1 00:00:00,813 --> 00:00:03,670 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0484384/ 2 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:09,946 [ominous music in background, soundscape... sounds like a heartbeat] 3 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,313 I asked for directions, 4 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,783 and this guy gave me directions, 5 00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:50,968 and I noticed in his hand he had a knife, 6 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,175 and he had the knife out, 7 00:00:52,175 --> 00:00:54,188 and that that knife was about this long... 8 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,924 [another voice] He came up to me and he said 9 00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:59,260 "Let me see your license", 10 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:03,297 and then he spit at my shoe. 11 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,431 In Atlanta... 12 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,266 one inch from my shoe... 13 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:12,072 I mean, it felt like he was saying "motherfucker, make a move"... 14 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,308 I was the only white worker 15 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:18,646 got beat up and got it taken away... 16 00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:24,852 You look more white than we do... 17 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:29,236 I may look more white but no way do I cross that line... 18 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:33,260 ...the fear is still there because I know it can happen... 19 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,328 because it has happened, 20 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,662 not to me... 21 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,616 but to other people who look just like me... 22 00:01:38,476 --> 00:01:40,667 Another one went in the laundromat at another time, 23 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,269 came up to me with a $10 bill 24 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,804 and waved it in front of me, said 25 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,839 "change? change?" 26 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:49,243 and she was anunciating very carefully... 27 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,812 we always _ you baby, always, 28 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,547 every day. 29 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:57,051 We ride up here... it's all oh man where are we now?? 30 00:01:57,051 --> 00:02:01,139 oh god! I hate being out of the city! 31 00:02:01,139 --> 00:02:03,257 Because I know who's out here" 32 00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,859 You block your progress... 33 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,395 I block my own progress? 34 00:02:13,631 --> 00:02:14,568 You know, as I look around this room, 35 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:19,673 I realize, you know, the connection is really me, 36 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:23,043 because I actually know each one of you in a very special way, 37 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:26,380 some of you I just met actually. 38 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,682 Each of you were picked very particularly, 39 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,417 and it took time to do that. 40 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,486 Each of you were picked for your honesty, 41 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:36,957 and for your directness, 42 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,025 and for your sincerity, 43 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:40,194 and for the work that you do, too, on yourself. 44 00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:44,281 That's why I really wanted to have you on film. 45 00:02:44,281 --> 00:02:45,465 And your ethnicity? 46 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:48,068 I am American. 47 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:52,006 Generations back, we came from England and Denmark, 48 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:55,476 but mostly when they got into America here, 49 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:59,346 whatever happened, we got mixed up, 50 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,649 so I'm American. 51 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,751 A white American I guess. 52 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:08,221 My father is Mexican, my mother is Irish. 53 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:13,193 African, and, some ways back, Cherokee descent. 54 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:17,864 I'm a 3rd generation Japanese American man. 55 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:22,102 I'm 7th, at least 7th generation Euro-American. 56 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:26,874 Um, I have family is, on both sides, is Scot, 57 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:30,477 and on my father's side is also English and German. 58 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,981 I'm uh, I'm Mexican. 59 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,749 I'm Latino, I'm Mexican, 60 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,118 a Mexican-American, I'm Chicano. 61 00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:43,200 I am Chinese, and I'm Chinese-American. 62 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:47,427 I am an American also. 63 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,763 I am an all-American man, 64 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,534 and the reason I say that is that 65 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:58,005 I was born here, educated here, and that makes me American. 66 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:02,977 But I do always want to be identified as African-American or Black, 67 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:04,812 not just an American. 68 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,180 The reason why I'm here, 69 00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:07,514 and I'm glad to be here, 70 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,549 is because I have a lot of anger, 71 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,785 and this is a positive outlet for that anger. 72 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,654 I could do a lot of destructive things, 73 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:18,658 but that would be, that wouldn't be productive whatsoever. 74 00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:24,331 I'm here because, um, I'm a racist. 75 00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:31,605 And I've been working at it for, that being un-learning that, since '76. 76 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:35,576 And I've still got it, and there's a lot of pain around that. 77 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:40,113 And I'm nervous about being here, cause I don't know what's gonna happen. 78 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,249 I think one of the ways I've survived racism 79 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,984 is to be in complete control, 80 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,653 and I'm not in complete control here [laughs]. 81 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:48,455 So I'm a little worried about that. 82 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:53,193 And I'm just, y'know, trippin' on the, y'know, walkin' in here and seein' who was here. 83 00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:56,055 I didn't expect white men to be here. 84 00:04:56,363 --> 00:05:01,568 I'm a local boy, grown, raised right here in this small community, 85 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,305 and when the subject of racism was mentioned to me, 86 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,640 I found it extremely exciting 87 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,943 because I grew up in this area, 88 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,610 with friends of all races, 89 00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:14,681 and we would read in the news, 90 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:16,016 see on the television, 91 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,685 of racial struggles in other areas, 92 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:22,122 and could not comprehend how that could be. 93 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:25,392 Why they had to cause struggle and strife for each other. 94 00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,529 Why couldn't they be just like at home? 95 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:31,465 Happy and productive together. 96 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:36,403 Ad I don't think that anybody should be any less than another. 97 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:42,742 Uh, I grew up in this area right alongside the Native Americans, 98 00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:45,629 and some of them to this day are my dearest friends, 99 00:05:45,629 --> 00:05:49,683 and ... I like their cultures, yes. 100 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:53,620 And I even seek after artifacts from their history... 101 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:58,125 but there's no struggle or strife, 102 00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,694 we don't cause it. 103 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:09,128 In Chinese, y'know, the word "American" really means "white" to us; 104 00:06:09,128 --> 00:06:14,274 and uh, that's why today I actually will not use the word American either, 105 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:18,912 because I do believe that it really does not incorporate all of us. 106 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:23,850 That there really still is not that political, social, and economic equality. 107 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:28,756 And when that day comes, I'll be the first to stand up and say "I'm an American, 108 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,891 and stand with everyone". 109 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:35,062 Uh, but until I feel that, I think that I'll always feel that I have to say Chinese, 110 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,603 so that people know who I am. 111 00:06:38,338 --> 00:06:39,700 3 years ago I went to Japan. 112 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,403 I said, I gotta go find my roots, 113 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,639 and find out who I really am. 114 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:49,376 Applied for the passport, filling out the things, 115 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:54,267 and ... nationality, it says "American". 116 00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:57,817 Said to my wife "I can't put down 'American', I'm not 'American'". 117 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:01,355 She says "yeah, you're American, you gotta put down American". 118 00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:03,090 I said "I'm Japanese". 119 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,726 You're not Japanese, you're American! 120 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:06,960 And I said, I can't do that. 121 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,229 I've never in my life claimed myself to be... 122 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:12,399 and I just said, like, well I'm gonna put Japanese down. 123 00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:14,067 She says "you're not from Japan!" 124 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,602 [laughing] 125 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,803 you know? 126 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,772 "You were born here, you're American" 127 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:22,776 And... it just... I was just blown away by... 128 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,780 y'know, for the first time I had to put that down, 129 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,281 otherwise it would've been rejected, 130 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,099 I had no choice in that. 131 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:36,690 Do you think that we don't get excited as Americans 132 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:40,327 when you say you are something other than just American? 133 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:45,026 I got excited when Mun Wah said to us that he is Chinese American, 134 00:07:45,026 --> 00:07:47,167 why can't he be just American, 135 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,134 and excited about being just American like David is? 136 00:07:50,134 --> 00:07:51,705 Wait a minute, I just... 137 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:55,608 He calls himself an American... 138 00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:59,913 But I'm doing that for a very specific purpose... 139 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:05,831 I'm doing it because I'm turning my identity as American 140 00:08:05,831 --> 00:08:07,855 to fight against the white supremacist notion 141 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:13,896 that only white people merit the status of the title of American. 142 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,330 Well I agree with that... 143 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:23,036 I refuse to to be segregated to, or to be allocated to a lower status 144 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,344 by not being recognized as an American. 145 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,258 I like that attitude, and I think that's a correct and proper attitude... 146 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:36,650 But I'm also Chinese and very proud of that, 147 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:40,521 and for a person to look at me and say "you're just", 148 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:45,392 for a white person to look at me and say "you're just like me, we're both American" 149 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:51,669 totally insults me because it denies my identity as a Chinese person too. 150 00:08:52,596 --> 00:08:55,869 I feel in a sense that I have a claim to be American 151 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,238 in ways that you don't. 152 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:01,241 Because my people came from this continent. 153 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:05,445 My ancestors came across the Bering Straight from Asia, 154 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,447 and came down the coast, 155 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:10,851 and on into central Mexico, 156 00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:14,187 and others of my ancestors came from Arabia, 157 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:20,360 through Egypt, through north Africa, and into Spain. 158 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:25,331 And then they all melted together in central Mexico. 159 00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:27,567 America is not the United States. 160 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,203 America is the entire continent. 161 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:35,342 But we think here, or Americans here think that America means just this country. 162 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,844 And so I feel like I have, you know, 163 00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:39,413 I've been in kind of... 164 00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:42,749 I don't want to say "I have...", 165 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,351 cause I don't feel it like that, 166 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:49,756 but my people, the people that I come from, 167 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,725 have been sort of robbed of that term. 168 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,327 We're not Americans, 169 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:59,132 even though WE ARE, [voice cracking] 170 00:10:00,194 --> 00:10:05,906 and, I don't know where that came from. 171 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,441 I don't know where that came from, 172 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:20,320 but, um, you know, when you say you know "I wish you would be American, 173 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,689 or you would all agree to be American", 174 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:27,393 you know what, what is presented to me as an American, 175 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:29,362 does not look like me, 176 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,097 does not think like me, 177 00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:33,299 does not smell like me, 178 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,968 does not cry like me, 179 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,571 does not play like me. 180 00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:38,939 So for me to say that, 181 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,974 to use that as my primary identification, 182 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,610 for me, it means to deny 183 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:46,503 all, nearly all of me. 184 00:10:48,742 --> 00:10:50,851 I worked in corporate America for awhile, 185 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:53,987 and now when I see guys walkin' down the street in a suit and tie, 186 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:59,159 I'm like whew, I bet he can't wait to go home and become a black man again. 187 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,594 You know? 188 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,903 Because you're not allowed to be a black man in corporate America. 189 00:11:04,903 --> 00:11:06,715 Walk through some halls with some pride, 190 00:11:06,715 --> 00:11:08,402 you're gonna scare some people. 191 00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:09,636 Show that you have some intelligence, 192 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,172 you scare people. 193 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,473 You gotta shuffle. 194 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:16,328 It's a 1993 shuffle, but it's still a shuffle. 195 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:20,380 You give us a hard time for being white, 196 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,214 and being American, 197 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,149 and being in control. 198 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:26,052 I've never felt in control. 199 00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:30,123 I had vineyards, and pear orchards for many years, 200 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,959 and I employed many of your people, 201 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,227 if you wish to call them that, 202 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,295 they're my dear friends, 203 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,030 to me they are friends, 204 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,600 equal to any that I would have. 205 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,639 And I greet them, 206 00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:49,725 and now they come into my business and they just want to come in and say hi and talk to me. 207 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,708 There is something different that's happened. 208 00:11:53,665 --> 00:11:56,649 What's different that's happened for us, 209 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,952 and I'm speaking as a people, 210 00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:02,388 borders on genocide, 211 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,090 takeover, 212 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,091 colonization, 213 00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:07,227 you know what happenes to me when I pass a mission? 214 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,130 Yknow? 215 00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:12,532 Not the same thing that happens to every group that passes a mission. 216 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,401 There's something different. 217 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:18,002 When I hear Father Junipero Serra, what do you think I think of? 218 00:12:18,002 --> 00:12:18,696 You know? 219 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,831 It's not... 220 00:12:19,831 --> 00:12:22,700 it's chopping off hands, 221 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,068 it's slavery, 222 00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:26,737 I mean, you know, that's what's different, 223 00:12:26,737 --> 00:12:32,276 and it gets tiring to not have that difference known. 224 00:12:32,276 --> 00:12:36,347 It gets tiring to not have that difference acknowledged, 225 00:12:36,347 --> 00:12:39,149 and to have to keep talking about it. 226 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,786 That's what gets tiring. 227 00:12:41,786 --> 00:12:49,761 So I see here an attitude expressed by Yutaka and by Roberto 228 00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:53,364 that says how can I be an American? I can't. 229 00:12:53,364 --> 00:12:55,333 And so I won't. 230 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:59,671 I'm going to cling to my heritage. 231 00:12:59,671 --> 00:13:01,839 Is this clinging the problem? 232 00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:05,743 Is this belief that you cannot become American the problem? 233 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:10,848 For years, I've said why do these guys have such a problem being a colour? 234 00:13:10,848 --> 00:13:12,650 Why can't they just be individuals? 235 00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:15,219 And go out and make a place for themselves? 236 00:13:15,219 --> 00:13:19,657 And I hear you saying that we whites don't allow that. 237 00:13:19,657 --> 00:13:22,693 That we keep you down, 238 00:13:22,693 --> 00:13:24,191 why aren't we just humans? 239 00:13:24,191 --> 00:13:26,397 I mean, why aren't we just... brothers? 240 00:13:26,397 --> 00:13:34,038 There's a certain um, um, sort of, silent consciousness 241 00:13:34,038 --> 00:13:36,940 about what it mean to be American, 242 00:13:36,940 --> 00:13:40,711 that I sense coming from, uh. white folks, 243 00:13:40,711 --> 00:13:42,146 that I'd like to talk about. 244 00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:43,915 But before I do that, 245 00:13:43,915 --> 00:13:47,485 I'd like to say one more thing that's tired about talking about racism, 246 00:13:47,485 --> 00:13:50,288 and that is that, uh, you know, 247 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,757 people of colour are spilling their guts, 248 00:13:52,757 --> 00:13:57,628 and "doing education" uh, to white people. 249 00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,563 "Let me explain to you how you got this wrong... 250 00:13:59,563 --> 00:14:01,265 let me explain to you how you got that wrong... 251 00:14:01,265 --> 00:14:02,533 let me explain..." 252 00:14:02,533 --> 00:14:04,435 and then we get cross-examined, 253 00:14:04,435 --> 00:14:08,038 and it's like "well, maybe you're problem is ... bababababa???" 254 00:14:08,038 --> 00:14:12,376 And it's always, you know, racism gets looked at as a person of colour's problem, 255 00:14:12,376 --> 00:14:14,345 and it's not. 256 00:14:14,345 --> 00:14:16,047 You know, we're like on the receiving end of the problem, 257 00:14:16,047 --> 00:14:17,582 but we are not the problem. 258 00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:20,184 Y'know, I walk in a world where, uh, 259 00:14:20,184 --> 00:14:25,022 where black people, where Latinos, where Asians, where Arabs, 260 00:14:25,022 --> 00:14:31,662 all these different people are... experienced as problem people, 261 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:35,332 and that "well, we're gonna deal with the...with the person of colour problem..." 262 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:40,337 when in fact, uh, racism is essentially a white problem. 263 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:44,141 And that for you to understand what racism is about, 264 00:14:44,141 --> 00:14:46,277 you're gonna be so uncomfortable, 265 00:14:46,277 --> 00:14:49,447 you're gonna be so different from who you see yourself to be now, 266 00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:54,352 that uh, you know, there's just no way for you to get it from where you're sitting. 267 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,328 And I'm not saying that you could not ever get it, 268 00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:59,590 I mean that you need to step outside of your skin, 269 00:14:59,590 --> 99:59:59,999 and step out...