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[music...]
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RACE: The Final Frontier
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no matter what channel you watch
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no matter what feed you aggregate
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it seems like everybody everywhere
is talking about race right now
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and when everybody everywhere
is talking about race
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that means sooner or later
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you're gonna have to tell somebody that they
said something that sounded racist.
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So you need to be ready
and have a plan in place
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for how to approach the inevitable
"that sounded racist" conversation
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And I'm going to tell
you how to do that.
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The most important thing
that you've got to do
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is remember the difference between
the What They Did conversation
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and the What They Are conversation.
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Those are two totally
different conversations
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and you need to make sure that
you pick the right one.
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The What-They-Did conversation focuses strictly
on the person's words and actions
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and explaining why what they did and
what they said was unacceptable.
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This is also known as the
That Thing You Said Was Racist conversation
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and that's the conversation
that you wanna have.
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The What They Are
conversation on the other hand
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takes things one step further
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and uses what they did and what they said to draw
conclusions about what kind of person they are.
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This is also known as the
I Think You Are A Racist conversation.
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This is the conversation
you don't wanna have.
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Because that conversation takes us away
from the facts of what they did
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into speculation about what
their motives and intentions
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and those are things you can only guess at
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you can't ever prove
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and that makes it way too easy for
them to de-rail your whole argument.
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And that is the part
that's crucial to understand.
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When you say
"I think he's a racist"
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that's not a bad move
because you might be wrong
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that's a bad move because
you might be right
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because if that dude really is racist
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you wanna make sure you hold him
accounable and don't let him off easy
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And even though intuitively it feels like the
hardest way to hit him is just run up on him
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and say "I think your ass is racist",
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when you handle it that way,
you're actually letting him off easy
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because you're setting up a conversation that's way
too simple for him to derail and duck out of.
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Just think about how this plays out every time a
politician or a celebrity gets caught out there
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It always starts out as a
What They Did conversation
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but as soon as the celebrity and
their defenders get on camera
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they start doing Judo flips and switching
it into a What They Are conversation
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"I have known this person for years and I know
for a fact that they are not a racist,
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and how dare you claim to know what's inside their
soul just because they made one little joke
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about watermelon tap-dancing
and going back to Africa!"
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And then you try to explain that we
don't need to see inside their soul
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to know that they shouldn't have said
all that about the watermelon
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and you try to focus on
the facts of the situation
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but by then it's too late
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because the What They Are conversation
is a rhetorical Bermuda Triangle
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where everything drowns
in a sea of empty posturing
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until somebody just
blames it all on hip-hop
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and we forget the
whole thing ever happened.
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Don't let this happen to you.
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When somebody picks my pocket
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I'm not going to be chasing them down so I can
figure out whether he feels like he's a thief
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deep down in his heart.
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I'm gonna be chasing him down
so I can get my wallet back.
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I don't care what he is
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but I need to hold him
accountable for what he did
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and that's how we need to approach
these conversations about race.
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Treat them like they took your wallet
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and focus on the part that matters:
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holding each person accountable for the
impact of their words and actions.
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I don't care what you are.
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I care about what you did.
