1 00:00:16,222 --> 00:00:18,921 He's gonna take you back to the past 2 00:00:20,398 --> 00:00:23,091 To play the shitty games that suck ass 3 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:31,431 He'd rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear 4 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:40,022 He'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer 5 00:00:40,022 --> 00:00:44,226 He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard 6 00:00:44,226 --> 00:00:48,449 He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd 7 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:52,780 He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd 8 00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:57,925 He's the Angry Video Game Nerd 9 00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:11,581 Pong. A simple word. A simple idea. It's just Pong. 10 00:01:11,581 --> 00:01:14,923 It was one of the first video arcades from 1972. 11 00:01:14,923 --> 00:01:19,680 A simple screen mounted inside what looked like a carved treestump. 12 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:24,001 You could call this the wooden age of video games, when everything was made of wood, 13 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:29,509 and two people playing tennis looked like two glowsticks batting a square ball back and forth. 14 00:01:29,509 --> 00:01:31,951 Yeah, this was before circles were invented. 15 00:01:32,582 --> 00:01:37,245 In spite of its simplicity, it's a fun and addicting game, even to this day. 16 00:01:38,075 --> 00:01:42,014 I thought it was fun. Apparently, people thought so too, back then. 17 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:46,311 That's why they made a home Pong console, so you could play it at home. 18 00:01:46,311 --> 00:01:48,497 And then, there was another one! 19 00:01:48,497 --> 00:01:49,705 And another one! 20 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:50,540 And another one! 21 00:01:51,617 --> 00:01:52,209 And another one! 22 00:01:53,075 --> 00:01:53,682 And another one! 23 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,351 And another one! 24 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,928 There was like, nine million fucking Pong consoles! 25 00:02:00,035 --> 00:02:05,395 A Pong console can refer to any game system made in the '70s that didn't utilize cartridges. 26 00:02:05,395 --> 00:02:09,005 Instead, they had one built-in game, which was Pong. 27 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:13,034 Sometimes, they included different variations, certain kinds of updates, 28 00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:19,168 but it's mind-blowing to think that such a simple game could have inspired so many pieces of hardware to play it. 29 00:02:19,168 --> 00:02:25,809 So, just for shits and giggles, we're gonna take a look at all the Pong consoles which I happen to own. 30 00:02:25,809 --> 00:02:30,360 This right here is the Tournament 1000 by Unisonic. 31 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:36,500 Unfortunately, this one doesn't work, but with game consoles this old, that's something you have to expect. 32 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:41,195 From what we can assume, you can select between four different kinds of Pong. 33 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:45,417 And over here, it looks like the game didn't even have the technology of keeping score, 34 00:02:45,417 --> 00:02:47,981 so you have to do it manually, which is pretty shitty. 35 00:02:47,981 --> 00:02:50,864 Even the most basic Pong games kept score. 36 00:02:50,864 --> 00:02:53,392 The controllers slide out right here. 37 00:02:53,392 --> 00:02:56,260 Now that's what you call "a basic controller". 38 00:02:56,537 --> 00:03:00,644 Next, the APF TV Fun. That's a great name, isn't it? 39 00:03:00,644 --> 00:03:04,932 The console's got that wooden paneling, and it's shaped like some kind of spaceship. 40 00:03:04,932 --> 00:03:09,594 The controllers are like cylinders. You move the paddle by turning this thing right here. 41 00:03:09,594 --> 00:03:11,718 This game is your basic Pong. 42 00:03:11,718 --> 00:03:14,447 This little switch here changes the type of Pong. 43 00:03:14,447 --> 00:03:19,654 One thing that's typical about Pong consoles is that the sound effects never come through the TV. 44 00:03:19,654 --> 00:03:22,798 They come from a built-in speaker on the console itself. 45 00:03:22,798 --> 00:03:27,450 I guess you can say it's similar to the Wiimote, how certain sound effects come out of it. 46 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:32,224 Next, the Wonder Wizard. Looks like a slab of wood with game dials thrown on it. 47 00:03:32,224 --> 00:03:38,528 It was literally built from a Magnavox Odyssey, using the same circuit board and part of the plastic casing. 48 00:03:38,528 --> 00:03:41,329 Also, it uses the same video connector. 49 00:03:41,329 --> 00:03:48,487 It's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen, and as far to my knowledge, it only exists on the Odyssey and the Wonder Wizard. 50 00:03:48,487 --> 00:03:53,702 This might be a good time to bring up that most of these old consoles have a connector that looks like this. 51 00:03:53,702 --> 00:03:58,101 You have to plug them into a box and then screw the box into your TV. 52 00:03:58,101 --> 00:04:00,429 But I say get yourself one of these, 53 00:04:00,429 --> 00:04:03,020 But I say get yourself one of these, plug it into the coaxial input on your TV, 54 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:04,306 But I say get yourself one of these, plug it into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in, 55 00:04:04,306 --> 00:04:07,301 But I say get yourself one of these, plug it into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in, and tell that box to go fuck itself! 56 00:04:07,301 --> 00:04:11,088 However, the Odyssey and Wonder Wizard, with this fucking weird shit, 57 00:04:11,088 --> 00:04:13,233 you have no choice but to use a box. 58 00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:17,064 And even worse, it has to be a special box that takes this crap. 59 00:04:17,064 --> 00:04:20,611 And after all that, you're lucky if the picture comes in clear! 60 00:04:20,611 --> 00:04:23,907 Channel 3, channel 4, what the fuck? 61 00:04:23,922 --> 00:04:28,471 The left paddle won't stop flickering, and the right paddle doesn't even exist! 62 00:04:28,471 --> 00:04:31,070 Where is it? Where is it? 63 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:35,973 And speaking of weird hookups, the worst of all is the RCA Studio II. 64 00:04:35,973 --> 00:04:41,955 Technically, it's not a Pong console because it uses cartridges, but when the hell am I ever gonna talk about this thing? 65 00:04:41,955 --> 00:04:48,415 Typically, any game system will use two wires, one for the AC adapter, and one to plug into the TV. 66 00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:54,486 But then there's shitty consoles like this that think they're being cutting-edge by combining both the wires into one. 67 00:04:54,486 --> 00:05:01,486 In other words, both the video connector and AC adapter plug into the same box, which then plugs into the TV. 68 00:05:01,486 --> 00:05:07,602 Again, forcing you to use a box, and to unscrew it every time you want to play a different game system. 69 00:05:08,187 --> 00:05:14,018 So, technically speaking, the video signal is traveling up this wire, 70 00:05:14,018 --> 00:05:20,822 and then the electricity coming from the wall socket is coming back through the same wire. 71 00:05:20,822 --> 00:05:23,731 I don't even understand how that works! 72 00:05:23,731 --> 00:05:27,690 The only other system I know that does that is the Atari 5200. 73 00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:30,622 We all know how much ass that thing sucks! 74 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:36,005 One last thing to say about the RCA Studio II, it doesn't even have any external controllers. 75 00:05:36,005 --> 00:05:39,269 Two players would have to huddle around and use the keypads. 76 00:05:39,269 --> 00:05:42,966 Man, if there was an RCA Studio I, I'd hate to see it. 77 00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:49,938 Next, the RadioShack TV Scoreboard. Looks like a remote for a TV, with a Siamese twin. 78 00:05:49,938 --> 00:05:53,707 Pull this off, you give it to your friend, say "Fuck you, this is all you get." 79 00:05:53,707 --> 00:05:56,893 "Look at me, I got all this shit. I'm in control, motherfucker!" 80 00:05:58,555 --> 00:06:01,453 Ugh, why does the ball keep going through the paddle? 81 00:06:01,453 --> 00:06:05,983 Serve, reset, reset, serve...I'm playing Ghost Pong! 82 00:06:05,983 --> 00:06:09,414 Oh, there's color? All of a sudden, the color comes on? 83 00:06:09,906 --> 00:06:13,623 The Sears Super Pong Telegames. Simple enough. 84 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:17,707 Two little knobs for controllers. Works alright. Basic Pong. 85 00:06:17,707 --> 00:06:19,871 You got four different kinds of Pong. 86 00:06:19,871 --> 00:06:23,256 Like, what the hell is this? Reverse Pong? 87 00:06:23,256 --> 00:06:25,601 Okay, now what's this? Asshole Pong? 88 00:06:25,601 --> 00:06:27,259 That's not fair! 89 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:31,273 Colorsport VIII. Now this is badass-looking. 90 00:06:31,273 --> 00:06:33,974 The controllers pop out the sides, like that. 91 00:06:33,974 --> 00:06:37,935 Two more controllers plug in, so I guess you could have four players. 92 00:06:37,935 --> 00:06:40,592 Got all these switches here, four different games, 93 00:06:40,592 --> 00:06:43,505 Handball, hockey, tennis, skeet. 94 00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:47,339 Okay, what's going on? All they do is change color? 95 00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:50,849 Hockey's red, tennis is blue, is that it? 96 00:06:50,849 --> 00:06:53,170 I don't even know if this thing's working right. 97 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:55,972 Ricochet. Well, this is excessive. 98 00:06:55,972 --> 00:06:59,274 Instead of two controllers, let's have two consoles. 99 00:06:59,889 --> 00:07:03,523 Aside from the clunky design, the game works okay. 100 00:07:03,535 --> 00:07:06,059 Except the right controller's a little jittery. 101 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,321 That's what happens. The thing about these Pong consoles, 102 00:07:08,321 --> 00:07:10,658 and one of the things that makes them so fun to play, 103 00:07:10,658 --> 00:07:13,024 is that the paddles move so fluently. 104 00:07:13,024 --> 00:07:16,739 It's like an analog control that doesn't exist in games today. 105 00:07:16,739 --> 00:07:21,402 The downside is that they break easily, and sometimes you get this jittery movement. 106 00:07:22,156 --> 00:07:28,675 This yellow bastard here is called the TV4 Four-Way Video Game. Rolls right off your tongue. 107 00:07:28,675 --> 00:07:32,075 Well, you already know how I feel about these accursed boxes. 108 00:07:32,075 --> 00:07:36,505 How do you think I feel that this one is permanently attached to the fucking game console? 109 00:07:36,505 --> 00:07:41,304 These things come from Hell. These forks at the end might as well be the Devil's pitchfork. 110 00:07:41,304 --> 00:07:44,843 One of them's chewed off, so I have no way of connecting it to the TV. 111 00:07:45,289 --> 00:07:47,972 And I have no way of replacing the box! 112 00:07:47,972 --> 00:07:50,135 You think that makes me happy? (laughs slightly) 113 00:07:50,135 --> 00:07:51,156 It doesn't! 114 00:07:51,156 --> 00:07:52,212 [crash] 115 00:07:52,212 --> 00:07:55,650 Another one I can't play is the Color TV Game 6. 116 00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:59,419 It was made by Nintendo in 1977. Pretty cool. 117 00:07:59,419 --> 00:08:03,972 It was only released in Japan, which is why it won't work on my American TVs. 118 00:08:03,972 --> 00:08:10,412 I've heard something about turning the channel to 95, but none of my TVs go any higher than 82. 119 00:08:10,412 --> 00:08:15,653 Apparently, it has six games, and two players would have to grapple for the controls. 120 00:08:15,653 --> 00:08:20,753 Nintendo had an updated version with 15 games and detachable controllers. 121 00:08:20,753 --> 00:08:23,590 Here's the Volley VI, fresh in the box. 122 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:29,374 Ah, that stained white color, tasteless wood grain. It reeks with age. 123 00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:33,427 The controllers dismount, and you got a nice tray to hold your beer. 124 00:08:33,427 --> 00:08:35,024 Fuck, almost. 125 00:08:35,793 --> 00:08:39,589 The games are pretty typical, it's your average Pong, with one exception - 126 00:08:39,589 --> 00:08:41,425 it's got some gun games! 127 00:08:41,425 --> 00:08:46,493 I don't have the gun that goes with it, but as you can see on the box, it was some serious shit. 128 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:51,763 This is an example of a Pong console that uses batteries. That's another thing I need to mention, 129 00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:56,281 it's always C batteries, but you have the option of using an AC adapter. 130 00:08:56,773 --> 00:08:59,573 Now, tell me, what would you rather do? 131 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:05,708 Run to the store to get some C batteries to play your Volley VI, or just plug it in the wall? 132 00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:11,160 The only problem is that a lot of these Pong consoles did not include the AC adapter. 133 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,877 Now, I don't know if that's because people lose them, or they break, 134 00:09:14,877 --> 00:09:19,307 but judging from the box, and just the fact that batteries are an option, 135 00:09:19,307 --> 00:09:21,987 I imagine a lot of times they didn't include it. 136 00:09:21,987 --> 00:09:24,937 Now, what are you gonna do with batteries? Play it at the fucking beach? 137 00:09:24,937 --> 00:09:29,896 Did Pong consoles have some kind of deal with the battery companies to sell more fucking batteries? 138 00:09:30,342 --> 00:09:34,173 Alright, this is the Magnavox Odyssey 4000. 139 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:37,647 In between the Odyssey and Odyssey², which were cartridge-based, 140 00:09:37,647 --> 00:09:42,724 Magnavox made a whole bunch of Pong consoles, naming them after the thousand digits. 141 00:09:42,724 --> 00:09:48,065 The biggest innovation here is that you can move in any direction, rather than just straight up and down. 142 00:09:49,265 --> 00:09:52,131 The Fairchild Channel F was another innovation. 143 00:09:52,131 --> 00:09:56,310 It's a cartridge-based console, but it includes a great Pong game. 144 00:09:56,310 --> 00:10:02,583 The controllers were the most complicated yet, and it takes some time getting used to, but when you do, it's awesome. 145 00:10:03,106 --> 00:10:06,197 Rocking the stick moves the paddle in any four directions. 146 00:10:06,197 --> 00:10:09,391 Twisting and turning changes the angle the paddle's facing. 147 00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:12,356 Pushing and pulling moves the goalie up and down. 148 00:10:12,356 --> 00:10:16,467 If you play it with a friend, it makes for a busy and intense game of Pong. 149 00:10:17,513 --> 00:10:22,329 This is the Coleco Telstar. Once again, the controllers are built on the console. 150 00:10:22,329 --> 00:10:25,560 There's three settings, tennis, hockey, and handball. 151 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,772 It's another basic Pong console. 152 00:10:27,772 --> 00:10:31,131 At last, we have the Coleco Telstar Arcade. 153 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,474 Look at this mess. A steering wheel, a gun? 154 00:10:34,474 --> 00:10:36,916 What madman came up with this? 155 00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:40,012 Believe it or not, it actually uses cartridges. 156 00:10:40,012 --> 00:10:46,014 Have you ever seen a cartridge like this? A silver triangle that snaps onto the top of the console? 157 00:10:46,014 --> 00:10:48,720 On one side, you have a regular Pong game. 158 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,933 On the other, you have a racing game. 159 00:10:50,933 --> 00:10:55,506 The lever controls your speed, and the wheel steers your car vertically on the screen. 160 00:10:57,106 --> 00:10:58,204 It's kinda cool. 161 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:03,026 The gun game is like trying to shoot falling stars. 162 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,984 It's impossible, but the gun's probably broken, so who knows? 163 00:11:08,892 --> 00:11:14,486 Well, that's Pong for ya. All these different consoles goes to show how such a simple game 164 00:11:14,486 --> 00:11:17,582 could become such a hot-selling franchise. 165 00:11:17,582 --> 00:11:20,330 I could see people thinking 30 years ago, 166 00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:26,013 "Wow. Pong. This is where it's at. It ain't gonna get any better than this." 167 00:11:26,013 --> 00:11:31,216 "Now what's this here, this Xbox 360? Some modern game system?" 168 00:11:31,216 --> 00:11:35,915 "I don't know, maybe it has advanced graphics. Might even be in color. Let's check it out." 169 00:11:35,915 --> 00:11:57,196 [rock music]