WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.627 Previously on Your Face is a Saxophone 00:00:02.630 --> 00:00:09.375 Look, Boss, Andrew is, uh, enthusiastic, but things just really haven't been the same since we lost Tommy. 00:00:09.378 --> 00:00:10.627 -Hi, Eddie? -Yes! 00:00:10.630 --> 00:00:11.627 So you're the new Tommy? 00:00:11.630 --> 00:00:14.000 Oh, dude, you gotta check this out, look look look, check it out, check it out, bro. 00:00:14.003 --> 00:00:15.795 It means "awesome" in Asian. 00:00:15.798 --> 00:00:22.711 I'm the big man around here! I make the decisions! And I get the big, fat bonus at the end of the fiscal year! 00:00:22.714 --> 00:00:23.840 Andrew is a prick. 00:00:23.843 --> 00:00:27.000 Your cut is...zero dollars and zero cents, Mr. Boulder! 00:00:27.003 --> 00:00:28.210 Go die in a fire. 00:00:28.213 --> 00:00:30.420 This is not the kind of reputation we should be spreading! 00:00:30.423 --> 00:00:32.210 Do you have a better idea, dick-smack? 00:00:32.213 --> 00:00:34.042 I do! We should be nice to people! 00:00:34.045 --> 00:00:36.168 How 'bout we A/B this? 00:00:36.171 --> 00:00:39.840 We'll go with your strategy, then with Andrew's strategy, and see what the data says. 00:00:39.843 --> 00:00:42.252 You're goin' DOWN, bitch! 00:00:42.255 --> 00:00:43.420 You have a three-inch penis. 00:01:05.546 --> 00:01:08.630 Hey! Pap smear! Send me that CPM report from yesterday! 00:01:11.378 --> 00:01:14.420 Normally, I'd just ignore you, but… 00:01:14.882 --> 00:01:16.420 WHAT did you call me? 00:01:16.630 --> 00:01:18.072 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I said it. Anyway! 00:01:18.075 --> 00:01:19.627 CPM report! Email it! Chop chop! 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:23.000 It's on the server! Get it yourself! 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:26.420 Uh huh. Yeah. 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:30.072 So. Hey. You wanna get dinner tonight? 00:01:30.075 --> 00:01:34.210 Isn't there a sexual harassment policy in this office? 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:37.630 Geez! I'm just askin' if you wanna get dinner. 00:01:37.633 --> 00:01:42.630 You have asked me that EVERY single day since I broke up with you 00:01:42.633 --> 00:01:45.840 And EVERY single time, I have responded 00:01:45.843 --> 00:01:49.420 With some permutation of "Go fuck yourself!" 00:01:49.630 --> 00:01:54.420 Why don't you use your chart-making skills and analyze that trend?¡ 00:01:56.630 --> 00:01:58.420 So…you wanna get dinner? 00:01:58.630 --> 00:02:01.000 I wanna stab you in the testicles. 00:02:01.252 --> 00:02:03.072 Helvetica's totally better than Myriad! 00:02:03.075 --> 00:02:05.630 Are you kidding? It's boring. Everyone uses it now. 00:02:05.633 --> 00:02:08.207 Yeah, why do think everyone uses it? 'Cause it's awesome! 00:02:08.210 --> 00:02:12.000 It's cliché. And besides, it's all bland and square-y and… 00:02:12.003 --> 00:02:13.840 I don't know, it's just too Grotesque for me. 00:02:13.843 --> 00:02:17.210 -It's not gross! How is it gross? It's not gross at all! -Blake! Get back to work! 00:02:17.630 --> 00:02:19.840 I don't have any work! You haven't given us a project yet. 00:02:19.843 --> 00:02:22.000 You don't look busy! Employees are supposed to look busy! 00:02:22.003 --> 00:02:25.333 -B-b-but I-- -No buts! I'm a boss! I'm acting like a boss! Go act like you're busy! 00:02:25.336 --> 00:02:26.420 Aww… 00:02:27.378 --> 00:02:29.210 Eddie! Are you working? Are you hard at work? 00:02:29.213 --> 00:02:31.630 Well, we don't have a project yet, so actually I'm just -- 00:02:31.633 --> 00:02:33.504 You look like you're working! Keep up the good work! 00:02:36.630 --> 00:02:38.072 Hey! There we go! 00:02:38.714 --> 00:02:40.000 [BOSS:] Leora! Are you working? 00:02:42.378 --> 00:02:44.420 Hellllllo there! 00:02:47.588 --> 00:02:49.000 -Ow! -Sorry! 00:02:49.210 --> 00:02:52.630 Okay, team! I'm glad we all had such a productive morning! 00:02:52.633 --> 00:02:55.420 We didn't do anything, Boss. There wasn't anything to do. 00:02:55.423 --> 00:02:58.000 And it got done in record time! Give yourselves a hand! 00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:07.042 Now, you may remember on Friday, we decided to have a little bit of a shooooooowdooooooown! 00:03:07.420 --> 00:03:10.417 [CRICKETS CHIRP] 00:03:10.420 --> 00:03:13.840 So! Conveniently enough, we have two new clients who need us to 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:17.210 Amplify their brand experience with engaging and relevant content! 00:03:17.213 --> 00:03:21.924 It's a perfect opportunity for us to see which strategy is the most breakthrough at leveraging influencers 00:03:21.927 --> 00:03:24.000 And igniting organic conversations! 00:03:24.294 --> 00:03:26.072 What the fuck does that mean? 00:03:26.075 --> 00:03:29.840 I think he's talking about me versus Andrew, somehow. 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:31.840 First order of business: teams! 00:03:31.843 --> 00:03:35.840 In this corner: Edward Tungsten-Cohen! 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.210 And his team members: Kevin, Leora, and Blake! 00:03:39.213 --> 00:03:41.042 All right! I'm on Team Edward! 00:03:41.630 --> 00:03:44.630 And in this corner! Andrew Sholes! 00:03:44.633 --> 00:03:46.000 And his team members: 00:03:46.003 --> 00:03:49.333 Janet, Michael, Robert, Puneet, Philip, Jason, Ivan, Marty, Kirk! 00:03:49.336 --> 00:03:51.879 Wait! Why does he get more people than me? 00:03:51.882 --> 00:03:53.210 You don't want 'em. 00:03:53.213 --> 00:03:58.410 They're his marketroid posse people things. 00:03:58.413 --> 00:04:01.375 Now! Andrew! Your clients will be here in just a moment! 00:04:01.378 --> 00:04:02.291 [INTERCOM BEEPS] Leila? 00:04:02.294 --> 00:04:04.000 -Yes? -Aagh! Oh god! 00:04:04.714 --> 00:04:07.210 Um, uh, please, uh 00:04:07.213 --> 00:04:09.210 Let the Schwab folks in? Thanks. 00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:11.420 [BOSS SHUDDERS UNCOMFORTABLY] 00:04:12.210 --> 00:04:15.630 Anyway! Eddie! Your clients are waiting in the downstairs conference room! 00:04:15.633 --> 00:04:18.630 -We have a downstairs conference room? -We have a downstairs? 00:04:18.633 --> 00:04:24.630 So get those meetings going, team, and let's get ready for some marketing! 00:04:27.420 --> 00:04:30.210 So, you gentlemen are from MillerCoors? 00:04:30.420 --> 00:04:36.630 Yes. We'd like to expand the market of our Miller Lite premium reduced-calorie pilsner beverage 00:04:36.633 --> 00:04:39.420 To target consumers in the female demographic, 00:04:39.423 --> 00:04:44.210 But without compromising the brand's tried-and-true message of hyper-masculinity 00:04:44.213 --> 00:04:46.420 And misogynistic behavior. 00:04:47.420 --> 00:04:50.630 I…see. 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:53.840 Wow, Zac! Beer ads are misogynistic? 00:04:53.843 --> 00:04:57.840 That's so insightful¡ Nobody has ever made that observation before¡ 00:04:58.336 --> 00:05:03.000 Well, it's still happening, so obviously we need to keep pointing it out. 00:05:03.420 --> 00:05:06.420 Or you're an unoriginal, talentless hack. 00:05:07.210 --> 00:05:08.000 Yeah, that too. 00:05:09.420 --> 00:05:19.168 ♫Don't you wanna tell 'em what they really want? / Yeah, and don't you wanna tell 'em all where they should shop?♫ 00:05:19.171 --> 00:05:23.840 ♫And blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫ 00:05:24.420 --> 00:05:28.420 ♫Yeah, and blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫ 00:05:29.840 --> 00:05:40.420 ♫Yeah, and don't you wanna get yourself control of their minds / Yeah, and don't you wanna keep it till the end of time?♫ 00:05:40.423 --> 00:05:44.630 ♫And blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫ 00:05:45.420 --> 00:05:49.840 ♫Yeah, and blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫ 00:05:51.042 --> 00:05:56.504 ♫Well, it may be a lie and it may not make sense♫ 00:05:56.507 --> 00:06:00.000 ♫But it's bound to catch an eye or two♫ 00:06:11.210 --> 00:06:14.462 Is your wallet stuffed up and congested with money? 00:06:18.714 --> 00:06:24.250 But Sudafed has fast-acting high prices to unclog all that cash instantly! 00:06:24.253 --> 00:06:28.250 You can't get THAT kind of fast-acting power when you buy generic! 00:06:28.253 --> 00:06:33.250 Sudafed: Because "pseudoephedrine" is such a big word. 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:43.710 Look, asshole! You don't have any right to call me a pretentious yuppie douchebag! 00:06:43.713 --> 00:06:48.042 You're supposed to be a genius, so shut the fuck up and fix my god damn iPad! 00:06:49.756 --> 00:06:51.210 I'm not a douchebag. 00:06:54.330 --> 00:06:57.210 Okay, bitches! Everyone drop everything and come pay attention to me! 00:06:58.630 --> 00:07:02.000 -Uh, I was kinda busy working on-- -Shut up, diversity quota, nobody asked you. 00:07:02.504 --> 00:07:05.546 Now. Can someone remind me who the hell it was we were supposed to be meeting with? 00:07:05.549 --> 00:07:07.840 I honestly couldn't be bothered enough to pay attention. 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:10.000 It vas Charles Schwab, ze investment firm. 00:07:10.003 --> 00:07:13.000 I know that, you commie bastard! It was a rhetorical question! 00:07:13.003 --> 00:07:15.840 -No it vasn't! -Why are you still talking? 00:07:15.924 --> 00:07:19.000 Go get alcohol poisoning from vodka, or whatever you people do. 00:07:19.084 --> 00:07:22.630 Okay, Charles Schwab, uhhhh, what do they do, they let you buy stocks and shit, right? 00:07:24.336 --> 00:07:26.000 Anyone? Hello? 00:07:27.084 --> 00:07:29.168 -Are we allowed to answer? -Are you allowed to--? 00:07:29.171 --> 00:07:31.672 What the fuck kind of question is that?! Yes, you're allowed to answer! 00:07:31.675 --> 00:07:33.588 Why would I ask something if I didn't want an answer? 00:07:33.591 --> 00:07:37.210 -Because you ask rhetorical ques-- -THAT was another rhetorical question, dumbass! 00:07:37.213 --> 00:07:38.630 Jesus fucking christ, this guy… 00:07:38.633 --> 00:07:40.210 [DEEP BREATH] 00:07:40.213 --> 00:07:41.042 Oh my god! 00:07:41.045 --> 00:07:43.210 All right. Now is ANYBODY gonna answer my question? 00:07:43.630 --> 00:07:45.630 Yes, they let you buy stocks. 00:07:45.633 --> 00:07:49.042 -They're a stock broker. -I KNOW they let you buy stocks! I just SAID that! 00:07:49.045 --> 00:07:51.210 You people are FUCKING killing me today! 00:07:51.756 --> 00:07:54.210 I was asking: who's the demographic we're tryin' to reach? 00:07:54.213 --> 00:07:56.000 Nooooo you weren't. 00:07:56.003 --> 00:07:58.000 Excuse me, how do you know what I was asking? 00:07:58.003 --> 00:08:00.000 -Clearly I don't¡ -Are you inside my head? 00:08:00.003 --> 00:08:03.882 -No¡ -Do you have any understanding of my own personal thought processes that go on inside my brain? 00:08:03.885 --> 00:08:06.630 -Absolutely not¡ -No! You don't. So! 00:08:06.633 --> 00:08:08.924 You don't get to tell me what I was asking, because I, 00:08:08.927 --> 00:08:12.000 Of all people, would know exactly what that was, and YOU would not! 00:08:12.630 --> 00:08:14.210 Hey, uh, can I get by? 00:08:14.213 --> 00:08:15.210 Go around! 00:08:15.213 --> 00:08:17.630 I can't go around! My cubicle's right behind you guys! 00:08:17.633 --> 00:08:19.840 -So climb! -Wh-what? 00:08:19.843 --> 00:08:24.000 Now! Where was I before we were so RUDELY interrupted? 00:08:27.840 --> 00:08:30.210 -Uh, you vere… -Did I look like I was done talking?! 00:08:30.213 --> 00:08:34.966 Demographics! We need to reach upper middle-class professionals, 35 to 59. 00:08:34.969 --> 00:08:36.627 That's our market for Charles Schwab. 00:08:36.630 --> 00:08:39.420 The guys from Schwab said they wanted 18 to 34. 00:08:39.423 --> 00:08:41.000 They wanna reach more young people. 00:08:41.003 --> 00:08:43.000 Did I ask for your OPINION? 00:08:43.003 --> 00:08:46.630 That's the client's opinion! We're supposed to be doing what the client wants. 00:08:46.633 --> 00:08:48.420 [BLAKE SCREAMS; STUFF CRASHES] 00:08:48.423 --> 00:08:50.840 Okay, Janet, you know what? You know what?! 00:08:50.843 --> 00:08:53.840 You're not supposed to talk! Your job is to stand there 00:08:53.843 --> 00:08:56.840 And be a PAIR OF TITS for me to look at! Okay?! 00:08:57.420 --> 00:08:59.210 Uh…um… 00:09:01.630 --> 00:09:03.126 I just asked you a question! 00:09:03.129 --> 00:09:08.630 [COPY MACHINE BEEPS, WHIRRS] 00:09:08.633 --> 00:09:10.630 It came out a little bit blue, didn't it? 00:09:10.633 --> 00:09:13.000 It's fine. This is just a mock-up. 00:09:13.003 --> 00:09:14.840 Oh, yeah yeah yeah, right. 00:09:17.210 --> 00:09:19.336 So, did you get that thing with your apartment worked out? 00:09:19.339 --> 00:09:21.294 Oh, yeah, it's all fine now. 00:09:21.297 --> 00:09:26.630 I spent an hour on the phone with Con Ed, and they'd gotten a cancellation request or something? 00:09:26.633 --> 00:09:29.630 I don't know. It was so weird. 00:09:29.633 --> 00:09:33.210 But anyway, power's back on…landlord doesn't think I'm broke… 00:09:33.420 --> 00:09:38.000 I…have to replace a lot of what was in the refrigerator. 00:09:38.003 --> 00:09:40.000 Ugh, that sucks. I'm sorry. 00:09:40.003 --> 00:09:43.630 So, what, someone else just called them up and told them to cut your power off? 00:09:43.630 --> 00:09:45.630 -I guess so. -Who would do that? 00:09:45.633 --> 00:09:48.630 Well…Andrew, maybe. 00:09:48.840 --> 00:09:50.756 He likes to mess with my head. 00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:53.207 He'd be able to convince Con Ed that he lived at your apartment? 00:09:53.210 --> 00:09:58.000 -Ow! Uh, let's just not get into that. -Are you okay? 00:09:58.003 --> 00:09:59.627 Yeah, I'm fine. 00:09:59.630 --> 00:10:01.840 Hey! You guys remember Pepsi Nano? 00:10:01.843 --> 00:10:02.420 Yeah? 00:10:02.840 --> 00:10:04.840 Well, hehe, it got recalled. 00:10:05.294 --> 00:10:06.210 Really? 00:10:06.213 --> 00:10:09.417 Yeah, says here everybody who drank it got real sick. 00:10:09.420 --> 00:10:12.630 -There was even this one lady who needed a liver transpla-- -Heyyyy! Kevin! 00:10:12.633 --> 00:10:18.315 I totally think I might've a little bit sort of… 00:10:18.630 --> 00:10:20.840 -Brokenyourcomputer HEY! That looks great! -Wait, what? 00:10:20.843 --> 00:10:24.000 -Thank you! -Yeah, definitely diggin' the blood splatter on her skirt right there! 00:10:24.003 --> 00:10:27.210 -That's badass! -What blood spatter? -It looks so real, too! 00:10:27.213 --> 00:10:28.630 Hey, whatdja say about my computer?! 00:10:28.633 --> 00:10:30.210 Oh shit! I'm really bleeding! 00:10:30.213 --> 00:10:31.714 Whoa, you're using real blood in that? 00:10:31.717 --> 00:10:33.546 Damn, Leora, you're hardcore! 00:10:33.549 --> 00:10:36.504 Uh, do you need, like, a band-aid or somethin'? 00:10:36.507 --> 00:10:38.420 I think I need more than a… 00:10:38.423 --> 00:10:41.000 Uh, tissues! Get me some tissues! 00:10:41.210 --> 00:10:43.210 -Where are they? -Yo, what was that about breaking my computer? 00:10:43.213 --> 00:10:45.504 They're up on the shelf, with the thing! 00:10:45.507 --> 00:10:46.210 What thing? 00:10:46.213 --> 00:10:48.084 The thing on the shelf with the stuff! 00:10:48.087 --> 00:10:50.840 -You know, the thing! -Okay, I'm getting a little dizzy here. 00:10:50.843 --> 00:10:54.000 Well, howdy-ho, team! Looks like there's a change of plans! 00:10:54.003 --> 00:10:57.042 Kevin! You're on Team Andrew now! We're swapping you with Janet! 00:10:57.045 --> 00:10:59.756 Whoa, whoa, what? No! Why do I have to go there? [LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] 00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:01.924 Why can't we just have five people? [LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] 00:11:01.927 --> 00:11:03.210 He's already got a bajillion! [LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] 00:11:03.213 --> 00:11:05.630 Okay, what is she doing here? She's an accountant! 00:11:05.633 --> 00:11:07.252 I'm bleeding! What's happening?! 00:11:07.255 --> 00:11:09.294 Okay, Eddie, y'know the thing with the buttons? 00:11:09.297 --> 00:11:10.840 -The scanner? -Yeah, it's on that shelf! 00:11:10.843 --> 00:11:12.252 -Where? -Right next to it! 00:11:12.255 --> 00:11:14.294 Next to it whe--? Oh. Auggh! It's empty! 00:11:14.297 --> 00:11:16.756 What the HELL do you mean, it's empty?! 00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:20.210 Okay, I'm feeling really sleepy right now. 00:11:20.420 --> 00:11:22.840 I'm sure you'll all manage JUST fine with Janet here! 00:11:22.843 --> 00:11:24.546 Oh, wow! That's really nice, Leora! 00:11:24.549 --> 00:11:25.714 Has the client seen it yet? 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:27.000 [THUD] 00:11:44.504 --> 00:11:46.630 -Hey, are you okay from earli--? -I'm fine! 00:11:48.210 --> 00:11:50.420 Okay, I was just worried that-- 00:11:50.423 --> 00:11:52.210 You know what? I don't need your sympathy! 00:11:52.420 --> 00:11:55.420 I'm not trying to impress you, and I don't care what you think. 00:11:55.423 --> 00:11:59.420 And I don't appreciate you coming in here and disrupting the group dynamic 00:11:59.423 --> 00:12:02.420 That I have worked SO hard to maintain 00:12:02.630 --> 00:12:07.840 Which is NOT an easy thing to do when we have to breathe the same air as people like YOU all day! 00:12:07.843 --> 00:12:10.630 Punch THAT into your little spreadsheet, why don'tcha?¡ 00:12:11.740 --> 00:12:13.840 Geez, I was just tryin' to be nice. 00:12:14.420 --> 00:12:16.000 [SIGH] You're right. 00:12:16.798 --> 00:12:18.210 I apologize. 00:12:18.630 --> 00:12:22.840 But I don't want you stepping on our creative decisions. Okay? 00:12:23.714 --> 00:12:24.630 [EDDIE:] Have a seat, gentlemen. 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:28.997 So, we've planned this great campaign for you 00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:34.000 With some imagery that can be deployed in print, on billboards, on television, and on Facebook. 00:12:34.003 --> 00:12:35.630 [DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS] 00:12:35.633 --> 00:12:36.633 [CHAIR CREAKS] 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:38.840 Um…hi… 00:12:38.843 --> 00:12:41.378 Mark Zuckerberg. What are you doing here? 00:12:41.381 --> 00:12:42.501 Just chillin'. 00:12:42.504 --> 00:12:45.420 Ooookay, why are you here? 00:12:45.798 --> 00:12:48.630 Well, I heard you guys were gonna use Facebook, so I figured, y'know, I could just 00:12:48.633 --> 00:12:50.840 Like, swing by, hang out, it's all good, man! 00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:54.630 Uh, well…actually, this is a 00:12:54.633 --> 00:12:56.840 Business meeting, and it's supposed to be private. 00:12:56.843 --> 00:12:58.000 What, you got somethin' to hide? 00:12:58.003 --> 00:13:00.000 No! No! Not really! We just, uh, 00:13:00.003 --> 00:13:02.000 Appreciate a little, uh… 00:13:02.672 --> 00:13:04.840 This is just between us and our clients. 00:13:04.843 --> 00:13:06.210 Nah, don't worry, man! It's cool, it's cool. 00:13:06.213 --> 00:13:08.630 I mean, everybody has business meetings. Nothing to be ashamed of. 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:13.840 Right. Okay. I'm just gonna, uh… 00:13:14.420 --> 00:13:15.210 Okay. 00:13:15.630 --> 00:13:16.630 Gentlemen! 00:13:16.633 --> 00:13:19.840 You wanted to both sell to, and objectify, women at the same time. 00:13:19.843 --> 00:13:22.630 So! We have for you a campaign that 00:13:22.633 --> 00:13:26.000 To the Y chromosome, seems like a teenage fantasy 00:13:26.003 --> 00:13:29.420 But! To the X chromosome, empowers and emboldens! 00:13:29.423 --> 00:13:31.210 Allow us to introduce you to: 00:13:31.213 --> 00:13:33.126 Miller Lite! Kick some ass! 00:13:33.420 --> 00:13:37.630 We went with the "warrior princess" theme as a way to subvert the conventional 00:13:37.633 --> 00:13:39.210 "Barely-dressed woman" thing 00:13:39.213 --> 00:13:42.000 And in turn, use it not for sexualization 00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:43.840 But for female empowerment. 00:13:43.843 --> 00:13:46.210 But you need to, to, uh… 00:13:46.213 --> 00:13:49.000 To think about that a bit to really realize what it means. 00:13:49.420 --> 00:13:52.840 Because on the surface, your typical male base sees another hot girl 00:13:52.843 --> 00:13:55.543 But from a female perspective, it's, uh… 00:13:55.546 --> 00:13:57.840 It's all like, "You go, girl!" And stuff like that! 00:13:57.843 --> 00:13:59.630 -Oh yeah! -Exactly! 00:14:01.630 --> 00:14:03.336 So! What do ya think? 00:14:03.339 --> 00:14:04.840 -Crap! -Terrible! 00:14:04.843 --> 00:14:06.417 Unusable! 00:14:06.420 --> 00:14:09.840 What? Uh, okay, what are the, uhm… 00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:11.669 Issues we need to work on? 00:14:11.672 --> 00:14:14.042 It's not nearly misogynistic enough. 00:14:14.045 --> 00:14:18.210 In fact, I'd say it's not actually misogynistic at all! 00:14:19.420 --> 00:14:21.840 W-well, on one level, it is! 00:14:21.843 --> 00:14:24.840 Because, I mean, we're not even showing her face, right? 00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:27.630 And the word "ass" is in the slogan 00:14:27.633 --> 00:14:30.210 And we're focusing RIGHT on that 00:14:30.213 --> 00:14:33.630 And so it's definitely, absolutely 00:14:33.633 --> 00:14:35.417 SOMEWHAT degrading! 00:14:35.420 --> 00:14:37.210 But she has CLOTHING on! 00:14:38.840 --> 00:14:41.840 Uh…but, we uh… 00:14:41.843 --> 00:14:45.420 It's not really LEGAL in this country to show a, uh 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:47.921 Completely naked woman. 00:14:47.924 --> 00:14:52.210 Legal? We're a gigantic multinational corporation! 00:14:52.213 --> 00:14:54.420 You think we care what's LEGAL? 00:14:55.420 --> 00:14:58.000 Fix this! Fix this right now! 00:15:01.210 --> 00:15:02.210 Poke! 00:15:02.504 --> 00:15:05.924 You vant us to just cut ze whole thing? Zat's three days of vork down ze drain! 00:15:05.927 --> 00:15:07.294 Focus group didn't like it. Do it over. 00:15:07.297 --> 00:15:11.210 -Zat focus group vas full of twelve-year-olds! -Don't disparage the maturity of our demographic, dickflop! 00:15:11.213 --> 00:15:12.630 Customers are always right. 00:15:12.633 --> 00:15:15.000 No, it vas literally full of twelve-year-olds! 00:15:15.003 --> 00:15:17.420 -You gave it to ze wrong focus group! -Remember, people, by the numbers! 00:15:17.423 --> 00:15:19.420 Everything by the numbers! 00:15:20.210 --> 00:15:21.210 Are you working? 00:15:21.213 --> 00:15:23.630 I'm waiting on Andrew. He hasn't told me what we're doin' yet. 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:28.462 So…you're not working? You're not BUSY? 00:15:28.465 --> 00:15:30.630 You're just sitting around and doing NOTHING?! 00:15:30.840 --> 00:15:32.921 I…guess you could say that, yeah. 00:15:32.924 --> 00:15:35.630 Well, I'm not paying you to sit around and do nothing! 00:15:35.633 --> 00:15:37.840 You know who pays people to sit around and do nothing? 00:15:37.843 --> 00:15:39.294 The federal government! 00:15:39.297 --> 00:15:43.630 I worked for the US Census Bureau from 1991 to 1999 00:15:43.633 --> 00:15:46.420 And there wasn't a single day when they made us do anything! 00:15:46.423 --> 00:15:48.630 Well, I left there and said, "No more!" 00:15:48.633 --> 00:15:52.420 "My employees won't get paid to sit around n' do nothing like a bunch of government workers!" 00:15:52.423 --> 00:15:54.210 "I'm gonna make 'em DO things!" 00:15:54.630 --> 00:15:57.000 So…what should I do? 00:15:57.084 --> 00:15:58.084 Things! 00:15:59.420 --> 00:16:02.921 (♫Dun dun dun, like a boss! Dun dun dun, like a boss!♫) 00:16:02.924 --> 00:16:05.840 Hey, Andy! You got any THINGS for me to do? 00:16:06.546 --> 00:16:08.420 Things? Uh… 00:16:08.840 --> 00:16:11.420 Yeah! Actually, ah, now that I think about it 00:16:11.423 --> 00:16:12.630 You could, uh… 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:14.000 Sit down! 00:16:14.210 --> 00:16:15.420 Shut the fuck up! 00:16:15.423 --> 00:16:16.840 And buy me a new iPad! 00:16:16.843 --> 00:16:18.000 And you're payin'! 00:16:18.210 --> 00:16:20.420 Christ al-fuckin'-mighty. 00:16:21.210 --> 00:16:22.840 Listerine fights plaque! 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:25.504 And has the power to rid your mouth of biofilm! 00:16:25.507 --> 00:16:28.714 "Biofilm" is a fancy new word we found one day! 00:16:28.717 --> 00:16:30.627 It basically means plaque. 00:16:30.630 --> 00:16:34.126 Listerine! We have a thesaurus! 00:16:37.840 --> 00:16:39.840 I'm at a loss. What do we do now? 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:41.294 Maybe if we just, like 00:16:41.297 --> 00:16:43.210 Make it about her boobs instead! 00:16:43.213 --> 00:16:46.420 'Cause, y'know, guys have asses too, but 00:16:46.423 --> 00:16:49.756 They don't have boobs. Boobs are more, like, exclusively womanish! 00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:50.759 You get me? 00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:54.420 -Uh, I don't really-- -Oh! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, you're right! 00:16:54.423 --> 00:16:57.546 'Cause like, some guys, if they're like, really fat and stuff 00:16:57.549 --> 00:16:59.210 They have man-boobs, so 00:17:00.420 --> 00:17:03.420 I guess chicks don't really have a monippley on that either. 00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:06.000 WHAT?! 00:17:06.420 --> 00:17:08.630 Maybe we just need to give 'em what they wanna see. 00:17:09.210 --> 00:17:12.630 Janet, we DID what they asked for. They didn't like it. 00:17:12.633 --> 00:17:15.840 Right, so, don't give them what they asked for. Give them what they want. 00:17:15.843 --> 00:17:16.840 Take a look. 00:17:19.630 --> 00:17:22.000 -Uh… -Well… 00:17:22.003 --> 00:17:24.630 It's DEFINITELY more misogynistic. 00:17:24.633 --> 00:17:29.000 But I'm…kinda missing the part where it appeals to women. 00:17:29.084 --> 00:17:31.840 Well, clearly they have no idea what appeals to women. 00:17:31.843 --> 00:17:34.711 So we can just tell them that THIS does, and they'll believe us. 00:17:34.714 --> 00:17:37.417 But it doesn't! That would be lying! 00:17:37.420 --> 00:17:41.840 Yeah, I know. But look, the purpose of this exercise is to not be a dick to the client. 00:17:41.843 --> 00:17:45.420 That's it. We don't have to act in their best interest, we just have to be nice. 00:17:45.546 --> 00:17:48.210 That's not really what I was going for, though. 00:17:48.213 --> 00:17:53.000 Okay, look. There will be many, MANY opportunities in the future to advance the craft of advertising 00:17:53.003 --> 00:17:56.000 But this is not one of them. We can't win this battle 00:17:56.003 --> 00:17:59.210 So let's just make the client happy, and get them out the door 00:17:59.213 --> 00:18:01.420 So we can all move on to better things. 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:08.630 I'm not so sure I'm comfortable saying all this. 00:18:08.840 --> 00:18:12.000 I know. We don't like it any more than you do. 00:18:12.210 --> 00:18:15.630 Trust me, this is just a paycheck for me too. 00:18:15.633 --> 00:18:17.711 As soon as we're done here, I'm going straight to my priest. 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:18.840 [CLANG] 00:18:18.843 --> 00:18:19.420 [CLICK] 00:18:19.630 --> 00:18:21.924 Okay, this is Miller Lite, take one! 00:18:21.927 --> 00:18:22.630 [CLAP] 00:18:23.294 --> 00:18:24.210 [BLAKE:] Action! 00:18:24.213 --> 00:18:28.420 Listen, woman! I don't wanna hear your whining or your excuses! 00:18:28.630 --> 00:18:31.420 I don't want you to tell me about your FEELINGS, because the only 00:18:31.423 --> 00:18:33.000 FEELING you should be having is this 00:18:33.003 --> 00:18:35.630 Long hard thing pouring delicious liquid in your face! 00:18:36.630 --> 00:18:39.000 How many of you women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 00:18:39.840 --> 00:18:40.420 None! 00:18:40.756 --> 00:18:42.630 You can cook my steak in the dark! 00:18:43.210 --> 00:18:46.000 Miller Lite! Drink it, bitch! 00:18:48.630 --> 00:18:51.000 You see? It speaks directly to women! 00:18:51.840 --> 00:18:54.420 -Amazing! -It's genius! 00:18:54.423 --> 00:18:57.000 The female demographic will eat this up! 00:18:57.003 --> 00:18:59.630 Wait! What did the focus group think? 00:19:00.210 --> 00:19:02.210 So! What do you guys think? 00:19:02.213 --> 00:19:04.000 Durrrrr, there's too much motion blur! 00:19:04.630 --> 00:19:05.840 They LOVED it! 00:19:05.843 --> 00:19:07.588 Then so do we! 00:19:17.336 --> 00:19:20.000 My ad campaign is better than your ad campaign! 00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:23.840 -You haven't even SEEN mine! -I don't have to! 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:28.126 Could you NOT invade my personal space in the men's room? 00:19:28.129 --> 00:19:32.000 The boss is gonna see for sure that you know NOTHING about advertising! 00:19:32.546 --> 00:19:36.000 Why do you have to be such a massive DICK all the time? 00:19:36.084 --> 00:19:37.210 To be ironic? 00:19:37.213 --> 00:19:39.210 Because it gets results! 00:19:39.630 --> 00:19:41.630 You know what they say, Edward. 00:19:41.630 --> 00:19:44.210 Nice guys finish last. 00:19:45.924 --> 00:19:48.630 Yeah, that's why I can please a woman better than YOU can! 00:19:52.840 --> 00:19:53.840 [SHARP BREATH] 00:19:59.420 --> 00:20:00.630 [UNDOING BELT, UNZIPPING PANTS] 00:20:02.630 --> 00:20:04.840 Wha?! Mark Zuckerberg?! 00:20:04.843 --> 00:20:06.840 -What the hell are you doing? -Hey, man, what's up? 00:20:06.843 --> 00:20:09.126 -G-get out of here! -What, you got somethin' to hide? 00:20:09.129 --> 00:20:11.840 I'm USING the TOILET! 00:20:11.840 --> 00:20:13.420 Nah, don't worry, man! It's cool, it's cool. 00:20:13.423 --> 00:20:15.420 I mean, everybody takes a shit, nothin' to be ashamed of. 00:20:15.423 --> 00:20:16.420 Wh-- g-- g-get out! 00:20:16.423 --> 00:20:17.756 Whoa whoa whoa whoa, hold that pose! 00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:18.840 [CAMERA SHUTTER] 00:20:19.840 --> 00:20:21.210 I like this! 00:20:27.420 --> 00:20:30.420 Honestly, I don't get that drunk! Alcohol just literally goes right through me! 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:32.000 [WAITRESS SCREAMS] 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:36.420 So, how'd it all go with Miss Robo-Zombie-Accountant-Lady? [PHONE RINGS] 00:20:36.630 --> 00:20:40.210 -[EDDIE:] Not bad, actually. -[BLAKE:] Yeah, she pretty much came up with the whole idea herself. 00:20:40.420 --> 00:20:41.840 Huh. Great¡ 00:20:42.210 --> 00:20:44.420 No, it was actually, uh… 00:20:44.423 --> 00:20:47.000 Well, it was horribly offensive 00:20:47.003 --> 00:20:49.630 And I'm ashamed to have been associated with it 00:20:49.633 --> 00:20:52.840 But from a creative standpoint, it was 00:20:53.210 --> 00:20:55.000 Pretty well thought out. 00:20:55.003 --> 00:20:57.420 Psh. Yeah, right¡ From a fuckin' accountant¡ 00:20:57.423 --> 00:20:59.630 Don't let her fool ya. They're all just like Andrew. 00:20:59.633 --> 00:21:02.000 I…thought so too. 00:21:02.003 --> 00:21:03.840 But maybe not. 00:21:04.210 --> 00:21:07.000 No. No way. Anybody who takes orders from Andy's got [PHONE BLEEPS] 00:21:07.003 --> 00:21:10.210 Nothin' inside of 'em. No fuckin' soul, no nothin' at all. 00:21:10.213 --> 00:21:12.420 [EDDIE:] Well, you WERE working under him. 00:21:12.423 --> 00:21:16.000 [KEVIN:] I didn't do SHIT for him! Anything he said to me, I was just like 00:21:16.003 --> 00:21:17.000 [KEVIN:] Fuck you! No! 00:21:17.003 --> 00:21:18.630 Well, that's mature¡ 00:21:18.633 --> 00:21:20.420 What do you mean, "that's mature"?! 00:21:20.423 --> 00:21:23.000 This is Andy we're talkin' about. It's the only way to deal with 'im! 00:21:23.630 --> 00:21:27.210 Or perhaps…it's the only way you've tried. 00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:32.840 T--Tommy? 00:21:32.843 --> 00:21:34.252 Dude! What's up? 00:21:34.255 --> 00:21:38.420 The thumbtack is still your brother, but he has forgotten that. 00:21:38.423 --> 00:21:40.420 He wishes to fight you 00:21:40.423 --> 00:21:43.840 But you must remind him that you are all of the same blood. 00:21:44.210 --> 00:21:47.630 You are all human beings. And therefore 00:21:47.633 --> 00:21:50.630 You are all fightin' for the same thing. 00:21:51.630 --> 00:21:53.420 Tommy, this is Eddie. 00:21:53.423 --> 00:21:55.840 The boss brought him in to replace y-- 00:21:56.210 --> 00:21:57.840 Well-- 00:21:57.843 --> 00:22:01.000 Not that ANYONE could replace you. 00:22:01.042 --> 00:22:02.630 Well met, brother Eddie. 00:22:03.126 --> 00:22:07.420 I sense your strength, your resolve, and your compassion. 00:22:07.840 --> 00:22:09.840 These are powerful qualities. 00:22:10.210 --> 00:22:13.420 Your brothers and sister are lucky to have you. 00:22:13.630 --> 00:22:15.000 T-thank you, sir. 00:22:16.630 --> 00:22:21.210 The thumbtack shall resent you and sabotage you, but do not fight him, brother. 00:22:21.420 --> 00:22:23.000 Show him the way. 00:22:23.210 --> 00:22:26.630 I've been tryin', Tommy. I've been tryin' for so long! 00:22:26.633 --> 00:22:28.210 I don't think it's possible! 00:22:28.504 --> 00:22:30.840 You must take another path, brother Kevin. 00:22:31.462 --> 00:22:34.630 Perhaps brother Eddie will show you the way as well. 00:22:35.840 --> 00:22:37.840 Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah. 00:22:46.210 --> 00:22:47.210 Hey. 00:22:47.840 --> 00:22:48.840 Hey. 00:22:50.630 --> 00:22:53.000 I'm sorry for being, uh… 00:22:53.630 --> 00:22:57.210 Not so nice to you. For the past week. 00:22:57.213 --> 00:22:58.630 Don't worry about it. 00:22:58.633 --> 00:23:00.630 I'm really embarrassed. 00:23:00.633 --> 00:23:01.840 It's okay. Don't worry. 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:03.840 No. Look. I just-- 00:23:04.630 --> 00:23:06.210 I wasn't myself. 00:23:06.840 --> 00:23:08.210 I don't do that. 00:23:08.213 --> 00:23:09.840 I don't act like that. 00:23:09.843 --> 00:23:11.210 Most of the time. 00:23:11.336 --> 00:23:14.210 Well, I kinda walked in on you while you were bleedin' to death, honey. 00:23:14.213 --> 00:23:16.210 Don't sweat it. We all have our bad days. 00:23:16.210 --> 00:23:17.210 Weeks. 00:23:17.840 --> 00:23:18.840 Weeks. 00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:21.000 So… 00:23:21.210 --> 00:23:24.420 What was it that made you want to, uh… 00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:26.210 Switch sides? 00:23:26.840 --> 00:23:28.210 You know that guy in our ad? 00:23:29.126 --> 00:23:32.000 Well, let's just say he was inspired by a real person. 00:23:32.630 --> 00:23:33.630 Oh! 00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:35.000 Yeah. 00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:40.000 Yeah, I can see that. [LAUGHS] 00:23:41.420 --> 00:23:44.840 So, would you maybe want to, uh… 00:23:45.840 --> 00:23:47.630 Play on our team a bit more? 00:23:47.840 --> 00:23:51.210 It was fun, but I gotta stick by my compatriots. 00:23:51.213 --> 00:23:54.000 I'm sort of the, uh, one-girl support group for everyone. 00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:55.420 If that makes sense. 00:23:56.630 --> 00:23:59.630 I know EXACTLY what you mean. 00:23:59.756 --> 00:24:02.000 Okay, team! The results are in! 00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:03.840 Team Edward made us… 00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:07.210 Nine hundred thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven dollars! 00:24:07.210 --> 00:24:09.000 And Team Andrew made us… 00:24:09.420 --> 00:24:12.420 Nine hundred thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven dollars! 00:24:12.420 --> 00:24:14.420 It's a tie! Congratulations! 00:24:14.423 --> 00:24:15.630 Everybody wins! 00:24:15.633 --> 00:24:19.000 Wait! What about how satisfied the clients were? 00:24:19.210 --> 00:24:20.840 What about what about WHAT now?! 00:24:20.843 --> 00:24:23.630 The clients! Were they satisfied? Do they hate us? 00:24:23.633 --> 00:24:26.630 Are they gonna tell everybody that we suck and not to do business with us? 00:24:27.210 --> 00:24:30.420 Huh. I…didn't ask. 00:24:31.420 --> 00:24:35.210 Boss, that was the entire reason we were doing all of this! 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:36.630 Oh. 00:24:37.630 --> 00:24:39.210 Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll… 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:41.000 Fuck. 00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:43.000 Who wants lunch? 00:24:44.420 --> 00:24:49.000 Hey, thanks for watching. We need your support to make more episodes of Your Face is a Saxophone 00:24:49.003 --> 00:24:50.840 And to keep them free of charge and free of ads 00:24:50.843 --> 00:24:53.630 All of these people you see in the credits gave a little bit of their time 00:24:53.633 --> 00:24:57.000 Or their money to make this episode possible, and you can be one of them too. 00:24:57.003 --> 00:25:01.000 You can help us prove that great TV shows don't need to shove commercials in your face to cover their costs. 00:25:01.003 --> 00:25:05.420 We don't want to make a show to please our corporate sponsors, we want to make it for our fans. You guys. 00:25:05.423 --> 00:25:08.840 So go to yfias.com/donate to become a producer of the show 00:25:08.843 --> 00:25:11.210 Or yfias.com/volunteer to see how else you can help 00:25:11.213 --> 00:25:13.210 And follow us on Twitter: @Plankhead 00:25:13.213 --> 00:25:16.000 Or go to yfias.com and click "Get Email Updates" 00:25:16.003 --> 00:25:18.210 To keep track of the show and see what's going on with it. 00:25:18.213 --> 00:25:21.630 So, thanks again. I'm Zacqary Adam Green, the creator of Your Face is a Saxophone 00:25:21.630 --> 00:25:23.000 And you're awesome!