Pandora picks Aaliyah
and this song takes me back
to what now seems like youth
into Saturn return
and you
and that crappy old car radio
with the broken cassette
and all that washboard
and all that open space
and all that dust
kicking up into our skin
into that tiny mountain cabin
with the candles burning hot
we would fuck
like the earth was opening
and then primp for the bar
in the flickering light
while the radio crackled and hissed pop songs
we drove steep dirt roads
into the night
you kept a baseball bat behind your seat
you held my hips while I danced
this song takes me back
to this need-heavy
old as the hills
butch femme lust
revenge
and desire
and that old truck
that broke your arm
you kept a rag stuffed in the hole where the gas cap should've been
you had to hit the starter with a metal pipe
to get it to turn over
god, I loved watching you pop that hood
climb in there
and beat that engine
it made me wanna turn you over
and take you back
you pulled femme shine from my stone
like brilliant choya flowers from Santa Fe sun
like prayer under my breath
I still ask for your forgiveness
for my own anger
made by breaking
drove our screeching
how much I've learned from us
how much I've changed
how together we were
fume and flame
combustion
but we also climbed into the woods
and sat in wild silence
we watched spiders spin webs
and we laughed at birdsong
but you, like Aaliyah, are gone now
you're just fuming memories
and flaming spirit
kickin' up dust once in a while
when music takes me unawares
and turns me over
and takes me back
like Saturn
returning
to you.
[applause]