Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos
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Not Synced[Jeff Dunham] What I want you to do is I want you to look over there
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Not Syncedwhile I'm getting him out so you don't peek.
[Skeleton dummy] OK -
Not Synced[Dunham] Just look over there.
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Not Synced[Skeleton] Hey, wait a minute, when I'm not looking, are you going to kill me?
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Not Synced[canned laughter, also interspersing the rest of the show]
Now, that's actually a good way to do it, you know. -
Not SyncedKind of old school, but effective.
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Not SyncedIt's like, "Hey, look at that!" [throttled noise]
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Not Synced[Dunham] No, just look over there and don't look back until I say so.
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Not Synced[Skeleton] OK, whatever. This is kind of like Christmas, uh?
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Not Synced[Dunham] Yeah, just look over there
[Skeleton] OK -
Not Synced[Dunham] Don't peek.
[Skeleton] OK, right, I'm not going to peek, but it's still... now? -
Not Synced[Dunham] Nooo!
[Skeleton] OK! I didn't .... -
Not Synced[Skeleton] Aow!
[Semi-skeleton] Aow! -
Not Synced[Skeleton] Who the hell is that?
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Not Synced[Semi-skeleton] Hello, Father!
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Not Synced[Dunham] It's your son, Ahmed Junior!
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Not Synced[Skeleton] A.J.?
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Not Synced[Semi-skeleton] That's right.
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Not Synced[Skeleton] Wait, I thought you were dead!
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Not Synced[Semi-skeleton] Surprise!
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Not Synced[Dunham] This is great.
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Not Synced[Skeleton] Hey, what happened to your face?
Oh, yeah. My bad. -
Not Synced[Dunham] Achmed, he's your son! Look at him, what do you see?
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Not Synced[Skeleton] Well, he does have my eye [laughs].
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Not Synced[Semi-skeleton] Actually, I do, yes, I do.
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Not Synced[Skeleton] Why do you sound like Elton John?
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Not Synced[Dunham] You were separated after the accident: he was raised in England.
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Not Synced[Semi-skeleton] Did my mum miss me?
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Not Synced[Skeleton] Err, yeah, I don't know, what the hell mmmm
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Not Synced[Dunham] How do you not know?
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Not Synced[Skeleton] Oops...
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Not Synced[A.J.] What's wrong with your leg?
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Not Synced[Achmed] NOTHING! ...What's wrong with my leg?
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Not Synced[Achmed] Can you fix this?
[Jeff] I don't think so... -
Not Synced[Achmed] Damm it!
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Not Synced[A.J.] Don't look at me!
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Not Synced[Jeff] What if we get Marnel to help us? He works fine.
[Achmed] Marneeeeel, come and fix my leg! -
Not Synced[A.J.] He's kinda cute.
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Not Synced[Achmed] Okay, moving oooon!
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Not Synced[Jeff] Wait a moment, how do you not know who his mother is?
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Not Synced[Achmed] I had 46 wives, you idiot!
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Not Synced[Achmed] They all dressed the same
and the faces were covered. -
Not Synced[Jeff] So how can you tell them apart?
[Achmed] The numbers on theirs backs! -
Not Synced[Jeff] That's terrible.
[Achmed] I know. Mother's Day is a bitch. -
Not Synced[A.J.] That's not funny at all.
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Not Synced[Achmed] Atall? Who's Atall? Was she your mother? I don't remember a woman who was budgy eye like you.
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Not Synced[Jeff] Budgy eye?
[Achmed] Well, look at him! -
Not Synced[A.J.] Well, you are not exactly a ...
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Not Synced[Achmed] At least my face is...
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Not Synced[Jeff] Achmed, he is your son!
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Not Synced[Achmed] Well at least ... landlord.
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Not Synced[A.J.] You caused the accident.
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Not Synced[Achmed] Accident? It was a huge explosion with great fire and destruction.
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Not Synced[A.J.] You didn't mean for it to happen!
[Achmed] I did to! -
Not Synced[A.J.] You did not!
[Achmed] I did... oh shit! Marneeeeel! -
Not Synced[Achmed] Son of a bitch!
[A.J.] Are you talking to me now? -
Not Synced[Achmed] Fix it right or I'll kick your ass!
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Not Synced[Achmed] Marnel, come back!
My arm is stuck in my tummy, you asshole! -
Not Synced[A.J.] He can fix my pelvis anytime.
[Achmed] Shut uuuup! -
Not Synced[Jeff] So the explosion that you were talking about... how did that happen?
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Not Synced[Achmed] Very precise and careful planned.
[A.J.] Not exactly. -
Not Synced[Achmed] I said shut up!
[Jeff] What happened? -
Not Synced[Achmed] NOTHING!
[A.J.] He was putting gasoline in his scooter. -
Not Synced[Jeff] So why was there an explosion?
[Achmed] Shit happens. -
Not Synced[A.J.] He was using his cellphone.
[Jeff] Really? -
Not Synced[Achmed] What?
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Not Synced[Jeff] While putting gas in your scooter,
you know, that's dangerous. -
Not Synced[Achmed] Well it was your mother who called!
[A.J.] Really? -
Not Synced[Achmed] I don't know.
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Not Synced[Jeff] What was her name?
[Achmed] Forty-two. -
Not Synced[Jeff] And you guys haven't had any contact since?
[Achmed] Not much, he is a bad son. -
Not Synced[A.J] I am not!
[Achmed] Tell him what you sent me for my birthday! -
Not Synced[A.J.] It was a honest mistake.
[Jeff] What you sent him? -
Not Synced[Achmed] He sent me a bottle of skin lotion.
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Not Synced[A.J.] He made it worse.
[Jeff] What did you do? -
Not Synced[Achmed] I sent him back half a bottle, ja ja!
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Not Synced[Jeff] You know, maybe you should try to patch things up.
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Not Synced[Achmed] Looks like .... a fucking patch.
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Not Synced[A.J.] But I'm here for a reason!
[Achmed] What? skin grub soil? I'm a man. ? -
Not Synced[Achmed] Fuck, Marneeeeel!
Come and fix my fucking leg! -
Not Synced[Achmed] ... you asshole!
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Not Synced[Jeff] Actually he brought the tape...
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Not Synced[A.J.] He's kinky too
[Achmed] Shut uup! -
Not Synced[Jeff] So, Achmed, do you know why A.J. is here?
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Not Synced[Achmed] Well, wait a minute... This is some crap on child support, is it?
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Not Synced[Achmed] Fat bitch, whoever the one she was.
[Jeff] No, that's not. -
Not Synced[Achmed] This is that, because I've seen the crap that you're going through
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Not Syncedand I don't know how are you gonna afford this on a T-shirt!
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Not Synced[Jeff] Thank you.
[Achmed] Did I said that your tears just rolled? -
Not Synced[Jeff] Yes, thank you.
[Achmed] Okay, good luck with the Judge. -
Not Synced[Achmed]
[Jeff] Actually, the Jugde is a woman. -
Not Synced[A.J.] You're fucked.
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Not Synced[Achmed] Of course I'm getting hustle,
I'm a terrorist, you idiot! -
Not Synced[Achmed] You piss me off, I kill you!
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Not Synced[A.J.] What's wrong with your leg?
- Title:
- Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos
- Description:
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Achmed has a son! An extended clip of Jeff Dunham, Achmed, and Achmed Junior from Controlled Chaos, now available on DVD from Amazon.com. Silence... wait for it... I Keel You!
Buy the DVD on Amazon.com now!
http://amzn.to/tmK8yD - Video Language:
- English
- Team:
Captions Requested
- Duration:
- 08:20
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María Tatay Sanzsegundo edited English subtitles for Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos | |
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María Tatay Sanzsegundo edited English subtitles for Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos | |
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María Tatay Sanzsegundo edited English subtitles for Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos | |
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James edited English subtitles for Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos | |
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James edited English subtitles for Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos | |
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James edited English subtitles for Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos | |
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James edited English subtitles for Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos | |
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James edited English subtitles for Achmed the Dead Terrorist Has a Son - Jeff Dunham - Controlled Chaos |