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[music...]
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RACE: The Final Frontier
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no matter what channel you watch
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no matter what feed you aggregate
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it seems like everybody everywhere is talking about race right now
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and when everybody everywhere is talking about race
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that means sooner or later
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you're gonna have to tell somebody that they said something that sounded racist.
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So you need to be ready and have a plan in place
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for how to approach the inevitable "that sounded racist" conversation
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And I'm going to tell you how to do that.
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The most important thing that you've got to do
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is remember the difference between the What They Did conversation
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and the What They Are conversation.
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Those are two totally different conversations
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and you need to make sure that you pick the right one.
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The What-They-Did conversation focuses strictly on the person's words and actions
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and explaining why what they did and what they said was unacceptable.
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This is also known as the That Thing You Said Was Racist conversation
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and that's the conversation that you wanna have.
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The What They Are conversation on the other hand
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takes things one step further
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and uses what they did and what they said to draw conclusions about what kind of person they are.
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This is also known as the I Think You Are A Racist conversation.
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This is the conversation you don't wanna have.
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Because that conversation takes us away from the facts of what they did
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into speculation about what their motives and intentions
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and those are things you can only guess at
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you can't ever prove
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and that makes it way too easy for them to de-rail your whole argument.
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And that is the part that's crucial to understand.
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When you say "I think he's a racist"
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that's not a bad move because you might be wrong
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that's a bad move because you might be right
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because if that dude really is racist
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you wanna make sure you hold him accounable and don't let him off easy
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And even though intuitively it feels like the hardest way to hit him is just run up on him
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and say "I think your ass is racist",
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when you handle it that way, you're actually letting him off easy
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because you're setting up a conversation that's way too simple for him to derail and duck out of.
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Just think about how this plays out every time a politician or a celebrity gets caught out there
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It always starts out as a What They Did conversation
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but as soon as the celebrity and their defenders get on camera
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they start doing Judo flips and switching it into a What They Are conversation
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"I have known this person for years and I know for a fact that they are not a racist,
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and how dare you claim to know what's inside their soul just because they made one little joke
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about watermelon tap-dancing and going back to Africa!"
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And then you try to explain that we don't need to see inside their soul
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to know that they shouldn't have said all that about the watermelon
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and you try to focus on the facts of the situation
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but by then it's too late
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because the What They Are conversation is a rhetorical Bermuda Triangle
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where everything drowns in a sea of empty posturing
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until somebody just blames it all on hip-hop
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and we forget the whole thing ever happened.
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Don't let this happen to you.
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When somebody picks my pocket
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I'm not going to be chasing them down so I can figure out whether he feels like he's a thief
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deep down in his heart.
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I'm gonna be chasing him down so I can get my wallet back.
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I don't care what he is
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but I need to hold him accountable for what he did
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and that's how we need to approach these conversations about race.
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Treat them like they took your wallet
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and focus on the part that matters:
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holding each person accountable for the impact of their words and actions.
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I don't care what you are.
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I care about what you did.