WEBVTT

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My first word was "squirrel", I think.

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My next word was Mom,

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and the word after that was "disability".

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It was a word that I needed to be able to articulate

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something that was going on with my body.

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I personally don't actually like the word "disability"

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to describe what's going on with me

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because it's not,

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to me it's not specific enough, I guess.

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Cuz it just sounds like my ability is dissed [LAUGHING].

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The problem with the word "disability"

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is that it has a negative connotation from the get-go.

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It automatically implies that there's something

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that somebody can't,

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or something that somebody isn't,

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and that becomes defining,

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a foundational definition of the way somebody thinks of somebody.

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[PIANO MUSIC...]

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So for me,

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I was injured in the part of the spinal cord

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which is exactly right in the area where sexual ennervation takes place.

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But I had to find out for myself what all of this meant.

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I think that queer sex, being able to have queer sex,

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and opening myself up to queer sex

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and feeling good about it

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has been a lot about what it has taught me about how to have sex

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both with a different body and with different bodies,

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because you already are thinking about

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new ways that you do things,

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you're already thinking outside of this like normative paradigm

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of like, missionary position and "this is how people have sex".

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It became more and more about just me and my personal growth

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as an individual in a relationship,

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and less and less about my body and my disability.

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Having sex in my wheelchair is RAD!