... The Beatles.
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    Well, I am in need of your help, Sir Paul.
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    Pussycats all over the land have been captured,
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    and legend has it that you hold the key to retrieving them.
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    Aah, I know what you're looking for.
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    Now that, I haven't used in a long time. A long time.
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    What? What is it?
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    What you seek... is the pussymagnet.
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    Behold!
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    Nice!
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    So... how do you turn it on?
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    One does not simply turn on a pussymagnet.
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    It is activated by a series of tones. You know,
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    like the Key in the He-Man movie.
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    Allow me to demonstrate.
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    singing Well, she was just seventeen
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    You know what I mean. And the—
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    Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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    Paul:
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    What DO you mean?
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    speaking I don't know, John wrote that bit.
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    singing And the way she looked
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    Was way beyond compare
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    So how could I dance with another? Wooooooo!
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    meow
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    Whoa, that really works!
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    Hitting the high note at the end is the key.
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    Well, I'll try.
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    Though, I bet Harry could hit it...
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    Harry? Is he a friend of yours?
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    Yeah...
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    Or... we used to be.
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    We had a bit of a falling out.
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    Well, you know, you can't pull this off on your own.
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    It's like I've always said: I get by with a little help from my friends.
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    I thought that song was about drugs, though.
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    Shhhh!
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    Don't speak, Harry, don't speak.
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    But I'm crazy about you!
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    I know, Harry... but I must order now—
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    Three tacos, please.
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    Hard or soft shelled?
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    Oh... What do you think, Harry?
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    Hard. A good shell is hard to find, and a hard shell is good to find.
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    Oh, Harry. You always know what to say.
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    Hey, tacos are my favorite food. But you know, I've never been to a Taco Bell before.
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    You mean, this is your first time? -Mmhm.
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    Then... you really must try the Nacho BellGrande.
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    Well, one Nacho BellGrande please.
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    Hey! What do you call a BellGrande that isn't yours?
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    ...Not-chyo BellGrande!
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    Oof!
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    Can we get those tacos to go please? We have a date... at the Wrath-o-Sphere!
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    So... you two from around here?
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    Oh, no, I'm from Ireland. And Zayn is from a wee little town in England called... Dumbhairshire.
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    Niall, I will slap you silly!
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    Bring it!
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    Hey!
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    Uh oh.
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    You're not crossdressers. You're just dressed up like crossdressers.
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    Uh... Zayn? -Yeah, Niall? -RUN!
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    Seize them!
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    Zayn, here! Let's take this elevator!
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    AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhh—
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    OOF!
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    The garbage chute! Really wonderful idea!
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    sniff What an incredible smell you've discovered!
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    ...Don't be a c**t.
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    typing
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    This is a Unix system. I know this.
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    I should be able to override the security system to open up the prison doors
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    and let those pussycats loose.
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    Yes!
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    Oh, I'll open that door like Donkey Kong 64. click
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    Louis, Harry: The prison doors are open. It's up to you now to save the pussycats.
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    And make it—NOT SO FAST.
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    You, take pretty boy here down to the Torturitorium for a nice acid bath.
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    I'm sure Lord Faptaguise would enjoy seeing you burn alive to death.
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    Take him away!
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    And you, close the prison doors!
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    Dude, this is a Unix system. I don't know this.
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    Well, if it isn't Liam! -It is. -Of One Direction!
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    ...It is Liam of One Direction.
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    Well, not for long!
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    Oh, for long. And longer! You'll never dip me in a pit of acid, Faptaguise!
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    I have powerful friends!
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    Ha, you mean like this one?
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    Harry!
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    Liam!
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    Well, if it isn't Harry!
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    [Harry and Liam] It is.
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    Well done, May.
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    May? I thought your name was June!
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    April. -Whatever! -Yes, it's true. My name is May.
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    And I am Lord Faptaguise's henchwoman sent to capture you.
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    You liar!
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    No, I really do work for him.
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    No, I don't mean you're lying right now.
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    I just mean, you know... generally.
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    Oh... okay.
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    Okay.
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    Okay, tie him up and hang him from the ceiling as well.
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    He and his friend can burn in the pit of acid together!
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    Oh, but frisk him first. Make sure he doesn't—Well, actually, let me do it!
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    snickers creepily
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    Ohhh, Faptaguise. I just now got that.
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    Any weapons on him? -No, just this taco.
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    Dispose of this! -Yes, my lord!
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    But I bought that for him!
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    Shut up, May; no one likes you.
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    Oh... I am now beginning to question my allegiance.
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    I AM a villain, but Harry is so sweet and Faptaguise is a total jerkface.
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    I'm so confused!
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    NOOOOooooo...
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    You hear that? Sounds like Liam and Harry
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    are in trouble!
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    sliding noise You hear that?
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    Ooh, yummy! I haven't eaten all day!
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    guard coughing and sniffling You hear that?
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    guard blowing nose
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    guard clearing throat
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    flap
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    BA-THUD
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    squish
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    But I'm not eating that. -Yeah, you hear that.
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    Lower them in! Now you will meet your doom!
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    And once the Wrath-o-Sphere passes through the Dimensional Gate,
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    Earth will never see its precious little pussycats again!
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    glass breaking I don't think so!
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    Louis!
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    Harry!
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    Louis!
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    Liam!
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    Louis!
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    Who are you?
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    May.
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    May!
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    Louis!
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    Har—Hey, you already got one!
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    Hmph.
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    sigh Harry!
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    And as for me, I got—a Pussymagnet!
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    [Liam and Harry] Yes!
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    [Faptaguise and Guard] No!
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    Maybe! I am questioning my allegiance; I am so confused!
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    Here goes!
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    ahem
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    singing Well, she was just seventeen
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    You know what I mean
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    And the way she looked was way beyond compare
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    So how could I dance with another?
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    Woo! W-Woo?! speaking I can't hit that high note!
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    Woooo?
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    Seize him!
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    Woo! Wooo-GUHHH!
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    NOOOoooooo!
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    Man, they really need our help up there.
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    But the only way out is up.
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    How do we get up there?
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    Well, there's this old skateboard here.
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    And I could pick up some speed going down this hill of rubbish.
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    If only we had some sort of ramp...
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    ding
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    What?
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    Ready?
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    Yeah.
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    One... two... three!
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    woosh
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    boink
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    plop Whoa! -What the?
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    Harry! Catch!
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    gulp
  • 15:06 - 15:07
    Popeye-esque music plays
  • 15:10 - 15:11
    punch AHHHHH!
  • 15:11 - 15:13
    Thanks, Harry! -No sweat.
  • 15:13 - 15:15
    Now, how do you work this Pussymagnet?
  • 15:15 - 15:17
    It's supposed to be activated by a series of tones.
  • 15:17 - 15:19
    Hitting the high note at the end is the key.
  • 15:19 - 15:22
    But if anyone can do it, Harry, you can!
  • 15:22 - 15:23
    Awwww, Louis.
  • 15:23 - 15:24
    I mean it.
  • 15:24 - 15:27
    And I mean it, when I say...
  • 15:27 - 15:32
    singing Can we fall, one more time?
  • 15:32 - 15:37
    Stop the tape and rewind
  • 15:37 - 15:44
    Oh, and if you walk away I know I'll fade -Harry, I think it's working! Keep going!
  • 15:44 - 15:49
    'Cause there is nobody else
  • 15:49 - 15:54
    It's gotta be YOU! You! ahem Y-y-you!
  • 15:54 - 15:56
    Oh no, Harry, you almost had it!
  • 15:56 - 15:58
    I can't hit that high note!
  • 15:58 - 16:01
    Haha! You have failed! The pussycats are mine!
  • 16:02 - 16:04
    Louis! Hit me in the balls!
  • 16:04 - 16:05
    What?
  • 16:05 - 16:06
    Hit me in the balls!
  • 16:06 - 16:07
    No, Harry, I—
  • 16:07 - 16:10
    I can't be a pussy magnet without you!
  • 16:10 - 16:11
    Hit me in the balls!
  • 16:11 - 16:14
    Harry, I only hit you in the balls when you deserve it.
  • 16:14 - 16:17
    You know, like when you make an awful pun or something.
  • 16:17 - 16:22
    Hey! What do you call a Spanish toilet that weighs 2000 pounds?
  • 16:24 - 16:25
    ...El-Ton-John!
  • 16:26 - 16:32
    smack YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
  • 16:32 - 16:34
    Harry, it's working! -ONLY YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
  • 16:34 - 16:38
    confused cat noises
  • 16:38 - 16:44
    YOUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
  • 16:44 - 16:45
    Harry, you did it!
  • 16:45 - 16:47
    We did it!
  • 16:47 - 16:50
    Niall, get Liam down, and let's get out of here!
  • 16:50 - 16:51
    gun cocks I don't think so!
  • 16:51 - 16:52
    gasp
  • 16:52 - 16:53
    whirrrrrrrr
  • 16:53 - 16:54
    whap
  • 16:54 - 16:54
    thud
  • 16:55 - 16:55
    April!
  • 16:55 - 16:56
    May.
  • 16:56 - 16:57
    May!
  • 16:57 - 16:58
    You did that for me?
  • 16:58 - 17:00
    Yes, I had to.
  • 17:00 - 17:03
    Once you go Harry, you don't go...
  • 17:03 - 17:07
    Y-you, you don't—you don't go...
  • 17:08 - 17:10
    ...Well, you work on that, bye.
  • 17:10 - 17:10
    Bye.
  • 17:10 - 17:12
    By George, we did it, lads!
  • 17:12 - 17:14
    And Harry, you really hit that high note.
  • 17:14 - 17:15
    Didn't he, Molly?
  • 17:15 - 17:16
    Dusty.
  • 17:16 - 17:19
    And I couldn't have gotten that high without you.
  • 17:19 - 17:21
    If there's one thing I've learned, it's that
  • 17:21 - 17:24
    I get high with a little help from my friends.
  • 17:25 - 17:26
    [Liam and Niall] Awwww...
  • 17:27 - 17:29
    I thought that song was about drugs, though.
  • 17:29 - 17:31
    Shhhhhhh—achoo!
  • 17:31 - 17:32
    Are you coming down with something?
  • 17:32 - 17:35
    sniff Yeah, I think it was that taco.
  • 17:35 - 17:37
    Oh, yeah! Someone's snot rag was all over that taco.
  • 17:37 - 17:38
    Plus, it was on a pile of rubbish.
  • 17:38 - 17:40
    There's no telling what you'll come down with!
  • 17:40 - 17:42
    More like... one infection!
  • 17:42 - 17:43
    [ALL] laughing
  • 17:43 - 17:44
    Ugh... thud
  • 18:09 - 18:10
    Hello?
Title:
The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Team:
Volunteer
Duration:
18:12

English subtitles

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