[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:02.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Previously on Your Face is a Saxophone
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.63,0:00:09.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look, Boss, Andrew is, uh, enthusiastic, but things just really haven't been the same since we lost Tommy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.38,0:00:10.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Hi, Eddie?\N-Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.63,0:00:11.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you're the new Tommy?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.63,0:00:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, dude, you gotta check this out, look look look, check it out, check it out, bro.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.00,0:00:15.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It means "awesome" in Asian.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.80,0:00:22.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm the big man around here! I make the decisions! And I get the big, fat bonus at the end of the fiscal year!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.71,0:00:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Andrew is a prick.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.84,0:00:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your cut is...zero dollars and zero cents, Mr. Boulder!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.00,0:00:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go die in a fire.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.21,0:00:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is not the kind of reputation we should be spreading!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.42,0:00:32.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you have a better idea, dick-smack?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.21,0:00:34.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do! We should be nice to people!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.04,0:00:36.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How 'bout we A/B this?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.17,0:00:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'll go with your strategy, then with Andrew's strategy, and see what the data says.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.84,0:00:42.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're goin' DOWN, bitch!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.26,0:00:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have a three-inch penis.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.55,0:01:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey! Pap smear! Send me that CPM report from yesterday!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.38,0:01:14.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Normally, I'd just ignore you, but…
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.88,0:01:16.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,WHAT did you call me?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.63,0:01:18.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I said it. Anyway!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.08,0:01:19.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,CPM report! Email it! Chop chop!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.00,0:01:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's on the server! Get it yourself!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.00,0:01:26.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh huh. Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.00,0:01:30.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So. Hey. You wanna get dinner tonight?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.08,0:01:34.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't there a sexual harassment policy in this office?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.00,0:01:37.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Geez! I'm just askin' if you wanna get dinner.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.63,0:01:42.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have asked me that EVERY single day since I broke up with you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.63,0:01:45.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And EVERY single time, I have responded
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.84,0:01:49.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With some permutation of "Go fuck yourself!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.63,0:01:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why don't you use your chart-making skills and analyze that trend?¡
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.63,0:01:58.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So…you wanna get dinner?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.63,0:02:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanna stab you in the testicles.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.25,0:02:03.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Helvetica's totally better than Myriad!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.08,0:02:05.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you kidding? It's boring. Everyone uses it now.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.63,0:02:08.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, why do think everyone uses it? 'Cause it's awesome!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.21,0:02:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's cliché. And besides, it's all bland and square-y and…
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.00,0:02:13.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know, it's just too Grotesque for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.84,0:02:17.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-It's not gross! How is it gross? It's not gross at all!\N-Blake! Get back to work!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.63,0:02:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have any work! You haven't given us a project yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.84,0:02:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't look busy! Employees are supposed to look busy!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.00,0:02:25.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-B-b-but I--\N-No buts! I'm a boss! I'm acting like a boss! Go act like you're busy!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.34,0:02:26.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aww…
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.38,0:02:29.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eddie! Are you working? Are you hard at work?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.21,0:02:31.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, we don't have a project yet, so actually I'm just --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.63,0:02:33.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You look like you're working! Keep up the good work!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.63,0:02:38.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey! There we go!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.71,0:02:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[BOSS:] Leora! Are you working?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.38,0:02:44.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hellllllo there!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.59,0:02:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Ow!\N-Sorry!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.21,0:02:52.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, team! I'm glad we all had such a productive morning!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.63,0:02:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We didn't do anything, Boss. There wasn't anything to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.42,0:02:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it got done in record time! Give yourselves a hand!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.84,0:03:07.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you may remember on Friday, we decided to have a little bit of a shooooooowdooooooown!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.42,0:03:10.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[CRICKETS CHIRP]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.42,0:03:13.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So! Conveniently enough, we have two new clients who need us to
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.84,0:03:17.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amplify their brand experience with engaging and relevant content!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.21,0:03:21.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a perfect opportunity for us to see which strategy is the most breakthrough at leveraging influencers
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.93,0:03:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And igniting organic conversations!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.29,0:03:26.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the fuck does that mean?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.08,0:03:29.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think he's talking about me versus Andrew, somehow.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.00,0:03:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First order of business: teams!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.84,0:03:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this corner: Edward Tungsten-Cohen!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.00,0:03:39.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And his team members: Kevin, Leora, and Blake!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.21,0:03:41.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All right! I'm on Team Edward!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.63,0:03:44.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in this corner! Andrew Sholes!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.63,0:03:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And his team members:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.00,0:03:49.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Janet, Michael, Robert, Puneet, Philip, Jason, Ivan, Marty, Kirk!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.34,0:03:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait! Why does he get more people than me?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.88,0:03:53.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't want 'em.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.21,0:03:58.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're his marketroid posse people things.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.41,0:04:01.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now! Andrew! Your clients will be here in just a moment!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.38,0:04:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[INTERCOM BEEPS] Leila?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.29,0:04:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yes?\N-Aagh! Oh god!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.71,0:04:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, uh, please, uh
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.21,0:04:09.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let the Schwab folks in? Thanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.84,0:04:11.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[BOSS SHUDDERS UNCOMFORTABLY]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.21,0:04:15.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway! Eddie! Your clients are waiting in the downstairs conference room!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.63,0:04:18.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-We have a downstairs conference room?\N-We have a downstairs?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.63,0:04:24.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So get those meetings going, team, and let's get ready for some marketing!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.42,0:04:30.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, you gentlemen are from MillerCoors?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.42,0:04:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. We'd like to expand the market of our Miller Lite premium reduced-calorie pilsner beverage
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.63,0:04:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To target consumers in the female demographic,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.42,0:04:44.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But without compromising the brand's tried-and-true message of hyper-masculinity
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.21,0:04:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And misogynistic behavior.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.42,0:04:50.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I…see.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.00,0:04:53.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, Zac! Beer ads are misogynistic?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.84,0:04:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's so insightful¡ Nobody has ever made that observation before¡
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.34,0:05:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it's still happening, so obviously we need to keep pointing it out.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.42,0:05:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or you're an unoriginal, talentless hack.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.21,0:05:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, that too.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.42,0:05:19.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫Don't you wanna tell 'em what they really want? / Yeah, and don't you wanna tell 'em all where they should shop?♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.17,0:05:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫And blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.42,0:05:28.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫Yeah, and blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.84,0:05:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫Yeah, and don't you wanna get yourself control of their minds / Yeah, and don't you wanna keep it till the end of time?♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.42,0:05:44.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫And blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.42,0:05:49.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫Yeah, and blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.04,0:05:56.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫Well, it may be a lie and it may not make sense♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.51,0:06:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫But it's bound to catch an eye or two♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.21,0:06:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is your wallet stuffed up and congested with money?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.71,0:06:24.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Sudafed has fast-acting high prices to unclog all that cash instantly!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.25,0:06:28.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't get THAT kind of fast-acting power when you buy generic!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.25,0:06:33.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sudafed: Because "pseudoephedrine" is such a big word.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.00,0:06:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look, asshole! You don't have any right to call me a pretentious yuppie douchebag!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.71,0:06:48.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're supposed to be a genius, so shut the fuck up and fix my god damn iPad!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.76,0:06:51.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not a douchebag.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.33,0:06:57.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, bitches! Everyone drop everything and come pay attention to me!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.63,0:07:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Uh, I was kinda busy working on--\N-Shut up, diversity quota, nobody asked you.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.50,0:07:05.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now. Can someone remind me who the hell it was we were supposed to be meeting with?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.55,0:07:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I honestly couldn't be bothered enough to pay attention.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.00,0:07:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It vas Charles Schwab, ze investment firm.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.00,0:07:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that, you commie bastard! It was a rhetorical question!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.00,0:07:15.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-No it vasn't!\N-Why are you still talking?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.92,0:07:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go get alcohol poisoning from vodka, or whatever you people do.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.08,0:07:22.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, Charles Schwab, uhhhh, what do they do, they let you buy stocks and shit, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.34,0:07:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyone? Hello?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.08,0:07:29.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Are we allowed to answer?\N-Are you allowed to--?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.17,0:07:31.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the fuck kind of question is that?! Yes, you're allowed to answer!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.68,0:07:33.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why would I ask something if I didn't want an answer?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.59,0:07:37.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Because you ask rhetorical ques--\N-THAT was another rhetorical question, dumbass!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.21,0:07:38.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jesus fucking christ, this guy…
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.63,0:07:40.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[DEEP BREATH]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.21,0:07:41.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my god!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.04,0:07:43.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All right. Now is ANYBODY gonna answer my question?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.63,0:07:45.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, they let you buy stocks.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.63,0:07:49.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-They're a stock broker.\N-I KNOW they let you buy stocks! I just SAID that!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.04,0:07:51.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You people are FUCKING killing me today!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.76,0:07:54.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was asking: who's the demographic we're tryin' to reach?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.21,0:07:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nooooo you weren't.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.00,0:07:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Excuse me, how do you know what I was asking?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.00,0:08:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Clearly I don't¡\N-Are you inside my head?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.00,0:08:03.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-No¡\N-Do you have any understanding of my own personal thought processes that go on inside my brain?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.88,0:08:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Absolutely not¡\N-No! You don't. So!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.63,0:08:08.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't get to tell me what I was asking, because I,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.93,0:08:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of all people, would know exactly what that was, and YOU would not!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.63,0:08:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, uh, can I get by?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.21,0:08:15.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go around!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.21,0:08:17.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't go around! My cubicle's right behind you guys!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.63,0:08:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-So climb!\N-Wh-what?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.84,0:08:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now! Where was I before we were so RUDELY interrupted?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.84,0:08:30.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Uh, you vere…\N-Did I look like I was done talking?!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.21,0:08:34.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Demographics! We need to reach upper middle-class professionals, 35 to 59.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.97,0:08:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's our market for Charles Schwab.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.63,0:08:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guys from Schwab said they wanted 18 to 34.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.42,0:08:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They wanna reach more young people.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.00,0:08:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did I ask for your OPINION?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.00,0:08:46.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the client's opinion! We're supposed to be doing what the client wants.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.63,0:08:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[BLAKE SCREAMS; STUFF CRASHES]
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.42,0:08:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, Janet, you know what? You know what?!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.84,0:08:53.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're not supposed to talk! Your job is to stand there
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.84,0:08:56.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And be a PAIR OF TITS for me to look at! Okay?!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.42,0:08:59.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh…um…
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.63,0:09:03.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just asked you a question!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.13,0:09:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[COPY MACHINE BEEPS, WHIRRS]
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.63,0:09:10.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It came out a little bit blue, didn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.63,0:09:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's fine. This is just a mock-up.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.00,0:09:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, yeah yeah yeah, right.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.21,0:09:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, did you get that thing with your apartment worked out?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.34,0:09:21.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, yeah, it's all fine now.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.30,0:09:26.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I spent an hour on the phone with Con Ed, and they'd gotten a cancellation request or something?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.63,0:09:29.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know. It was so weird.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.63,0:09:33.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But anyway, power's back on…landlord doesn't think I'm broke…
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.42,0:09:38.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I…have to replace a lot of what was in the refrigerator.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.00,0:09:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ugh, that sucks. I'm sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.00,0:09:43.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what, someone else just called them up and told them to cut your power off?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.63,0:09:45.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I guess so.\N-Who would do that?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.63,0:09:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well…Andrew, maybe.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.84,0:09:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He likes to mess with my head.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.76,0:09:53.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd be able to convince Con Ed that he lived at your apartment?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.21,0:09:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Ow! Uh, let's just not get into that.\N-Are you okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.00,0:09:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I'm fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.63,0:10:01.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey! You guys remember Pepsi Nano?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.84,0:10:02.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.84,0:10:04.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, hehe, it got recalled.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.29,0:10:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.21,0:10:09.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, says here everybody who drank it got real sick.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.42,0:10:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-There was even this one lady who needed a liver transpla--\N-Heyyyy! Kevin!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.63,0:10:18.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I totally think I might've a little bit sort of…
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.63,0:10:20.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Brokenyourcomputer HEY! That looks great!\N-Wait, what?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.84,0:10:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Thank you!\N-Yeah, definitely diggin' the blood splatter on her skirt right there!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.00,0:10:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-That's badass!\N-What blood spatter?\N-It looks so real, too!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.21,0:10:28.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, whatdja say about my computer?!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.63,0:10:30.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh shit! I'm really bleeding!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.21,0:10:31.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoa, you're using real blood in that?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.72,0:10:33.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Damn, Leora, you're hardcore!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.55,0:10:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, do you need, like, a band-aid or somethin'?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.51,0:10:38.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think I need more than a…
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.42,0:10:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, tissues! Get me some tissues!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.21,0:10:43.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Where are they?\N-Yo, what was that about breaking my computer?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.21,0:10:45.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're up on the shelf, with the thing!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.51,0:10:46.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What thing?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.21,0:10:48.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The thing on the shelf with the stuff!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.09,0:10:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-You know, the thing!\N-Okay, I'm getting a little dizzy here.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.84,0:10:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, howdy-ho, team! Looks like there's a change of plans!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.00,0:10:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kevin! You're on Team Andrew now! We're swapping you with Janet!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.04,0:10:59.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoa, whoa, what? No! Why do I have to go there?\N[LEORA HYPERVENTILATES]
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.76,0:11:01.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why can't we just have five people?\N[LEORA HYPERVENTILATES]
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.93,0:11:03.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's already got a bajillion!\N[LEORA HYPERVENTILATES]
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.21,0:11:05.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, what is she doing here? She's an accountant!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.63,0:11:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm bleeding! What's happening?!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.26,0:11:09.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, Eddie, y'know the thing with the buttons?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.30,0:11:10.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-The scanner?\N-Yeah, it's on that shelf!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.84,0:11:12.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Where?\N-Right next to it!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.26,0:11:14.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next to it whe--? Oh. Auggh! It's empty!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.30,0:11:16.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the HELL do you mean, it's empty?!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.76,0:11:20.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, I'm feeling really sleepy right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.42,0:11:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure you'll all manage JUST fine with Janet here!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.84,0:11:24.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, wow! That's really nice, Leora!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.55,0:11:25.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Has the client seen it yet?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.00,0:11:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[THUD]
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.50,0:11:46.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Hey, are you okay from earli--?\N-I'm fine!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.21,0:11:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, I was just worried that--
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.42,0:11:52.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what? I don't need your sympathy!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.42,0:11:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not trying to impress you, and I don't care what you think.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.42,0:11:59.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I don't appreciate you coming in here and disrupting the group dynamic
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.42,0:12:02.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That I have worked SO hard to maintain
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.63,0:12:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is NOT an easy thing to do when we have to breathe the same air as people like YOU all day!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.84,0:12:10.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Punch THAT into your little spreadsheet, why don'tcha?¡
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.74,0:12:13.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Geez, I was just tryin' to be nice.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.42,0:12:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[SIGH] You're right.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.80,0:12:18.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I apologize.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.63,0:12:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I don't want you stepping on our creative decisions. Okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.71,0:12:24.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[EDDIE:] Have a seat, gentlemen.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.00,0:12:28.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, we've planned this great campaign for you
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.00,0:12:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With some imagery that can be deployed in print, on billboards, on television, and on Facebook.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.00,0:12:35.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS]
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.63,0:12:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[CHAIR CREAKS]
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.00,0:12:38.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um…hi…
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.84,0:12:41.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mark Zuckerberg. What are you doing here?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.38,0:12:42.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just chillin'.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.50,0:12:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooookay, why are you here?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.80,0:12:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I heard you guys were gonna use Facebook, so I figured, y'know, I could just
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.63,0:12:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, swing by, hang out, it's all good, man!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.00,0:12:54.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, well…actually, this is a
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.63,0:12:56.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Business meeting, and it's supposed to be private.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.84,0:12:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What, you got somethin' to hide?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.00,0:13:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No! No! Not really! We just, uh,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.00,0:13:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Appreciate a little, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.67,0:13:04.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is just between us and our clients.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.84,0:13:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nah, don't worry, man! It's cool, it's cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.21,0:13:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, everybody has business meetings. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.00,0:13:13.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right. Okay. I'm just gonna, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.42,0:13:15.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.63,0:13:16.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gentlemen!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.63,0:13:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You wanted to both sell to, and objectify, women at the same time.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.84,0:13:22.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So! We have for you a campaign that
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.63,0:13:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To the Y chromosome, seems like a teenage fantasy
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.00,0:13:29.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But! To the X chromosome, empowers and emboldens!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.42,0:13:31.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Allow us to introduce you to:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.21,0:13:33.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Miller Lite! Kick some ass!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.42,0:13:37.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We went with the "warrior princess" theme as a way to subvert the conventional
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.63,0:13:39.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Barely-dressed woman" thing
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.21,0:13:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in turn, use it not for sexualization
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.00,0:13:43.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for female empowerment.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.84,0:13:46.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you need to, to, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.21,0:13:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To think about that a bit to really realize what it means.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.42,0:13:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because on the surface, your typical male base sees another hot girl
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.84,0:13:55.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But from a female perspective, it's, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.55,0:13:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's all like, "You go, girl!" And stuff like that!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.84,0:13:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh yeah!\N-Exactly!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.63,0:14:03.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So! What do ya think?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.34,0:14:04.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Crap!\N-Terrible!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.84,0:14:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unusable!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.42,0:14:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What? Uh, okay, what are the, uhm…
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.00,0:14:11.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Issues we need to work on?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.67,0:14:14.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not nearly misogynistic enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.04,0:14:18.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, I'd say it's not actually misogynistic at all!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.42,0:14:21.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,W-well, on one level, it is!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.84,0:14:24.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because, I mean, we're not even showing her face, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.00,0:14:27.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the word "ass" is in the slogan
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.63,0:14:30.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we're focusing RIGHT on that
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.21,0:14:33.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so it's definitely, absolutely
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.63,0:14:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SOMEWHAT degrading!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.42,0:14:37.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But she has CLOTHING on!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.84,0:14:41.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh…but, we uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.84,0:14:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not really LEGAL in this country to show a, uh
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.00,0:14:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Completely naked woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.92,0:14:52.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Legal? We're a gigantic multinational corporation!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:52.21,0:14:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You think we care what's LEGAL?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.42,0:14:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fix this! Fix this right now!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.21,0:15:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Poke!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.50,0:15:05.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You vant us to just cut ze whole thing? Zat's three days of vork down ze drain!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.93,0:15:07.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Focus group didn't like it. Do it over.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.30,0:15:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Zat focus group vas full of twelve-year-olds!\N-Don't disparage the maturity of our demographic, dickflop!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.21,0:15:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Customers are always right.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.63,0:15:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it vas literally full of twelve-year-olds!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.00,0:15:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-You gave it to ze wrong focus group!\N-Remember, people, by the numbers!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.42,0:15:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything by the numbers!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.21,0:15:21.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you working?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.21,0:15:23.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm waiting on Andrew. He hasn't told me what we're doin' yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.84,0:15:28.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So…you're not working? You're not BUSY?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.46,0:15:30.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're just sitting around and doing NOTHING?!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.84,0:15:32.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I…guess you could say that, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:32.92,0:15:35.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I'm not paying you to sit around and do nothing!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.63,0:15:37.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know who pays people to sit around and do nothing?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.84,0:15:39.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The federal government!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.30,0:15:43.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I worked for the US Census Bureau from 1991 to 1999
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.63,0:15:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there wasn't a single day when they made us do anything!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.42,0:15:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I left there and said, "No more!"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.63,0:15:52.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My employees won't get paid to sit around n' do nothing like a bunch of government workers!"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.42,0:15:54.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm gonna make 'em DO things!"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.63,0:15:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So…what should I do?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.08,0:15:58.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Things!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.42,0:16:02.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(♫Dun dun dun, like a boss! Dun dun dun, like a boss!♫)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.92,0:16:05.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, Andy! You got any THINGS for me to do?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.55,0:16:08.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Things? Uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.84,0:16:11.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah! Actually, ah, now that I think about it
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.42,0:16:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.00,0:16:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sit down!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.21,0:16:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shut the fuck up!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.42,0:16:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And buy me a new iPad!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:16.84,0:16:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're payin'!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.21,0:16:20.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Christ al-fuckin'-mighty.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.21,0:16:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Listerine fights plaque!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.00,0:16:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And has the power to rid your mouth of biofilm!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.51,0:16:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Biofilm" is a fancy new word we found one day!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.72,0:16:30.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It basically means plaque.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.63,0:16:34.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Listerine! We have a thesaurus!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.84,0:16:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm at a loss. What do we do now?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.00,0:16:41.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe if we just, like
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.30,0:16:43.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Make it about her boobs instead!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.21,0:16:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause, y'know, guys have asses too, but
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.42,0:16:49.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't have boobs. Boobs are more, like, exclusively womanish!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.76,0:16:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You get me?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.84,0:16:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Uh, I don't really--\N-Oh! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, you're right!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:54.42,0:16:57.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause like, some guys, if they're like, really fat and stuff
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.55,0:16:59.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have man-boobs, so
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.42,0:17:03.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess chicks don't really have a monippley on that either.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.00,0:17:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,WHAT?!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:06.42,0:17:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe we just need to give 'em what they wanna see.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.21,0:17:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Janet, we DID what they asked for. They didn't like it.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.63,0:17:15.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, so, don't give them what they asked for. Give them what they want.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:15.84,0:17:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take a look.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.63,0:17:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Uh…\N-Well…
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.00,0:17:24.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's DEFINITELY more misogynistic.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:24.63,0:17:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm…kinda missing the part where it appeals to women.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:29.08,0:17:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, clearly they have no idea what appeals to women.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.84,0:17:34.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we can just tell them that THIS does, and they'll believe us.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.71,0:17:37.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it doesn't! That would be lying!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:37.42,0:17:41.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I know. But look, the purpose of this exercise is to not be a dick to the client.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:41.84,0:17:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's it. We don't have to act in their best interest, we just have to be nice.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:45.55,0:17:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's not really what I was going for, though.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.21,0:17:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, look. There will be many, MANY opportunities in the future to advance the craft of advertising
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.00,0:17:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this is not one of them. We can't win this battle
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.00,0:17:59.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let's just make the client happy, and get them out the door
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.21,0:18:01.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we can all move on to better things.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:06.00,0:18:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not so sure I'm comfortable saying all this.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:08.84,0:18:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know. We don't like it any more than you do.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:12.21,0:18:15.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust me, this is just a paycheck for me too.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:15.63,0:18:17.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As soon as we're done here, I'm going straight to my priest.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:18.00,0:18:18.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[CLANG]
Dialogue: 0,0:18:18.84,0:18:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[CLICK]
Dialogue: 0,0:18:19.63,0:18:21.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, this is Miller Lite, take one!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:21.93,0:18:22.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[CLAP]
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.29,0:18:24.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[BLAKE:] Action!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:24.21,0:18:28.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Listen, woman! I don't wanna hear your whining or your excuses!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.63,0:18:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want you to tell me about your FEELINGS, because the only
Dialogue: 0,0:18:31.42,0:18:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FEELING you should be having is this
Dialogue: 0,0:18:33.00,0:18:35.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Long hard thing pouring delicious liquid in your face!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:36.63,0:18:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many of you women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:39.84,0:18:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,None!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:40.76,0:18:42.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can cook my steak in the dark!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:43.21,0:18:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Miller Lite! Drink it, bitch!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:48.63,0:18:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see? It speaks directly to women!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:51.84,0:18:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Amazing!\N-It's genius!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.42,0:18:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The female demographic will eat this up!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:57.00,0:18:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait! What did the focus group think?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:00.21,0:19:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So! What do you guys think?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.21,0:19:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Durrrrr, there's too much motion blur!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:04.63,0:19:05.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They LOVED it!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:05.84,0:19:07.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then so do we!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:17.34,0:19:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My ad campaign is better than your ad campaign!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:21.00,0:19:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-You haven't even SEEN mine!\N-I don't have to!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:25.00,0:19:28.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Could you NOT invade my personal space in the men's room?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:28.13,0:19:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The boss is gonna see for sure that you know NOTHING about advertising!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:32.55,0:19:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do you have to be such a massive DICK all the time?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:36.08,0:19:37.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To be ironic?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:37.21,0:19:39.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it gets results!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:39.63,0:19:41.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what they say, Edward.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:41.63,0:19:44.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nice guys finish last.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.92,0:19:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, that's why I can please a woman better than YOU can!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:52.84,0:19:53.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[SHARP BREATH]
Dialogue: 0,0:19:59.42,0:20:00.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[UNDOING BELT, UNZIPPING PANTS]
Dialogue: 0,0:20:02.63,0:20:04.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wha?! Mark Zuckerberg?!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:04.84,0:20:06.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-What the hell are you doing?\N-Hey, man, what's up?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:06.84,0:20:09.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-G-get out of here!\N-What, you got somethin' to hide?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:09.13,0:20:11.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm USING the TOILET!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:11.84,0:20:13.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nah, don't worry, man! It's cool, it's cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:13.42,0:20:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, everybody takes a shit, nothin' to be ashamed of.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:15.42,0:20:16.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wh-- g-- g-get out!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:16.42,0:20:17.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoa whoa whoa whoa, hold that pose!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:17.76,0:20:18.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[CAMERA SHUTTER]
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.84,0:20:21.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like this!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:27.42,0:20:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, I don't get that drunk! Alcohol just literally goes right through me!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:31.00,0:20:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[WAITRESS SCREAMS]
Dialogue: 0,0:20:33.00,0:20:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, how'd it all go with Miss Robo-Zombie-Accountant-Lady?\N[PHONE RINGS]
Dialogue: 0,0:20:36.63,0:20:40.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[EDDIE:] Not bad, actually.\N-[BLAKE:] Yeah, she pretty much came up with the whole idea herself.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:40.42,0:20:41.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Huh. Great¡
Dialogue: 0,0:20:42.21,0:20:44.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it was actually, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:20:44.42,0:20:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it was horribly offensive
Dialogue: 0,0:20:47.00,0:20:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm ashamed to have been associated with it
Dialogue: 0,0:20:49.63,0:20:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But from a creative standpoint, it was
Dialogue: 0,0:20:53.21,0:20:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pretty well thought out.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:55.00,0:20:57.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Psh. Yeah, right¡ From a fuckin' accountant¡
Dialogue: 0,0:20:57.42,0:20:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't let her fool ya. They're all just like Andrew.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:59.63,0:21:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I…thought so too.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:02.00,0:21:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But maybe not.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:04.21,0:21:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No. No way. Anybody who takes orders from Andy's got\N[PHONE BLEEPS]
Dialogue: 0,0:21:07.00,0:21:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nothin' inside of 'em. No fuckin' soul, no nothin' at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:10.21,0:21:12.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[EDDIE:] Well, you WERE working under him.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:12.42,0:21:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[KEVIN:] I didn't do SHIT for him! Anything he said to me, I was just like
Dialogue: 0,0:21:16.00,0:21:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[KEVIN:] Fuck you! No!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:17.00,0:21:18.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, that's mature¡
Dialogue: 0,0:21:18.63,0:21:20.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do you mean, "that's mature"?!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:20.42,0:21:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is Andy we're talkin' about. It's the only way to deal with 'im!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:23.63,0:21:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or perhaps…it's the only way you've tried.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:31.00,0:21:32.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,T--Tommy?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:32.84,0:21:34.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dude! What's up?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:34.26,0:21:38.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The thumbtack is still your brother, but he has forgotten that.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:38.42,0:21:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He wishes to fight you
Dialogue: 0,0:21:40.42,0:21:43.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you must remind him that you are all of the same blood.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:44.21,0:21:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are all human beings. And therefore
Dialogue: 0,0:21:47.63,0:21:50.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are all fightin' for the same thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:51.63,0:21:53.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tommy, this is Eddie.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:53.42,0:21:55.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The boss brought him in to replace y--
Dialogue: 0,0:21:56.21,0:21:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well--
Dialogue: 0,0:21:57.84,0:22:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not that ANYONE could replace you.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:01.04,0:22:02.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well met, brother Eddie.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:03.13,0:22:07.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I sense your strength, your resolve, and your compassion.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:07.84,0:22:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are powerful qualities.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:10.21,0:22:13.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your brothers and sister are lucky to have you.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:13.63,0:22:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,T-thank you, sir.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:16.63,0:22:21.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The thumbtack shall resent you and sabotage you, but do not fight him, brother.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:21.42,0:22:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Show him the way.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:23.21,0:22:26.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been tryin', Tommy. I've been tryin' for so long!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:26.63,0:22:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think it's possible!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:28.50,0:22:30.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You must take another path, brother Kevin.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:31.46,0:22:34.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Perhaps brother Eddie will show you the way as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:35.84,0:22:37.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:46.21,0:22:47.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:47.84,0:22:48.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:50.63,0:22:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry for being, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:22:53.63,0:22:57.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not so nice to you. For the past week.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:57.21,0:22:58.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't worry about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:58.63,0:23:00.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm really embarrassed.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:00.63,0:23:01.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's okay. Don't worry.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:02.00,0:23:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No. Look. I just--
Dialogue: 0,0:23:04.63,0:23:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:06.84,0:23:08.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:08.21,0:23:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't act like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:09.84,0:23:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most of the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:11.34,0:23:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I kinda walked in on you while you were bleedin' to death, honey.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:14.21,0:23:16.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't sweat it. We all have our bad days.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:16.21,0:23:17.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Weeks.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:17.84,0:23:18.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Weeks.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:20.00,0:23:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So…
Dialogue: 0,0:23:21.21,0:23:24.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What was it that made you want to, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:23:25.00,0:23:26.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Switch sides?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:26.84,0:23:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know that guy in our ad?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:29.13,0:23:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, let's just say he was inspired by a real person.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:32.63,0:23:33.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh!
Dialogue: 0,0:23:34.00,0:23:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:36.00,0:23:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I can see that. [LAUGHS]
Dialogue: 0,0:23:41.42,0:23:44.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, would you maybe want to, uh…
Dialogue: 0,0:23:45.84,0:23:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Play on our team a bit more?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:47.84,0:23:51.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was fun, but I gotta stick by my compatriots.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:51.21,0:23:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sort of the, uh, one-girl support group for everyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:54.00,0:23:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If that makes sense.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:56.63,0:23:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know EXACTLY what you mean.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:59.76,0:24:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, team! The results are in!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:02.00,0:24:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Team Edward made us…
Dialogue: 0,0:24:04.00,0:24:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nine hundred thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven dollars!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:07.21,0:24:09.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Team Andrew made us…
Dialogue: 0,0:24:09.42,0:24:12.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nine hundred thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven dollars!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:12.42,0:24:14.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a tie! Congratulations!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:14.42,0:24:15.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody wins!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:15.63,0:24:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait! What about how satisfied the clients were?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:19.21,0:24:20.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about what about WHAT now?!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:20.84,0:24:23.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The clients! Were they satisfied? Do they hate us?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:23.63,0:24:26.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are they gonna tell everybody that we suck and not to do business with us?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:27.21,0:24:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Huh. I…didn't ask.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:31.42,0:24:35.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Boss, that was the entire reason we were doing all of this!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:36.00,0:24:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:37.63,0:24:39.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll…
Dialogue: 0,0:24:40.00,0:24:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fuck.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:42.00,0:24:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who wants lunch?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:44.42,0:24:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, thanks for watching. We need your support to make more episodes of Your Face is a Saxophone
Dialogue: 0,0:24:49.00,0:24:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to keep them free of charge and free of ads
Dialogue: 0,0:24:50.84,0:24:53.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of these people you see in the credits gave a little bit of their time
Dialogue: 0,0:24:53.63,0:24:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or their money to make this episode possible, and you can be one of them too.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:57.00,0:25:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can help us prove that great TV shows don't need to shove commercials in your face to cover their costs.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:01.00,0:25:05.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't want to make a show to please our corporate sponsors, we want to make it for our fans. You guys.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:05.42,0:25:08.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So go to yfias.com/donate to become a producer of the show
Dialogue: 0,0:25:08.84,0:25:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or yfias.com/volunteer to see how else you can help
Dialogue: 0,0:25:11.21,0:25:13.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And follow us on Twitter: @Plankhead
Dialogue: 0,0:25:13.21,0:25:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or go to yfias.com and click "Get Email Updates"
Dialogue: 0,0:25:16.00,0:25:18.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To keep track of the show and see what's going on with it.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:18.21,0:25:21.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, thanks again. I'm Zacqary Adam Green, the creator of Your Face is a Saxophone
Dialogue: 0,0:25:21.63,0:25:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're awesome!