[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.24,0:00:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is wonderful to be here at the white house correspondence dinner.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.94,0:00:09.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What a week.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.88,0:00:19.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As some of you heard, the state of hawaii released my official long form birth certificate.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.34,0:00:31.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hopefully, this puts all doubts to rest but just in case there are any lingering questions
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.97,0:00:36.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tonight, I'm prepared to go a step further
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.52,0:00:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tonight for the first time
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.34,0:00:46.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm releasing my official birth video
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.57,0:00:54.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.41,0:00:56.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I warn you
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.78,0:01:02.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no one has seen this footage in 50 years
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.80,0:01:04.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not even me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.94,0:01:08.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but uh let's take a look
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.24,0:01:55.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh well back to square one
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.64,0:02:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to make clear to the Fox News Table
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.48,0:02:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was a joke that was not my real birth video
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.24,0:02:24.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was a childrens' cartoon. Call Disney if you don't believe me. They have the original long form version.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.67,0:02:33.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michelle Bachmann is here though, I understand, and she is thinking about running for president
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.21,0:02:38.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is weird because I hear she was born in Canada
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.44,0:02:47.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes Michelle this is how it starts..just letting you know
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.67,0:02:56.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's a vicious rumour floating around that I think could
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.11,0:02:58.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really hurt Mitt Romney
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.31,0:03:05.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I heard he passed Universal Healthcare when he was Governor of Massachusetts
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.28,0:03:08.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,someone should get to the bottom of that and I know
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.24,0:03:14.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just the guy to do it..Donald Trump is here tonight
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.41,0:03:24.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I know that he's taken some flack lately but no one is happier
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.30,0:03:31.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.88,0:03:37.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.47,0:03:44.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like did we fake the moon landing?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.44,0:03:48.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what really happened in Roswell?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.31,0:03:56.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and where are Biggie and Tupac?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.71,0:04:05.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All kidding aside, obviously we all know about your credentials and
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.41,0:04:13.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,breth of experience, for example, uh, no seriously
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.04,0:04:17.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just recently, in an episode of celebrity apprentice
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.81,0:04:22.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at the steak house the men's cooking team did not
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.58,0:04:26.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,impress the judges from Omaha Steaks
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.80,0:04:28.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there was a lot of blame to go around
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.80,0:04:34.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you Mr. Trump recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.21,0:04:40.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so ultimately you didn't blame little john or meatloaf
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.30,0:04:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you fired Gary Busey
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.87,0:04:56.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and these are the kinds of decisions that would keep me up at night
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.11,0:05:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well handled sir. well handled.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.27,0:05:12.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say what you will about ..uh, Mr. Trump
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.67,0:05:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he certainly would bring about some change to the White House
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.91,0:05:20.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's see what we got up there