0:00:16.222,0:00:18.921
He's gonna take you back to the past

0:00:20.398,0:00:23.091
To play the shitty games that suck ass

0:00:23.091,0:00:31.431
He'd rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear

0:00:31.431,0:00:40.022
He'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer

0:00:40.022,0:00:44.226
He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard

0:00:44.226,0:00:48.449
He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd

0:00:48.449,0:00:52.780
He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd

0:00:52.780,0:00:57.925
He's the Angry Video Game Nerd

0:01:06.710,0:01:11.581
Pong. A simple word. A simple idea. It's just Pong.

0:01:11.581,0:01:14.923
It was one of the first video arcades from 1972.

0:01:14.923,0:01:19.680
A simple screen mounted inside what looked like a carved treestump.

0:01:19.680,0:01:24.001
You could call this the wooden age of video games, when everything was made of wood,

0:01:24.001,0:01:29.509
and two people playing tennis looked like two glowsticks batting a square ball back and forth.

0:01:29.509,0:01:31.951
Yeah, this was before circles were invented.

0:01:32.582,0:01:37.245
In spite of its simplicity, it's a fun and addicting game, even to this day.

0:01:38.075,0:01:42.014
I thought it was fun. Apparently, people thought so too, back then.

0:01:42.014,0:01:46.311
That's why they made a home Pong console, so you could play it at home.

0:01:46.311,0:01:48.497
And then, there was another one!

0:01:48.497,0:01:49.705
And another one!

0:01:50.009,0:01:50.540
And another one!

0:01:51.617,0:01:52.209
And another one!

0:01:53.075,0:01:53.682
And another one!

0:01:54.482,0:01:55.351
And another one!

0:01:55.840,0:01:58.928
There was like, nine million fucking Pong consoles!

0:02:00.035,0:02:05.395
A Pong console can refer to any game system made in the '70s that didn't utilize cartridges.

0:02:05.395,0:02:09.005
Instead, they had one built-in game, which was Pong.

0:02:09.005,0:02:13.034
Sometimes, they included different variations, certain kinds of updates,

0:02:13.034,0:02:19.168
but it's mind-blowing to think that such a simple game could have inspired so many pieces of hardware to play it.

0:02:19.168,0:02:25.809
So, just for shits and giggles, we're gonna take a look at all the Pong consoles which I happen to own.

0:02:25.809,0:02:30.360
This right here is the Tournament 1000 by Unisonic.

0:02:30.360,0:02:36.500
Unfortunately, this one doesn't work, but with game consoles this old, that's something you have to expect.

0:02:36.500,0:02:41.195
From what we can assume, you can select between four different kinds of Pong.

0:02:41.195,0:02:45.417
And over here, it looks like the game didn't even have the technology of keeping score,

0:02:45.417,0:02:47.981
so you have to do it manually, which is pretty shitty.

0:02:47.981,0:02:50.864
Even the most basic Pong games kept score.

0:02:50.864,0:02:53.392
The controllers slide out right here.

0:02:53.392,0:02:56.260
Now that's what you call "a basic controller".

0:02:56.537,0:03:00.644
Next, the APF TV Fun. That's a great name, isn't it?

0:03:00.644,0:03:04.932
The console's got that wooden paneling, and it's shaped like some kind of spaceship.

0:03:04.932,0:03:09.594
The controllers are like cylinders. You move the paddle by turning this thing right here.

0:03:09.594,0:03:11.718
This game is your basic Pong.

0:03:11.718,0:03:14.447
This little switch here changes the type of Pong.

0:03:14.447,0:03:19.654
One thing that's typical about Pong consoles is that the sound effects never come through the TV.

0:03:19.654,0:03:22.798
They come from a built-in speaker on the console itself.

0:03:22.798,0:03:27.450
I guess you can say it's similar to the Wiimote, how certain sound effects come out of it.

0:03:27.450,0:03:32.224
Next, the Wonder Wizard. Looks like a slab of wood with game dials thrown on it.

0:03:32.224,0:03:38.528
It was literally built from a Magnavox Odyssey, using the same circuit board and part of the plastic casing.

0:03:38.528,0:03:41.329
Also, it uses the same video connector.

0:03:41.329,0:03:48.487
It's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen, and as far to my knowledge, it only exists on the Odyssey and the Wonder Wizard.

0:03:48.487,0:03:53.702
This might be a good time to bring up that most of these old consoles have a connector that looks like this.

0:03:53.702,0:03:58.101
You have to plug them into a box and then screw the box into your TV.

0:03:58.101,0:04:00.429
But I say get yourself one of these,

0:04:00.429,0:04:03.020
But I say get yourself one of these, plug it into the coaxial input on your TV,

0:04:03.020,0:04:04.306
But I say get yourself one of these, plug it into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in,

0:04:04.306,0:04:07.301
But I say get yourself one of these, plug it into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in, and tell that box to go fuck itself!

0:04:07.301,0:04:11.088
However, the Odyssey and Wonder Wizard, with this fucking weird shit,

0:04:11.088,0:04:13.233
you have no choice but to use a box.

0:04:13.233,0:04:17.064
And even worse, it has to be a special box that takes this crap.

0:04:17.064,0:04:20.611
And after all that, you're lucky if the picture comes in clear!

0:04:20.611,0:04:23.907
Channel 3, channel 4, what the fuck?

0:04:23.922,0:04:28.471
The left paddle won't stop flickering, and the right paddle doesn't even exist!

0:04:28.471,0:04:31.070
Where is it? Where is it?

0:04:31.070,0:04:35.973
And speaking of weird hookups, the worst of all is the RCA Studio II.

0:04:35.973,0:04:41.955
Technically, it's not a Pong console because it uses cartridges, but when the hell am I ever gonna talk about this thing?

0:04:41.955,0:04:48.415
Typically, any game system will use two wires, one for the AC adapter, and one to plug into the TV.

0:04:48.419,0:04:54.486
But then there's shitty consoles like this that think they're being cutting-edge by combining both the wires into one.

0:04:54.486,0:05:01.486
In other words, both the video connector and AC adapter plug into the same box, which then plugs into the TV.

0:05:01.486,0:05:07.602
Again, forcing you to use a box, and to unscrew it every time you want to play a different game system.

0:05:08.187,0:05:14.018
So, technically speaking, the video signal is traveling up this wire,

0:05:14.018,0:05:20.822
and then the electricity coming from the wall socket is coming back through the same wire.

0:05:20.822,0:05:23.731
I don't even understand how that works!

0:05:23.731,0:05:27.690
The only other system I know that does that is the Atari 5200.

0:05:27.690,0:05:30.622
We all know how much ass that thing sucks!

0:05:30.622,0:05:36.005
One last thing to say about the RCA Studio II, it doesn't even have any external controllers.

0:05:36.005,0:05:39.269
Two players would have to huddle around and use the keypads.

0:05:39.269,0:05:42.966
Man, if there was an RCA Studio I, I'd hate to see it.

0:05:42.966,0:05:49.938
Next, the RadioShack TV Scoreboard. Looks like a remote for a TV, with a Siamese twin.

0:05:49.938,0:05:53.707
Pull this off, you give it to your friend, say "Fuck you, this is all you get."

0:05:53.707,0:05:56.893
"Look at me, I got all this shit. I'm in control, motherfucker!"

0:05:58.555,0:06:01.453
Ugh, why does the ball keep going through the paddle?

0:06:01.453,0:06:05.983
Serve, reset, reset, serve...I'm playing Ghost Pong!

0:06:05.983,0:06:09.414
Oh, there's color? All of a sudden, the color comes on?

0:06:09.906,0:06:13.623
The Sears Super Pong Telegames. Simple enough.

0:06:13.623,0:06:17.707
Two little knobs for controllers. Works alright. Basic Pong.

0:06:17.707,0:06:19.871
You got four different kinds of Pong.

0:06:19.871,0:06:23.256
Like, what the hell is this? Reverse Pong?

0:06:23.256,0:06:25.601
Okay, now what's this? Asshole Pong?

0:06:25.601,0:06:27.259
That's not fair!

0:06:27.721,0:06:31.273
Colorsport VIII. Now this is badass-looking.

0:06:31.273,0:06:33.974
The controllers pop out the sides, like that.

0:06:33.974,0:06:37.935
Two more controllers plug in, so I guess you could have four players.

0:06:37.935,0:06:40.592
Got all these switches here, four different games,

0:06:40.592,0:06:43.505
Handball, hockey, tennis, skeet.

0:06:43.936,0:06:47.339
Okay, what's going on? All they do is change color?

0:06:47.339,0:06:50.849
Hockey's red, tennis is blue, is that it?

0:06:50.849,0:06:53.170
I don't even know if this thing's working right.

0:06:53.170,0:06:55.972
Ricochet. Well, this is excessive.

0:06:55.972,0:06:59.274
Instead of two controllers, let's have two consoles.

0:06:59.889,0:07:03.523
Aside from the clunky design, the game works okay.

0:07:03.535,0:07:06.059
Except the right controller's a little jittery.

0:07:06.059,0:07:08.321
That's what happens. The thing about these Pong consoles,

0:07:08.321,0:07:10.658
and one of the things that makes them so fun to play,

0:07:10.658,0:07:13.024
is that the paddles move so fluently.

0:07:13.024,0:07:16.739
It's like an analog control that doesn't exist in games today.

0:07:16.739,0:07:21.402
The downside is that they break easily, and sometimes you get this jittery movement.

0:07:22.156,0:07:28.675
This yellow bastard here is called the TV4 Four-Way Video Game. Rolls right off your tongue.

0:07:28.675,0:07:32.075
Well, you already know how I feel about these accursed boxes.

0:07:32.075,0:07:36.505
How do you think I feel that this one is permanently attached to the fucking game console?

0:07:36.505,0:07:41.304
These things come from Hell. These forks at the end might as well be the Devil's pitchfork.

0:07:41.304,0:07:44.843
One of them's chewed off, so I have no way of connecting it to the TV.

0:07:45.289,0:07:47.972
And I have no way of replacing the box!

0:07:47.972,0:07:50.135
You think that makes me happy? (laughs slightly)

0:07:50.135,0:07:51.156
It doesn't!

0:07:51.156,0:07:52.212
[crash]

0:07:52.212,0:07:55.650
Another one I can't play is the Color TV Game 6.

0:07:55.650,0:07:59.419
It was made by Nintendo in 1977. Pretty cool.

0:07:59.419,0:08:03.972
It was only released in Japan, which is why it won't work on my American TVs.

0:08:03.972,0:08:10.412
I've heard something about turning the channel to 95, but none of my TVs go any higher than 82.

0:08:10.412,0:08:15.653
Apparently, it has six games, and two players would have to grapple for the controls.

0:08:15.653,0:08:20.753
Nintendo had an updated version with 15 games and detachable controllers.

0:08:20.753,0:08:23.590
Here's the Volley VI, fresh in the box.

0:08:23.590,0:08:29.374
Ah, that stained white color, tasteless wood grain. It reeks with age.

0:08:29.374,0:08:33.427
The controllers dismount, and you got a nice tray to hold your beer.

0:08:33.427,0:08:35.024
Fuck, almost.

0:08:35.793,0:08:39.589
The games are pretty typical, it's your average Pong, with one exception -

0:08:39.589,0:08:41.425
it's got some gun games!

0:08:41.425,0:08:46.493
I don't have the gun that goes with it, but as you can see on the box, it was some serious shit.

0:08:46.493,0:08:51.763
This is an example of a Pong console that uses batteries. That's another thing I need to mention,

0:08:51.763,0:08:56.281
it's always C batteries, but you have the option of using an AC adapter.

0:08:56.773,0:08:59.573
Now, tell me, what would you rather do?

0:08:59.573,0:09:05.708
Run to the store to get some C batteries to play your Volley VI, or just plug it in the wall?

0:09:05.708,0:09:11.160
The only problem is that a lot of these Pong consoles did not include the AC adapter.

0:09:11.160,0:09:14.877
Now, I don't know if that's because people lose them, or they break,

0:09:14.877,0:09:19.307
but judging from the box, and just the fact that batteries are an option,

0:09:19.307,0:09:21.987
I imagine a lot of times they didn't include it.

0:09:21.987,0:09:24.937
Now, what are you gonna do with batteries? Play it at the fucking beach?

0:09:24.937,0:09:29.896
Did Pong consoles have some kind of deal with the battery companies to sell more fucking batteries?

0:09:30.342,0:09:34.173
Alright, this is the Magnavox Odyssey 4000.

0:09:34.173,0:09:37.647
In between the Odyssey and Odyssey², which were cartridge-based,

0:09:37.647,0:09:42.724
Magnavox made a whole bunch of Pong consoles, naming them after the thousand digits.

0:09:42.724,0:09:48.065
The biggest innovation here is that you can move in any direction, rather than just straight up and down.

0:09:49.265,0:09:52.131
The Fairchild Channel F was another innovation.

0:09:52.131,0:09:56.310
It's a cartridge-based console, but it includes a great Pong game.

0:09:56.310,0:10:02.583
The controllers were the most complicated yet, and it takes some time getting used to, but when you do, it's awesome.

0:10:03.106,0:10:06.197
Rocking the stick moves the paddle in any four directions.

0:10:06.197,0:10:09.391
Twisting and turning changes the angle the paddle's facing.

0:10:09.391,0:10:12.356
Pushing and pulling moves the goalie up and down.

0:10:12.356,0:10:16.467
If you play it with a friend, it makes for a busy and intense game of Pong.

0:10:17.513,0:10:22.329
This is the Coleco Telstar. Once again, the controllers are built on the console.

0:10:22.329,0:10:25.560
There's three settings, tennis, hockey, and handball.

0:10:25.560,0:10:27.772
It's another basic Pong console.

0:10:27.772,0:10:31.131
At last, we have the Coleco Telstar Arcade.

0:10:31.131,0:10:34.474
Look at this mess. A steering wheel, a gun?

0:10:34.474,0:10:36.916
What madman came up with this?

0:10:36.916,0:10:40.012
Believe it or not, it actually uses cartridges.

0:10:40.012,0:10:46.014
Have you ever seen a cartridge like this? A silver triangle that snaps onto the top of the console?

0:10:46.014,0:10:48.720
On one side, you have a regular Pong game.

0:10:48.720,0:10:50.933
On the other, you have a racing game.

0:10:50.933,0:10:55.506
The lever controls your speed, and the wheel steers your car vertically on the screen.

0:10:57.106,0:10:58.204
It's kinda cool.

0:11:00.127,0:11:03.026
The gun game is like trying to shoot falling stars.

0:11:04.164,0:11:07.984
It's impossible, but the gun's probably broken, so who knows?

0:11:08.892,0:11:14.486
Well, that's Pong for ya. All these different consoles goes to show how such a simple game

0:11:14.486,0:11:17.582
could become such a hot-selling franchise.

0:11:17.582,0:11:20.330
I could see people thinking 30 years ago,

0:11:20.330,0:11:26.013
"Wow. Pong. This is where it's at. It ain't gonna get any better than this."

0:11:26.013,0:11:31.216
"Now what's this here, this Xbox 360? Some modern game system?"

0:11:31.216,0:11:35.915
"I don't know, maybe it has advanced graphics. Might even be in color. Let's check it out."

0:11:35.915,0:11:57.196
[rock music]