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Yu-gi-oh: The Abridged Series - BBT Abridged Movie

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    Jack.
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    YUSEI!
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    There's something you should know.
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    WHAAAAAT IS IT, YUSEI?
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    Card games on motorcycles.
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    WHAT?
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    I said, card games on motorcycles.
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    I BEG YOUR PARDON?
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    I said, card games on motorcycles!!
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    WHAT THE HELL IS A MOTORCYCLE?
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    You're kidding, right?
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    HEY, CROW! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT A MOTORCYCLE IS?
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    Can't say that I do, Jack.
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    YEAH, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
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    But we ride them all the time. It's our trademark.
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    WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?
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    So that we can play card games on them.
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    THAT SOUNDS STUPID.
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    Jack, you're scaring me.
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    COME ON, CROW, LET'S GO PLAY A CARD GAME, WHILE STANDING COMPLETELY STILL...
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    ON.
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    THE.
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    GROUND.
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    Noooooooooooooooooooooo.
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    GAHUH!
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    Oh, thank God!
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    Yeah!
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    Ah!
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    I'm Batman!
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    Woah!
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    Y'all gon' make me get my game on!
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    Up in here! Up in here!
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    Y'all gon' make me throw a face-down!
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    Up in here! Up in here!
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    Well it's a good thing I play a lot of Assassin's Creed! Huh?
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    Okay, pal, you obviously don't know who I am.
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    The name's Jaden Yuki!
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    And I'm absolutely flawless!
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    Oh, how 'bout a little help, Neos?
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    It's a good thing Venice is apparently empty,
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    or that might have been kind of dangerous.
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    Pwotagonist!
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    No, it is Jaden.
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    I am here for the one who destwoyed the future.
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    Look there must be some kind of mistake.
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    I'm Jaden Yuki.
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    Yes, that is wight.
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    But I'm harmless! I couldn't destroy anything!
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    Cowwection!
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    I think you will find you destwoyed Yu-Gi-Oh!'s cwedability.
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    And now I am going to destwoy you with my Mawefic monsters!
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    (Mandark laugh) Ha haha! Ha haha haha!
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    [sigh] It's times like this that I like to just stand here and enjoy the peaceful serenity of a beautiful spring morni-
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    YUUUUUUUUSEIIIIIIIIIII!!
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    What?
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    HI!
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    Hello, Jack.
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    Hey Yusei, can you settle a bet?
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    What bet?
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    Is it gay to like the movie Top Gun?
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    IT'S TOTALLY NOT!
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    Shut-up Jack. Let Yusei decide.
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    OKAY.
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    Well-
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    BET IT'S NOT GAY.
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    - Well, obviously it's not.
    - SEE?
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    How could a movie where the male protagonists call each other cute nicknames,
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    and play volleyball,
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    and ride their phallic vehicles at extremely high speeds,
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    be anything but straight?
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    I dunno. Still seems kind of gay to me.
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    NOW THAT THAT'S SETTLED,
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    LET'S GO RIDE OUR MOTORCYCLES AND PLAY SOME HALF-NAKED VOLLEYBALL.
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    You can be my wingman anytime, Jack.
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    NO, YUSEI, YOU CAN BE MINE.
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    DODODUDODO
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    HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE!
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    YEAH! GONNA TAKE YOU RIGHT IN...!
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    OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO STRAIGHT, YOU GUYS!
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    Pwotagonist!
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    Wait! Who's that?
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    I DUNNO! BUT HIS HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL!
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    OOOOH!
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    Jack, look out!
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    CROW, LOOK OUT!
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    Wario, look out!
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    I'm-a gonna win!
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    I have you now, Pwotagonist!
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    (Mandark laugh) Ha haha! Ha haha haha!
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    I don't know why I did that. Seems kind of dangerous, actually.
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    YUSEI! SHOW HIM YOUR JUNK!
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    What?
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    WARRIOR! SHOW HIM YOUR JUNK WARRIOR!
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    I've got a better idea.
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    Come on out, Stardust Dragon!
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    OKAY, NOW WHIP OUT YOUR JUNK AND WAVE IT AT HIM!
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    What?
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    WARRIOR!!
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    And now, Pwotagonist,
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    watch as I turn your favowite monster into a cwappy Phwee-Dee effect!
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    (Mandark laugh) Ha haha! Ha haha haha!
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    We at Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged would like to apologize for the lack of 3D content in this movie.
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    However, we would like to think this is totally justified
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    since 3D is bullsh*t and adds absolutely nothing to the cinema experience.
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    So please, enjoy your 2D movie, because it's cheaper and much less obnoxious.
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    (Mandark laugh) Ha haha! Ha haha haha!
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    I totally won that duel.
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    YUSEI! THAT GUY STOLE YOUR STARDUST DRAGON CARD! WHAT A DICK!
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    I KNOW I DID IT IN SEASON ONE, BUT...UH...I...UH...HE'S A DICK!
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    Why did he even take your card in the first place?
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    Probably to humiliate me in front of my girlfriend.
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    Oh don't be silly, Yusei! You know I'd never be embarrassed-
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    For the last time! I'm dating a motorcycle!
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    But why date a motorcycle when you can have me?
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    Tell her, Jack.
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    GIRLS ARE SMELLY.
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    He's right, they are.
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    Well I think motorcycles are smelly!
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    Get out.
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    Bu-
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    Get.
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    Out.
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    Lion-O! Check out what we found on the Internet.
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    Snarf! Snarf!
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    "And then Jack turned to Yusei and said 'Come over here and kick my engines into overdrive.'"
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    Here Snarf! The other page Lion-O! Snarf! Snarf!
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    Hey, isn't that Pegasus the creator of Duel Monsters?
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    Yeah, and next to him is Yugi Moto, the King of Card Games!
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    What the hell is wrong with his hair?
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    YUGI MOTO? HE WAS THE GREATEST DUELIST WHO EVER LIVED!
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    It says here that he died a virgin
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    and his last words were "Oh God, I've wasted my life".
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    THE GREATEST DUELIST WHO EVER LIVED.
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    I LOVE HIM.
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    It also says that dragons appeared and destroyed most of Europe ten years ago...What?
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    Wait. Look! It's him!
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    YOU FOUND WALDO?
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    It's the guy who stole my card!
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    WALDO STOLE YOUR CARD?!
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    Jack.
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    YUSEI!
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    No.
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    'KAY!
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    There's only one explanation for this.
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    He must have traveled through time to steal Yusei's card
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    so he could go back to the past and wreak havoc on the world.
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    WOW, CROW!
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    HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT?
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    It's all right here in his Wikipedia article.
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    Well, if it's on the Internet, it must be true.
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    Look! Outside!
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    YAY! IT'S SNOWING!
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    NO SCHOOL FOR US TODAY!
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    I don't think that's snow, Jack.
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    The world seems to be disintegrating around us.
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    I'M GOING TO BUILD A SNOWMAN!
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    Hey! I have a tramp stamp just like that.
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    Strange...I can feel the Crimson Dragon calling to me.
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    Atreyuuuuu!
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    What is it, Crimson Dragon?
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    You must follow me into the past.
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    Wait, since when could you travel through time?
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    Since like, forever. Kind of a big deal.
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    In that case, can you take me back in time to see my parents?
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    Nooooo. That would be a lame use of my powers.
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    Remember, once you hit eighty-eight miles per hour-
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    I'm going to see some serious sh*t?
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    Nooooo. You'll be violating the speed limit.
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    So do try to drive slower than that.
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    I must drive to the past to save the future and my friends.
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    BYE, YUSEI!
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    DON'T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW! IT'S PEEEEEEEEEEE!
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    (Mandark laugh) Ha haha! Ha haha haha!
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    Any last words before I destwoy you and take your wawest monster, Mr. Pwotagonist?
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    I keep telling you, my name is Jaden!
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    Mawefic Stardust Dwagon, show him the twue power of Pawadox!
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    Okay!
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    That tears it!
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    Venice
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    SUUUUCKS!
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    Next year I'm vacationing in Germany!
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    Nothing bad ever happens there!
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    Stardust, here is your chance for an all-out attack.
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    Mother.
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    Atreyuuuuu!
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    Paradox.
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    Pwotagonist?
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    I came-
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    What?
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    -to the past.
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    Oh.
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    But I also had an orgasm.
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    Ewww!
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    JADEN: Ha! Nice!
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    But how? How did you follow me back in time?
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    I don't know.
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    Dang, son, that is one awesome motorbike you're-
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    You're not riding it.
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    Worth a shot.
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    Now I'm going to leave this timeline... for no weason!
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    (Mandark laugh) Ha haha! Ha haha haha!
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    I totally won that duel.
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    We weren't even dueling.
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    Duh! Because I won!
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    YUSEI: My God. The city's been absolutely devastated.
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    JADEN: Yeah! And he took my Elemental Hero Neos trading card.
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    This guy has got to pay! For the people of Venice! And my friends.
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    And my favorite trading card.
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    Who the hell are you and what's wrong with your hair?
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    My name's Jaden Yuki, and I'm absolutely flawless!
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    (George Michael : Absolutely flawless)
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    Stop being happy.
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    Ain't nobody in the world as fly as me!
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    I'm serious. Stop it.
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    Bitches just line up to get a glimpse of my sweet moves.
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    I'm going to tear the happy right out of your soul.
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    Come on, homie! Don't be a playa hater!
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    I'm not a player hater. I just hate you.
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    So what's your name?
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    Yusei Fudo.
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    I come from a post apocalyptic world where people struggle to survive.
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    I grew up on the streets an orphan.
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    Alone, if it weren't for my friends.
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    I have nothing except my bike and my deck.
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    Sounds pretty tight, dawg.
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    Me? I come from a kick-ass school that teaches how to play card games.
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    We sleep on warm, comfortable beds and get served food whenever we want.
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    Sigh. It's a good life.
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    Well, just look at all the f**ks I give.
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    So, you're from the future?
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    Yes. You probably have a lot of questions for me but I can't tell you anything.
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    If I were to tell you about the future it would be...dangerous.
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    Dangerous? Why?
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    Life as we know it would cease to exist.
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    We'd be cast into a world where time and space have no meaning.
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    In short, I can't give you any spoilers.
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    I have a question!
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    I told you, I can't tell you anything.
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    This isn't a spoiler.
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    Okay.
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    Can I ride your bike?
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    I already told you, no.
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    Oh come on! It'll be fun!
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    I'll let you ride my bike, if you can tell me one thing.
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    Sure. Ask away.
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    Why are we in Venice?
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    ...F*ck it! You win.
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    Always do.
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    Jaden! This man called your mother fat.
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    I farted on him. He doesn't know it yet.
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    Hello! I am extremely Asian!
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    Yusei
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    What?
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    I see dead people.
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    I'm going to begin shunning you for the rest of the movie.
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    Now make yourself useful and open the Internet.
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    I think you'll find that everything on the Internet is completely-
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    Oh my God!
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    Is that woman doing what I think she's doing?
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    I forgot I bookmarked "2 Dark Magician Girls 1 Pot of Greed".
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    I'll just go to www.plotconvenience.com and-
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    Oh my God! It says our shows never existed! But that would mean-
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    We have to get out of here. If only we had a motorbike-
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    You're not riding my damn bike.
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    Ah! What's going on? Are we being bombed?
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    Is America invading us again? I knew it was only a matter of time!
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    Calm down, Grandpa.
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    It's just the fireworks.
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    Yugi! Fetch me my gun!
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    Welcome everyone, to the grand unveiling of a bunch of lame new trading cards.
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    Here to introduce our host, Piiiirate Hitler!
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    I shall send ze Jews straight to Davy Jones' locker! Heil Blackbeard!
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    I love Pirate Hitler. He always makes me laugh.
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    And now, without further ado, Ladies and gentlemen, Maximillion Peeeeegasus!
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    Welcome, all you foolish nerds...!
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    To the gayest spectacle in the world...!
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    I'm making a cameo in this movie...!
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    I'm much more fabulous in 3D!
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    Oh hey, Grandpa, it's that guy who kidnapped your soul and then tried to kill me. But now he's our friend.
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    Well well well.
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    If it isn't my old friend, Pwotagonists.
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    Hm. I wonder what time it is.
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    Huh?
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    Oh! The Americans are invading us with dragons! Just like back in 1945.
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    We have to get to safety. Grandpa, follow me!
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    Whee!
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    Wait, Grandpa! Where are you going?
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    Death to America!
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    Wait! Come back! You can buy my song on CD!
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    Oh that building doesn't look to safe- Oh nooooo!
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    Oh, looks like I'm face-down.
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    Just a typical Friday night for Maximillion Pegasus.
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    I'm dead.
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    Argh.
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    Huh? What the hell happened?
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    Grandpa? Grandpa?
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    No!
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    It finally happened. He finally went to that great big basement in the sky.
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    It's so ironic. He always loved falling buildings, but only when they were falling on other people.
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    Grandpa!
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    Can I have my Oscar now?
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    (Mandark laugh) Ha haha! Ha haha haha!
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    Once again, Pwotagonist, you see there is nothing you possess that I cannot take-
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    Hey f**k you man! I'm trying to win an Oscar here.
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    Atreyuuuuu!
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    What the...
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    I am here to comfort you in your griiiiief.
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    Well at least I retained my dignity. Woah!
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    Woah! I thought you said you weren't going to let me ride it.
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    Everybody gets one.
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    God! My head hasn't hurt this bad since I watched the Naruto Abridged Movie.
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    Hey man. You okay?
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    Yeah. And what's wrong with your hair?
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    Who are you people?
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    We're from the future.
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    I'm Yusei Fudo. I'm the serious one with a voice that makes the fangirls swoon.
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    And I'm Jaden Yuki! The cute, hyperactive one that people want to choke in his sleep.
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    I'm Yugi Muto. And I was playing card games before it was cool.
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    Wait a minute. If you guys are from the future then tell me, will I ever get laid?
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    Well actually, now that you mention it-
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    Jaden, no! We can't tell him anything.
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    If we do, the fabric of space and time could-
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    Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
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    Look, are you guys going to give me spoilers or not?
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    No!
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    Oh come on! At least tell me if I beat Jaden in the final episode of GX.
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    Well, duh.
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    Woah-woah-woah-woah-woah! What?
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    It's not a spoiler if it's obvious.
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    Check it out, dawgs, my Neos card came back!
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    It must be because we came back in time.
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    That is not how time travel works.
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    Well how else do you explain it?
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    Obviously this movie had its head up its own anus.
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    Well that answers pretty much every question I had.
  • 17:59 - 18:03
    We've come back to the past to save the world from the evil known as Paradox.
  • 18:03 - 18:04
    What does he want?
  • 18:04 - 18:05
    We don't know,
  • 18:05 - 18:10
    but he seems to be trying to turn our rarest cards into darker more corrupted monsters.
  • 18:10 - 18:13
    Yeah! And for some reason he hates Venice.
  • 18:13 - 18:15
    That bastard! I can't forgive him.
  • 18:15 - 18:18
    Not after he sent my grandpa to the Shadow Realm.
  • 18:18 - 18:19
    The what realm?
  • 18:19 - 18:20
    You know. The Shadow Realm.
  • 18:20 - 18:24
    The big purpley cloudy place that you go to when something really bad happens to you.
  • 18:24 - 18:26
    I think you're talking about Hell.
  • 18:26 - 18:27
    No, it's the Shadow Realm.
  • 18:27 - 18:31
    You know whenever people fall from a really tall building...or...they get stabbed in the chest.
  • 18:31 - 18:33
    They go straight to the Shadow Realm.
  • 18:33 - 18:35
    What? You guys don't have the Shadow Realm in the future?
  • 18:35 - 18:37
    I don't think that's a real thing.
  • 18:37 - 18:40
    So wait. Is my Grandpa... really dead?
  • 18:40 - 18:41
    'Fraid so, Bro-seph.
  • 18:41 - 18:43
    I thought this was supposed to be a kids' movie!
  • 18:43 - 18:45
    Yugi. We can't defeat Paradox alone.
  • 18:45 - 18:50
    Well, I mean I probably can, but Jaden definitely can't.
  • 18:50 - 18:51
    That's cold, dawg!
  • 18:51 - 18:55
    Yugi Muto. Will you do us the honor of joining us in our quest?
  • 18:55 - 18:56
    You bet I'm in.
  • 18:56 - 18:59
    Nobody f*cks with my favorite trading card game and gets away with it.
  • 18:59 - 19:02
    Then our threesome is complete.
  • 19:02 - 19:03
    Aww, yeah!
  • 19:03 - 19:05
    Looks like we chilling with the King of Games, byatches!
  • 19:05 - 19:07
    This s**t be balling.
  • 19:07 - 19:08
    What?
  • 19:08 - 19:10
    He said he's happy to have you on board.
  • 19:10 - 19:14
    Oh. It looks like the Crimson Dragon has taken us back to before Pegasus was killed.
  • 19:14 - 19:16
    Now all we need to do is create a distraction.
  • 19:16 - 19:19
    Greeting, fools, it is I! Marik Ishtar!
  • 19:19 - 19:21
    And I am here to enslave all of you with my-
  • 19:21 - 19:22
    Ah!
  • 19:22 - 19:23
    Nice shot, Jaden.
  • 19:23 - 19:25
    Yeah. Way to endanger innocent lives.
  • 19:25 - 19:27
    Don't thank me. Thank Yubel!
  • 19:27 - 19:29
    Who's Yubel?
  • 19:29 - 19:30
    The demon who lives inside my head.
  • 19:31 - 19:32
    Wonderful.
  • 19:32 - 19:36
    (Mandark laugh) Ha haha! Ha haha haha!
  • 19:36 - 19:39
    We meet again, Pwotagonists.
  • 19:39 - 19:42
    Alright Paradox it's time you showed us who you really are.
  • 19:42 - 19:44
    Take off that damn mask!
  • 19:46 - 19:48
    Oh my God, it's him!
  • 19:48 - 19:49
    I can't beleive it!
  • 19:49 - 19:51
    Damn! I totally didn't see that coming!
  • 19:51 - 19:54
    ...Okay, so does anybody actually know this guy?
  • 19:54 - 19:54
    Nope.
  • 19:54 - 19:55
    Never met him.
  • 19:55 - 19:57
    Of course you don't know who I am.
  • 19:57 - 19:58
    I'm fwom the future.
  • 19:58 - 20:00
    So why were you wearing a mask?
  • 20:00 - 20:01
    What?
  • 20:01 - 20:01
    You had a mask on.
  • 20:01 - 20:03
    No I did not.
  • 20:03 - 20:04
    Yes you did.
  • 20:04 - 20:05
    Did not.
  • 20:05 - 20:06
    You completely, totally did!
  • 20:06 - 20:08
    Look it makes my chawacter design wook intewesting.
  • 20:08 - 20:09
    What do you want fwom me?
  • 20:09 - 20:12
    For the love of God does anyone know what time it is?
  • 20:12 - 20:13
    I know exactly what time it is.
  • 20:13 - 20:19
    It is time to dododo. Dododododo. Dododo. Dododododuel.
  • 20:19 - 20:21
    Let's do this guys! For our friends!
  • 20:21 - 20:22
    And Venice!
  • 20:22 - 20:23
    Yes! And for Venice!
  • 20:23 - 20:25
    And my Grandpa.
  • 20:25 - 20:26
    Yes! And for your dead Grandpa!
  • 20:26 - 20:28
    But mostly for our friends!
  • 20:29 - 20:32
    Ah! Desu desu bitches!
  • 20:32 - 20:36
    Alright, you time traveling screwhead, listen up!
  • 20:36 - 20:38
    This is my signer mark!
  • 20:38 - 20:39
    Hey Yugi.
  • 20:41 - 20:43
    Pharaoh! That's dirty!
  • 20:43 - 20:47
    Super special awesome ultra special super sexy transformation sequence!
  • 20:47 - 20:50
    In 3D!
  • 20:51 - 20:52
    We're back, baby!
  • 20:52 - 20:54
    Duel!
  • 20:54 - 20:55
    Good luck everyone.
  • 20:55 - 20:59
    I will be up here if you need an Asian guy. I'm Asian.
  • 20:59 - 21:01
    Very well, Yu-Gi-Oh Pwotagonists!
  • 21:01 - 21:05
    Let's see how you like things, in the Mawific World.
  • 21:05 - 21:07
    Actually, this isn't so bad!
  • 21:07 - 21:09
    Yeah. It's actually kind of pretty here.
  • 21:09 - 21:11
    Makes a nice change from the Shadow Realm, that's for sure.
  • 21:11 - 21:13
    Stop that! It is suppose to be thweatening!
  • 21:13 - 21:15
    Look at all the pretty lights!
  • 21:15 - 21:17
    Stop being impwessed by the Mawific World!
  • 21:17 - 21:19
    Paradox! You've got some explaining to do!
  • 21:19 - 21:23
    Yeah! Like why the hell were you in Venice?
  • 21:23 - 21:24
    Look. This isn't important.
  • 21:24 - 21:25
    I disagree-
  • 21:25 - 21:25
    Shut up.
  • 21:25 - 21:28
    Paradox, why are you trying to destroy the world?
  • 21:28 - 21:30
    You stupid pwotagonist.
  • 21:30 - 21:34
    I am not twying to destwoy the world, I am twying to save it.
  • 21:34 - 21:36
    -Not if we can stop you. Wait what?
  • 21:36 - 21:40
    In the future, the world as we know it has been destroyed.
  • 21:40 - 21:45
    Humanity's ignorance has caused the planet to become... wavaged and wifeless.
  • 21:45 - 21:46
    Wavaged and wifeless?
  • 21:46 - 21:48
    But how? Was it Global Warming?
  • 21:48 - 21:50
    Nuclear war?
  • 21:50 - 21:52
    No, none of those things happened.
  • 21:52 - 21:55
    What destwoyed the world was...
  • 21:55 - 21:57
    Caaaarrrrd Gaaaames...
  • 21:57 - 21:58
    What?
  • 21:58 - 22:01
    That is wight, Caaaarrrrd Gaaaames...
  • 22:01 - 22:02
    You're serious?
  • 22:02 - 22:05
    Yes, vewwwwwwy
  • 22:05 - 22:06
    How?
  • 22:06 - 22:07
    What?
  • 22:07 - 22:09
    How did card games destroy the world?
  • 22:09 - 22:11
    Well, I was not actually there.
  • 22:11 - 22:13
    But I heard that somebody pwayed a card game.
  • 22:13 - 22:17
    And then boom! End of the world. It totally happened.
  • 22:17 - 22:20
    Just like I said. Just card game--
  • 22:20 - 22:22
    Boom! Evewyone dead.
  • 22:22 - 22:26
    Okay. But how does stealing cards and killing people make everything better?
  • 22:26 - 22:27
    Look, I planned this.
  • 22:27 - 22:28
    So explain it!
  • 22:28 - 22:30
    Yeah! Explain your great plan!
  • 22:30 - 22:34
    All I had to do... was invent time twavel.
  • 22:34 - 22:39
    Then go back in time. And kill Pegasus.
  • 22:39 - 22:42
    And then the future would be better. That's it.
  • 22:42 - 22:44
    You also killed Yugi's Grandpa.
  • 22:44 - 22:45
    Yeah, and Yugi's Grandpa.
  • 22:45 - 22:47
    I totally meant to do that too. My plan is great.
  • 22:47 - 22:50
    Also a lot of innocent people died.
  • 22:50 - 22:51
    Yes there was a little cowwateral damage.
  • 22:51 - 22:54
    Probably not important. My plan is great.
  • 22:54 - 23:00
    Then why are you riding around on a motorcycle wearing an evil mask stealing people's cards and laughing like a maniac?
  • 23:00 - 23:02
    Does that sound like a hero?
  • 23:02 - 23:04
    Well when you put it like that not weally. But uh...
  • 23:04 - 23:07
    Then what the hell man?! What the actual hell?!
  • 23:07 - 23:13
    Listen! Either I destwoy the card game or the world itself is destwoyed.
  • 23:13 - 23:15
    It is as simple as that.
  • 23:15 - 23:17
    Hm. The entire world
  • 23:17 - 23:19
    or card games.
  • 23:19 - 23:20
    Tough choice.
  • 23:20 - 23:21
    There is no choice.
  • 23:21 - 23:24
    Without card games, this world isn't worth living in.
  • 23:24 - 23:25
    You're right Yusei.
  • 23:25 - 23:27
    You know, you always were my favorite protagonist.
  • 23:27 - 23:29
    Right back at you, Yugi.
  • 23:29 - 23:32
    It feels so good to know you'll be playing with me.
  • 23:35 - 23:36
    No homo!
  • 23:36 - 23:39
    Uh. Yes! No homo indeed.
  • 23:39 - 23:44
    Pwotagonists! I challenge you to a card game!
  • 23:44 - 23:46
    You mean the thing that's going to destroy the world?
  • 23:46 - 23:48
    Yes! That.
  • 23:48 - 23:50
    Seems kind of hypocritical.
  • 23:50 - 23:54
    Yes and how is this even going to work? There's three of us against one of you.
  • 23:54 - 23:55
    It is simple.
  • 23:55 - 23:59
    First Yusei goes, then I go, then Jaden goes, then I go-
  • 23:59 - 23:59
    Wait.
  • 23:59 - 24:02
    -then Yugi goes and then I go. Sounds fair wight?
  • 24:02 - 24:03
    You've got to be kidding!
  • 24:03 - 24:08
    That means we each get one turn per round and you get like, uh a gajillion!
  • 24:08 - 24:09
    I'm glad you understand.
  • 24:09 - 24:11
    Oh come on. But nobody in their right mind would agree something like that-
  • 24:11 - 24:14
    You're on, Paradox! We're going to take you down!
  • 24:14 - 24:15
    Oh God no.
  • 24:15 - 24:16
    Jaden.
  • 24:16 - 24:16
    Wassup?
  • 24:16 - 24:20
    If we survive this, I'm going to go back in time
  • 24:20 - 24:23
    and I'm going to slap myself in the face for bringing you on this adventure.
  • 24:23 - 24:24
    Can I come?
  • 24:24 - 24:26
    You can ride with me anytime Yugi.
  • 24:29 - 24:30
    No homo!
  • 24:30 - 24:32
    Yes! I was just about to say... uh... no homo.
  • 24:32 - 24:36
    I summon the Mawefic Cyber End Dwagon!
  • 24:36 - 24:42
    Now Yusei. I should point out that this card game... is not going to take place on a motorcycle.
  • 24:42 - 24:48
    I hope you understand that. I don't want you like trying to ride your duel disk or something.
  • 24:48 - 24:50
    We're just going to stand with our feet planted firmly on the ground-
  • 24:50 - 24:52
    I know how to duel!
  • 24:52 - 24:52
    Well okay then.
  • 24:52 - 24:55
    I Synchro Summon Junk Gardna in Defense Mode.
  • 24:55 - 24:56
    Synchro what?
  • 24:56 - 24:57
    Synchro Summon.
  • 24:57 - 24:58
    What summon?
  • 24:58 - 24:59
    Synchro Summon.
  • 24:59 - 25:00
    What what?
  • 25:00 - 25:02
    Synchro Summon.
  • 25:02 - 25:03
    Oh! What's that?
  • 25:03 - 25:04
    It's where you play a monst-
  • 25:04 - 25:07
    Wait. I seem to have stopped caring.
  • 25:07 - 25:09
    That was a nice Synchwo Summon, Yusei.
  • 25:09 - 25:10
    Synchro what?
  • 25:10 - 25:12
    But I'm afwaid not nice enough.
  • 25:12 - 25:15
    Now I summon my Mawefic Wainbow Dwagon!
  • 25:15 - 25:19
    Hey! No fair Paradox! That's my best friend's card!
  • 25:19 - 25:20
    Seriously? You have friends?
  • 25:20 - 25:21
    Yes!
  • 25:21 - 25:23
    You mean ones that aren't invisible?
  • 25:23 - 25:25
    Oh. Right. Look who's talking.
  • 25:25 - 25:28
    You tell him, Jaden. I'm still very Asian by the way.
  • 25:28 - 25:29
    Freestyle time!
  • 25:29 - 25:31
    Oh please tell me he's not going to rap.
  • 25:31 - 25:33
    Paradox, man! I just wanna' let you know.
  • 25:33 - 25:36
    Ain't no way you're gonna take away our card game, Yu-Gi-Oh!
  • 25:36 - 25:38
    I'm gonna' use a spell card and bring out my man, Neos!
  • 25:38 - 25:41
    Looks like your Cyber End Dragon is about to be toast.
  • 25:41 - 25:43
    What's that? Come again? I got a second move.
  • 25:43 - 25:46
    Looks like Jaden f'ing Yuki's got a lot to proove!
  • 25:46 - 25:49
    Take down his Rainbow Dragon and before you start to moan.
  • 25:49 - 25:51
    I'm gonna' lay these cards down, right in the trap zone.
  • 25:51 - 25:54
    Good job, Jaden! Way to get your lame on!
  • 25:54 - 25:56
    Actually, it's "get your game on"-
  • 25:56 - 25:57
    I know what it is.
  • 25:57 - 26:01
    Mawefic Pawadox Dwagon! Come forth!
  • 26:01 - 26:02
    Holy Ra!
  • 26:02 - 26:07
    I've seen a lot of dragons in my time but that one takes the cake!
  • 26:07 - 26:08
    And he probably ate it too!
  • 26:08 - 26:11
    Shut up Jaden! You're not funny.
  • 26:11 - 26:16
    So stand back ya'll 'cause it's time for a real main character to take the field.
  • 26:16 - 26:18
    Oh pwease!
  • 26:18 - 26:20
    You may be the King of Games in your timeline
  • 26:20 - 26:24
    but where I come from Duel Monsters have evolve far beyond your understanding.
  • 26:24 - 26:26
    Compared to me you are just a learner.
  • 26:26 - 26:29
    That may be the case in your timeline, Paradox.
  • 26:29 - 26:33
    But then we're not in your timeline, are we?
  • 26:33 - 26:34
    Um-
  • 26:34 - 26:38
    And where I come from Duel Monsters is still a broken exploitable mess of a game.
  • 26:38 - 26:41
    And I'm about to exploit the Hell out of it.
  • 26:41 - 26:46
    I summon the Dark Magician and Dark Magician with boobies.
  • 26:46 - 26:49
    Hey, Dark Magician. How come we can talk in this movie?
  • 26:49 - 26:50
    A wizard did it.
  • 26:50 - 26:58
    Dark Magician and Dark Magician with big boobies, use Dark Magic Twin Burst to destroy Malefic Paradox Dragon!
  • 26:58 - 27:01
    Hah yeah! Pimp slap like a mofo!
  • 27:01 - 27:04
    I am so happy to be Asian today, you guys!
  • 27:04 - 27:07
    I believe the appropriate phrase is a-booyah.
  • 27:07 - 27:09
    Let's see you recover from that, Paradox!
  • 27:09 - 27:12
    I will do more than that, Pwotagonists!
  • 27:12 - 27:18
    Watch as I summon my Mawefic Twuth Dwagon!
  • 27:18 - 27:20
    Yahaha! Ahahahaha!
  • 27:20 - 27:22
    I've never felt so Asian!
  • 27:22 - 27:25
    Mr. Pegasus. We appear to be flying right into a storm.
  • 27:25 - 27:27
    Well why don't you just turn around then?
  • 27:27 - 27:29
    I'm afraid I never finished my helicopter pilot training.
  • 27:29 - 27:31
    I only know how to fly forwards.
  • 27:31 - 27:34
    Well then, at least have the decency to turn the music up.
  • 27:34 - 27:40
    Ah s**t dawg! I've seen a lot of dragons in my time, but that behemoth definitely takes the cake.
  • 27:40 - 27:42
    And probably ate it too.
  • 27:42 - 27:45
    A dragon. Eating a cake!
  • 27:45 - 27:47
    Yusei, you're so funny.
  • 27:47 - 27:50
    Oh come on! That's the same joke I used from before.
  • 27:50 - 27:51
    Yes, but Yusei told it better.
  • 27:51 - 27:55
    Oh, I wish my gweat-gweat gwandfather Dartz was here to see me do this.
  • 27:55 - 27:57
    He would be so pwoud of me.
  • 27:57 - 28:00
    Gentlemen. If we don't make it through this
  • 28:00 - 28:03
    I want you do know it's been an honor playing card games with you.
  • 28:03 - 28:04
    Even you Jaden.
  • 28:04 - 28:05
    Ballin'!
  • 28:05 - 28:07
    You can be my wingman anytime Yugi.
  • 28:07 - 28:10
    No Yusei, you can be mine.
  • 28:12 - 28:14
    No homo right?
  • 28:14 - 28:15
    All of the homo!
  • 28:15 - 28:21
    Mawefic Twuth Dwagon, lay waste to their monsters and change the future!
  • 28:22 - 28:26
    I am wictowious!
  • 28:27 - 28:33
    There's just no way that we can win. His cards are epic beasts.
  • 28:33 - 28:37
    He duels too well because he's from another time.
  • 28:37 - 28:38
    Listen, both of you!
  • 28:39 - 28:41
    He's gonna to rewrite history.
  • 28:41 - 28:44
    He's gonna to wipe out our card games.
  • 28:44 - 28:44
    Never!
  • 28:44 - 28:49
    Unless we break his massive monster into pieces.
  • 28:49 - 28:52
    Homies. We've been through so much stuff.
  • 28:52 - 28:54
    I had to hear Jaden rapping.
  • 28:54 - 28:55
    That was rough.
  • 28:55 - 29:00
    Now it's time to take this sucker dow-ow-own.
  • 29:00 - 29:04
    Come on, guys, now it's time to blow doors down.
  • 29:04 - 29:07
    I hear you, Jaden, now it's time to blow doors down.
  • 29:07 - 29:10
    So make your move cuz' I'm throwing a face-down.
  • 29:10 - 29:13
    Okay, just make sure you don't summon a gay clown.
  • 29:13 - 29:17
    Now we've got to take this sucker down.
  • 29:17 - 29:19
    My hairy balls will make sure he won't take us down.
  • 29:19 - 29:22
    Dodolalalalalalalala.
  • 29:22 - 29:25
    No this can't be happening, how do I get them down?
  • 29:25 - 29:27
    We're going to beat ya!
  • 29:27 - 29:28
    Oh Paradox!
  • 29:28 - 29:30
    No doubt about it!
  • 29:30 - 29:31
    Our card game rocks!
  • 29:31 - 29:34
    As far as villains go. In anime.
  • 29:34 - 29:36
    I hate to tell you.
  • 29:36 - 29:37
    You're just cliché.
  • 29:37 - 29:39
    That's right you messed with.
  • 29:39 - 29:40
    The wrong show.
  • 29:40 - 29:42
    We're not just anyone.
  • 29:42 - 29:43
    We're Yu-Gi-Oh!
  • 29:43 - 29:56
    We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh!
  • 29:56 - 29:57
    We're Yu-Gi-Oh!
  • 29:57 - 29:59
    No no no! No no no no no!
  • 29:59 - 30:02
    No no no! No no no no wooooah!
  • 30:04 - 30:07
    Huh. I think we may have just killed a man.
  • 30:07 - 30:09
    If anyone asks, Jaden did it.
  • 30:09 - 30:10
    Yeah! Wait, what?
  • 30:10 - 30:12
    Meanwhile, thousands of miles away...
  • 30:12 - 30:16
    Ooh! So many restraining orders just waiting to happen.
  • 30:16 - 30:19
    We defeated Paradox. But at what cost?
  • 30:19 - 30:21
    At least we still have card games.
  • 30:21 - 30:24
    Who knows whether we made the right choice.
  • 30:24 - 30:28
    However, the most important thing is that I totally won that duel.
  • 30:28 - 30:30
    What? Ya-Hey! No. I won the duel.
  • 30:30 - 30:32
    I think you'll find it was me.
  • 30:32 - 30:33
    Was not!
  • 30:33 - 30:34
    You're both wrong.
  • 30:34 - 30:35
    If I were wrong
  • 30:35 - 30:36
    I would be saying you won the duel
  • 30:36 - 30:37
    but I'm not because I did.
  • 30:37 - 30:40
    It doesn't matter who won.
  • 30:40 - 30:44
    The important thing is, we can keep on winning as friends.
  • 30:44 - 30:47
    That's right. Even though we may never see each other again,
  • 30:47 - 30:49
    we'll always be in each other's hearts.
  • 30:49 - 30:52
    And I totally won that duel.
  • 30:52 - 30:53
    We all won the duel.
  • 30:53 - 30:55
    Nope. Me. I did it.
  • 30:55 - 30:56
    Enough!
  • 30:56 - 31:00
    All that matters is we managed to get through all this without disrupting the space time continuum.
  • 31:00 - 31:05
    Yeah! Even though I nearly told Yugi that the Pharaoh dies at the end of his series.
  • 31:05 - 31:06
    What's that now?
  • 31:09 - 31:13
    Well. This is just fan-tucking-fastic.
  • 31:13 - 31:15
    Now we're stuck in subspace. Way to go Jaden.
  • 31:15 - 31:17
    It's not my fault!
  • 31:17 - 31:20
    I thought spoilers were okay. It's been like, ten years!
  • 31:20 - 31:22
    This really could not get much worse.
  • 31:22 - 31:26
    Hey guys! This subspace thing is pretty extreme huh!
  • 31:26 - 31:31
    Talk about pop-flyin'! Get set to get decked motherf**kers. Yeah!
  • 31:31 - 31:33
    What's wrong with his hair?
  • 35:22 - 35:28
    And that is the story of how Jaden, Yugi and Yusei saved the world.
  • 35:28 - 35:31
    So why wasn't I in the movie?
  • 35:31 - 35:32
    What movie?
  • 35:32 - 35:34
    The one you just described to me.
  • 35:34 - 35:35
    Oh. Right.
  • 35:35 - 35:41
    Um. You were not in the movie because you were never born.
  • 35:41 - 35:43
    Yeah. Because I'm a robot right?
  • 35:43 - 35:47
    No. As it turns out, you do have a father.
  • 35:47 - 35:49
    And it's me!
  • 35:49 - 35:50
    Yeah. You're full of crap.
  • 35:50 - 35:53
    I love you too, son.
Title:
Yu-gi-oh: The Abridged Series - BBT Abridged Movie
Video Language:
English
Duration:
35:53

English subtitles

Revisions

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