My first word was "squirrel", I think.

My next word was Mom,

and the word after that was "disability".

It was a word that I needed to be able to articulate

something that was going on with my body.

I personally don't actually like the word "disability"

to describe what's going on with me

because it's not,

to me it's not specific enough, I guess.

Cuz it just sounds like my ability is dissed [LAUGHING].

The problem with the word "disability"

is that it has a negative connotation from the get-go.

It automatically implies that there's something

that somebody can't,

or something that somebody isn't,

and that becomes defining,

a foundational definition of the way somebody thinks of somebody.

[PIANO MUSIC...]

So for me,

I was injured in the part of the spinal cord

which is exactly right in the area where sexual ennervation takes place.

But I had to find out for myself what all of this meant.

I think that queer sex, being able to have queer sex,

and opening myself up to queer sex

and feeling good about it

has been a lot about what it has taught me about how to have sex

both with a different body and with different bodies,

because you already are thinking about

new ways that you do things,

you're already thinking outside of this like normative paradigm

of like, missionary position and "this is how people have sex".

It became more and more about just me and my personal growth

as an individual in a relationship,

and less and less about my body and my disability.

Having sex in my wheelchair is RAD!