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("First of May" - Jonathan Coulton[br]Performed in Sign Language by Stephen Torrence, Kevin Saunders and Greg Briley)

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[Instrumental]

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I woke up this morning[br]MORNING I AWAKE

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I had a scone and a large house blend[br]SCONE EAT, COFFEE DRINK

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And then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends [br]SQUIRREL, CHIPMUNK FRIEND [ix-loc] CONVERSE

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I said I’m sick and tired of winter[br]I TELL-THEM WINTER SICK-OF-IT

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And I wish that it was spring [br]I WISH SPRING START SOON

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And then a little fellow named Robin Red Breast[br]BIRD ROBIN FLY-DOWN

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began to sing[br]START SING

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And he sang[br]HE SING

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Ooh ooh child, what’d you think [br][O-handshape] CHILD YOU THINK

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the cold winter’s gonna last forever?[br]WINTER CONTINUE?

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Ooh ooh child, now’s the time for all the people[br][O-handshape] NOW ALL PEOPLE MUST COME-

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to get together outside[br]TOGETHER OUTSIDE

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Cause it’s the first of May, first of May [br]NOW MAY 1ST, MAY 1ST

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Outdoor fucking starts today[br]FUCK++ OUTSIDE START TODAY

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So bring your favorite lady[br]BRING YOUR FAVORITE WOMAN

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Or at least your favorite lay[br]OR YOUR FAVORITE HOOKER

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The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe [br]WATER FINE, TOE DIP-IN

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Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto[br]MAYBE I SEE-[you] NAKED

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Grass below you, sky above[br]GRASS FLOOR, SKY

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Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called [br]CELEBRATE SPRING HOW?

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fucking outside[br]FUCK++ OUTSIDE

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I thanked him for the information[br]THANK-[him] FOR INFORM

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I cried a little when he flew away[br]HE FLY, I CRY

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I watched an episode of The People’s Court [br]I WATCH TV

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And I tried to plan my day[br]MY DAY TRY PLAN

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I called up my old lady[br]WIFE CALL-[her]

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She wasn’t home so I called my girl[br]NOT HOME, MY GIRL CALL-[her]

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I asked her if she’d like to join me as [br]I ASK-[her] IF SHE WANT TWO-OF-US

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Entertain the world[br]WORLD ENTERTAIN

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And I said[br]I SAY

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Ooh ooh child, I’ll bring a blanket and I promise[br][O-handshape] CHILD, BLANKET BRING,

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I will brush the ants off[br]ANTS I WIPE-OFF

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Ooh ooh child, you’re gonna like it [br][O-handshape]

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when we’re taking each other’s pants off outside[br]PANTS++ REMOVE, YOU ENJOY OUTSIDE

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Cause it’s the first of May, first of May[br]NOW MAY 1ST, MAY 1ST

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Outdoor fucking starts today[br]FUCK++ OUTSIDE START TODAY

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So bring your favorite lady[br]BRING YOUR FAVORITE WOMAN

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Or at least your favorite lay[br]OR YOUR FAVORITE HOOKER

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The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe [br]WATER FINE, TOE DIP-IN

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Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto[br]MAYBE I SEE-[you] NAKED

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Grass below you, sky above[br]GRASS FLOOR, SKY

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Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called[br]CELEBRATE SPRING HOW?

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fucking outside[br]FUCK++ OUTSIDE

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So we went to the park together[br]TWO-OF-US GO-TO PARK

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We were walking in the midday sun[br]NOON WALKING

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We met all kinds of people and we [br]MEET+++

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We fucked everyone[br]FUCK+++

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We fucked a lady who sells ice cream[br]WOMAN ICE CREAM VENDOR, FUCK-[her]

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We fucked a man with a tan Shar Pei[br]MAN WITH DOG TAN, FUCK-[him]

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Everyone who needed fucking well they[br]ALL PEOPLE NEED SEX

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They got fucked today[br]THEY FUCK+++

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So come on[br]COME

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Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart,[br][O-handshape] CHILD MIND, HEART OPEN++,

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feel the spirit moving through you[br]FEEL HEAT [all-over]

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Ooh ooh child, you’ll feel the warmth of the love [O-handshape][br]CHILD YOU FEEL LOVE

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when I stick it to you outside[br]WHEN I FUCK-[you] OUTSIDE

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Cause it’s the first of May, first of May[br]NOW MAY 1ST, MAY 1ST

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Outdoor fucking starts today[br]FUCK++ OUTSIDE START TODAY

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So bring your favorite lady[br]BRING YOUR FAVORITE WOMAN

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Or at least your favorite lay[br]OR YOUR FAVORITE HOOKER

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The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe[br]WATER FINE, TOE DIP-IN

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Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto[br]MAYBE I SEE-[you] NAKED

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Grass below you, sky above[br]GRASS FLOOR, SKY

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Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called[br]CELEBRATE SPRING HOW?

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Fucking outside[br]FUCK++ OUTSIDE

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Fucking outside[br]FUCK++ OUTSIDE

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Fucking outside[br]FUCK++ OUTSIDE

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WHAT THE FUCK?!?

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(left) Sorry, Dad / (right) Sorry, Mom[br]SORRY, DAD / SORRY, MOM

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(Thanks for watching!)

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(Check out[br]BadPhilosophy.com)

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(And join my channel[br]to see more ASL songs!)