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QUIZ SHOW or... "No, no, I mean the actual words on the page, see...?" NonStampCollector
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OK Welcome back.
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Both our contestants are giving it a red hot go tonight as we test their knowledge of the infallible,
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inerrant and non-contradictory word of god.
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And a couple of quality contestants we have tonight: Craig and Ken
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Craig in the lead so far, but let's see what happens In this next round
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I'll be asking a question and giving both of you a chance to respond,
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to see if you come up with the same answer. Ready Ken?
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You bet
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And Craig?
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Let's go
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OK, so turning to Yahweh's anger, for question 1. For ten points,
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How long does Yahweh's anger last?
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Yes, Ken
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Forever
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OK, it's a forever from Ken, Craig what do you think?
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I'm gonna go with not forever.
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Well you're both correct. 10 Points each. Yahweh's anger lasts both Not forever: Micah 7:18/Forever: Jer 17:4
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forever and NOT forever. Well done! Not forever: Micah 7:18/Forever: Jer 17:4
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Next question: Does Yahweh tempt people?
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Yes, Craig.
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No. He would never do that.
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OK, Ken? Do you agree with Craig?
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Well, Yahweh tempted Abraham, so it definitely is something he'd do.
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Well Ken you're right about that, so 10 points for you, (Genesis 22:1)
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and 10 points for you also Craig, (Genesis 22:1)
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because God cannot be tempted with evil, nor tempteth he any man (James 1:13).
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Question 3:
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Can salvation be attained by works?
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Yes Craig,
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No. A man is not justified by the works of the law, (Gal 2:16)
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but by the faith of Jesus Christ (Gal 2:16)
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OK, and Ken?
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Well I'm afraid Craig's correct, and I'm going to differ with him on this one,
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and instead go with what Jesus said, namely if you want to enter into life, (Matt 19:17, Luke 10:26-8)
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keep the commandments (Matt 25:41-46 and 16:27) (Matt 19:17, Luke 10:26-8)
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Yes, but a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law (Romans 3:28)
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You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith alone (James 2:24 )
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Both correct once again, somehow or other,
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and now for our final question for this round...
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What are the consequences of seeing Yahweh's face?
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Yes, Ken.
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death!
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Hmmm - Ken saying death, do you agree, Craig?
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I'm saying the preservation of life. (Gen 32:30)
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But there shall no man see me and live (Ex 33:20)
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And that's correct!
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But hang on, Jacob saw god face to face (Gen 32:30)
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And Abraham (Gen 12:7)
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Yes, and so did Moses (Ex 33:11)
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But no man hath seen god at any time (John 1:18)
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Except the seventy elders of Israel (Ex 24:9-11)
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And all the others too, and of course none of them did
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because no man hath seen nor can see god (1 Tim 6:16)
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10 points for everyone there, including me, I think, on that one.
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OK, onto the next round of questions.
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and it's our first speed round for the evening.
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No need to buzz in, just call out your answer as soon as I finish asking each question.
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30 seconds on the clock....
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your time starts - - NOW
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Does Yahweh delight in burnt offerings?
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YES/NO (Jer 7:22, Ex 20:24)
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Correct. (Jer 7:22, Ex 20:24)
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Is God the author of evil?
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YES/NO (Is. 45:7, 1 John 4:8)
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Correct (Is. 45:7, 1 John 4:8)
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According to Genesis, were humans created BEFORE the animals?
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YES/NO (Gen 2:18-9; Gen 1:25-7)
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Correct. (Gen 2:18-9; Gen 1:25-7)
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On the road to Damascus, did Paul's traveling companions hear the voice that spoke to Paul?
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YES/NO (Acts 22:9 , Acts 9:7)
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Correct. (Acts 22:9 , Acts 9:7)
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Will the Earth last forever?
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YES/NO (2 Peter 3:10 Ecc 1:4)
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Correct (2 Peter 3:10 Ecc 1:4)
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Is Jesus the only man to have ascended into heaven?
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YES/NO (2 Kings 2:11, John 3:13)
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Correct. (2 Kings 2:11, John 3:13)
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In old testament law, were children to be punished for the sins of their fathers?
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YES/NO (Deut 24:16 , Deut 5:9)
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Correct! (Deut 24:16 , Deut 5:9)
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OK, that's the end of our speed round
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Ken you must be exhausted after that.
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Oh, no, no, no. Just like our heavenly father, I never tire, and I never rest. (Is. 40:28)
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Oh, in that case, would you like to rest a minute?
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OK, sure,
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just like our heavenly father, that's what I always do when I get tired. (Is. 1:14 and 43:24)
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OK, in that case let's take a short break and well be back right after this message from our sponsors:
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And the writings do not contradict each other!
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No, there are no contradictions.
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All of these authors over such a long period of time...
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No, there's no contradiction here.
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They merely supplement each other.
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...are all saying the same thing.
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Ha, ha! So fancy that!. (Jer 52:12-13, 2 Kings 25:8-9)
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And now onto the next round, which is all about numbers.
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Not the old testament book, no no,
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we're going to test your understanding of the actual
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numerical values of integers in the bible.
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First to buzz in, and here's Question 1:
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How many valiant men drew the sword for Israel, as counted by Joab?
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Ken?
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800,000? (2 Sam 24:9)
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Correct, (2 Sam 24:9)
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and 1.1 million would also have been correct there (1 Chron 21:5)
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Question 2: How many horseman did David take with him when...
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Ken?
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700? (2 Sam 8:4)
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700 is correct and so is 7,000, either way (1 Chron 18:4)
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a much of a muchness really, (1 Chron 18:4)
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question 3:
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How much did David pay for the threshing floor?
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Yes, Craig?
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I think, 500 shekels of gold?
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Oooh, no, sorry Craig, it was 600 shekels, (1 Chron 21:25)
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Ken what would you have said? (1 Chron 21:25)
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Hmmm, I was leaning towards just 50 shekels but that (-) seems...
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Well you would have been correct, (2 Sam 24:24)
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it was 50 shekels AND 600 shekels.
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Now, question 8:
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The chief of King David's captains killed 800 men in one encounter. (2 Sam 23:8)
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This figure, 800, is also equal to How many?
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Ken?
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700?
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Ooohhh, sorry Ken, The correct answer is 300. (1 Chron 11:11)
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You'll be kicking yourself for a week, won't you?
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I knew it!
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OK, next question.
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When is a thief, two thieves?
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Yes, Craig,
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Ooh, well there were two theives crucified with Jesus,...
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Yes, you're on the right track...
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Did... did they both revile Jesus or did only one of them?
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Well, both are correct depending on which gospel you're reading! (Luke 23:39-42, Mark 15:32, Matt 27:44)
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It's just like how many blind men Jesus healed near Jericho (Mark 10:46, Matthew 20:30).
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it was two AND it was one. (Mark 10:46, Matthew 20:30 and Luke 18:35).
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So let's move onto the final question in this round. It's multiple choice, so listen carefully.
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Think of a single historical event that featured two men standing, Matt 28:2, Mark 16:5, Luke 24:4, John 20:12
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that were actually two men sitting, which was in fact one man sitting, Matt 28:2, Mark 16:5, Luke 24:4, John 20:12
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and in actual fact was one angel descending from heaven and causing an earthquake. Matt 28:2, Mark 16:5, Luke 24:4, John 20:12
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Was this non-contradictory singular event witnessed by
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a) one woman, (John 20:1)
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b) two women, (Matthew 28:1)
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c) three women, (Mark 16:1) or
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d) an unknown number of women numbering at least five (Luke 24:10)?
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Ken?
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All of the above!
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CORRECT! (John 20:1; Matthew 28:1; Mark 16:1; Luke 24:10)
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Ha, ha! Congratulations Ken, (John 20:1; Matthew 28:1; Mark 16:1; Luke 24:10)
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an excellent answer given that all of the historically accurate
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accounts of the day of Jesus resurrection agree with each other perfectly,
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and would CERTAINLY stand up in court as being reliable testimony.
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It's time for our second speed round now,
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looking to see who'll be going home and who'll be advancing
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good luck both of you,
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In this round I'm going to name a crime, and you need to be the
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first to buzz in with the punishment as originally demanded by The LORD God, (Exodus 34:6)
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merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth. (Exodus 34:6)
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Ready, players? 60 seconds on the clock this time. Hands on buzzers....
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What was Yahweh's originally designated punishment for......
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Fortune telling?
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Ken?
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Death. (Lev 20:27)
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Correct. Hitting a parent?
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Ken?
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Death (Ex 21:15)
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Correct. Cursing a parent?
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Craig?
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Death (Lev 20:9)
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Yes. Not listening to a priest?
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Ken?
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Death. ( Deut 17:12)
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Correct. Following another religion?
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Craig?
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Death. (Ex 22:20)
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Yes. Adultery?
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Craig?
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Death (Lev 20:10)
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Correct. Not seeking the lord god of Israel?
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Ken?
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Death (2 Chron 15:12-13).
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Correct. Fornication?
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Ken?
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Prison?
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No, sorry the correct answer is Death (Lev 21:9)
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Dammit
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Prophesying falsely?
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Craig?
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Death (Zech 13:3)
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Correct, bonus points if you can tell us who has to kill the false prophet?
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His or her parents.
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Very good. Homosexuality?
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Craig?
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Death (Lev 20:13)
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Yes. Blasphemy?
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Ken?
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Death. (Lev 24:10-16)
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Correct. Working on the sabbath?
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Craig?
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Death (Ex 31:12-15)
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Yes. Having a few people in your town worship another god?
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Craig?
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Death
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More information...
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Death for the entire town
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.... a little more....
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and the livestock.... err..
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and put the entire town to the torch so that the town is a ruin forever
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Correct (Deut 13:13-16)
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and just in time too, very nearly running out of time (Deut 13:13-16)
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there with both of our contestants showing an admirable familiarity with scripture so far tonight,
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OK making a final check of our scores here now,....
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OK, but look, rather than trust logic or the immoral practice of basing decisions
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solely upon verifiable evidence,
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I'm just going to pray for a minute and ask the Lord who our winner is tonight...
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Yes, look - I'm getting a strong inner conviction and taking it on faith that...
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KEN is our winner!!
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which means that we'll say goodbye to Craig here.
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Any thoughts on that decision Craig?
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Oh, look, it's an excellent choice, Bill,
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I've always trusted faith over objective reasoning because
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without faith, logic is just a fallible human construct or something.
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Yes, but you don't leave empty handed.
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What earthly treasures have we got stored up for our runner-up, Frank?
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Well, for our runner up today it's a huge house upon the rock!
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Oh NO!!! I'm rich! Woe unto me? (Luke 6:24)
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Hey, come on, riches are a blessing! (Psalm 12:1-3)
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Either way, Craig, you be sure to sell that new possession of yours (Luke 18:22, 12:33 and 14:33).
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and give to the poor (Luke 18:22, 12:33 and 14:33).
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Or perhaps you could take the example of the early christian church,
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who got together as a community, (Acts 2:44-5, Acts 4:34-7)
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sold what they owned, (Acts 2:44-5, Acts 4:34-7)
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and shared the proceeds amongst themselves communally. (Acts 2:44-5, Acts 4:34-7)
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How do you feel about communism now, teabaggers?
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Oh - yes Craig?
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It's an immoral atheist plot invented by Barack Obama and Josef Stalin to take over our country?
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Correct. Ha, ha!
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Time for a quick break, and we'll be right back with Ken in our solo challenge round
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There's another supossed contradiction
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supossed contradictions in the bible
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supossed contradiction
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this is one of those alleged contradictions
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not a contradiction at all
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the harmony among the gospels
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so called factual discrepancy
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no contradiction
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supposed contradictions in the bible
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lends historical credibility to the accounts
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Now solo challenge round, there are 8 questions, and you have to get them ALL correct.
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Here we go, question 1.
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Did the temple curtain rip before or after Jesus died? (Mark 15:37-8, Luke 23:45-6)
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Ummm... yes. (Mark 15:37-8, Luke 23:45-6, Matt 27:50-51)
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Correct. (Mark 15:37-8, Luke 23:45-6, Matt 27:50-51)
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Who put the gorgeous purple robe on Jesus,
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Herod's soldiers or Pilate's soldiers?
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Yes, they did.(Luke 23:11, Matt 27:27-8, John 19:1-2)
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Correct.(Luke 23:11, Matt 27:27-8, John 19:1-2)
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Did Jesus curse the fig tree before
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or after driving the merchants from the temple?
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Ummm... before or after? (Matt 21:12, 17-19 , Mark 11:12-17)
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Correct, (Matt 21:12, 17-19 , Mark 11:12-17)
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either one will do, so good answer there.
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Should homosexuals be killed or exiled? (1 Kings 15:11-12, Lev 20:13)
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Definitely.
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Correct.
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Given that Quirinius became the governor of Syria nine years after King Herod's death,
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was Jesus born during the reign of Herod,
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or during the governorship of Quirinius?
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Uhmm... Uhmm... Both? (Luke 2:1, Matt 2:1, Wikipedia)
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Miraculously, yes. (Luke 2:1, Matt 2:1, Wikipedia)
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You're doing very well.
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When the women arrived at Jesus tomb, was the tomb opened or closed? (Matt 28:2 , Luke 24:2)
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Yes, it was.
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Correct.
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Did Judas die by hanging himself, or by falling over in a field and
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having his midsection burst open spilling his guts everywhere?
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Yes, that's right. (Acts 1:18 , Matt 27:5)
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Correct, and our final question (Acts 1:18 , Matt 27:5)
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Is God the author of confusion? (1 Cor 14:33)
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No!! (1 Cor 14:33)
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Correct! (1 Cor 14:33)
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The authors of confusion are the people who misrepresent
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the bible and try to make it appear as though parts of it contradict each other!!!
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I know, right?
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Don't those people have anything better to do?
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They must hate god so much!
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Oh, congratulations, Ken, well done,
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an excelent achievement,
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and now, your prize. Are you ready?
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You've won...
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a lifetime of believing a promise of something for which there's no evidence
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and that you won't actually get until after you're dead!
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In fact,... there's pretty much no good reason at all to expect it's even remotely real
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but please,
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just take our word for it and live the rest of your life imaging it and feeling happy
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and by the way,
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you don't actually deserve it anyways so make sure you feel a bit unworthy too.
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How about that?
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Isn't that the sort of thing that we all want?
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So congratulations once again, Ken.
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Thanks for watching everybody.
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And we'll see you again next time.
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Bye, bye.
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Video made by NonStampCollector Subtitled by HuanManwe