[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.64,0:00:12.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the mid '90s. Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis were the two big competitors.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.14,0:00:17.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 16-bit era was coming to an end, while the next generation consoles were on their way.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.30,0:00:22.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Sega Saturn, the PlayStation, and the Nintendo 64 were ready to hit the scene.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.31,0:00:28.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The graphics were getting better, and video game companies were racing their technology to a never-ending finish line.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.11,0:00:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,During the ongoing delay of the Nintendo 64, Nintendo announced a new product to fill the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.62,0:00:40.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and continue their successful line of portable game systems, beginning with the Game & Watch games and the Game Boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.49,0:00:45.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The product, originally dubbed "VR32", would become known as the Virtual Boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.62,0:00:53.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It made use of 3D technology, where each eye would see two separate screens and create the illusion of three-dimensional depth.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.20,0:01:00.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Virtual reality seemed like the way of the future. Just the idea of feeling like you were in the game was an awesome concept.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.89,0:01:05.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But instead, it turned out to be the grand motherlode of shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.91,0:01:11.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first problem was that it was marketed as a portable system.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.76,0:01:14.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, portable! My ass is portable!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.38,0:01:18.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could barely find a comfortable way to play this big, red, ugly piece of shit at home,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.46,0:01:22.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let alone bring it somewhere! Like, you couldn't play it in a car or something like that!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.65,0:01:28.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And...come to think of it, you wouldn't want to play this thing in public anyway! You'd look like an asshole!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.36,0:02:01.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why isn't there a head strap? Let's think about this.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.58,0:02:08.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This must be one of the worst designs for any invention in history! It's basically a pair of goggles on a stand!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.72,0:02:12.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To me, that translates to a pair of eyeballs on legs.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.64,0:02:17.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The controller's really weird, too. It has two D-pads and the battery pack is attached to it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.95,0:02:24.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can swap it with an AC adapter, but when you're playing on a table, it can come loose and shut off your game!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.09,0:02:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 3D effects are hard to focus and they strain your eyes. There was even a warning on the box that said it could cause headaches and seizures.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.87,0:02:35.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's great, right? That's like the cherry on the shit sundae!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.19,0:02:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How would you like to play bad games and have a headache, too?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.90,0:02:42.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, before I say the games are bad, let's take an honest look.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.92,0:02:50.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately, the only way I can record these games is to zoom into the eyepiece. So, please excuse the guerrilla-style videography.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.96,0:02:58.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's begin with Mario's Tennis. This was one of the first Virtual Boy games to be released and it's usually the first one that most people have played.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.15,0:03:01.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It starts out with Mario hitting a tennis ball right into your face.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.78,0:03:08.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 3D effect is actually pretty effective. But without experiencing the actual game, you can't see it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.01,0:03:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the main thing that disappointed everybody right from the beginning was the fact that the games were all in red and black.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.84,0:03:19.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the original Game Boy was in black and white, or black and greenish-yellow, whatever.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.54,0:03:26.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the Virtual Boy was supposed to be cutting-edge, so, it was fair to expect it to be in color. What a letdown.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.56,0:03:31.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, as for the game itself, it's just tennis, but with a selection of Mario characters.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.58,0:03:39.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not bad, but nothing special. The big problem for me, personally, what the hell kind of virtual reality game is this?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.20,0:03:44.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't feel like I'm on the court interacting. I would have expected this to be in a first-person perspective.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.88,0:03:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole idea of virtual reality is to simulate the experience of the game like you're actually in the environment.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.84,0:03:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's supposed to feel like reality, hence the term, "virtual reality".
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.84,0:04:03.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's another one, Galactic Pinball. Well, it's just a pinball game with a space theme.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.56,0:04:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 3D effects are pretty shallow on this one. Nothing ever really comes up in your face.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.62,0:04:11.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To use the paddles, you hit the buttons on the bottom of the controller,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.72,0:04:17.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which feels like using a real pinball machine, but you expect to be able hit the button harder to hit the ball harder.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.40,0:04:23.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, in the long run, it just makes you wish you were playing a real pinball machine instead, or, anything other than this!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.50,0:04:25.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel like I'm taking an eye exam!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.94,0:04:28.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And speaking of that, my eyes are starting to hurt already.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.96,0:04:33.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you play this long enough and go blind, you can really become the pinball wizard.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.47,0:04:38.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, now we have Teleroboxer. Kinda like Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.14,0:04:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And holy shit, it's a first-person perspective! This is a little more like virtual reality!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.86,0:04:47.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The gameplay is pretty much the same as Punch-Out!. You can punch to the face,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.21,0:04:51.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,punch to the body, hook, upper cut, duck, dodge, and you can make use of both D-pads,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.85,0:04:57.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which individually control each arm, so you can block with one arm and punch with the other at the same time.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.29,0:05:01.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not bad, and the 3D effects are cool, especially when your opponent knocks you out.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.23,0:05:10.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next up, Red Alarm. Well, "Red" is right. All the games should have had "Red" in the title.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.88,0:05:16.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's basically a flying game, like Star Fox. Remember what the graphics looked like on Star Fox?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.52,0:05:22.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything was a polygon. But imagine that in red and black without any rendered shapes whatsoever.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.78,0:05:29.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything's just a wire frame. It looks like a game that hasn't been finished. Worst of all, it's disorienting!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.28,0:05:33.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If only there were some kind of texture, you'd be able to see where the boundaries are.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.38,0:05:38.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But without it, you're just flying around with a bunch of lines! Often, I think I'm flying into an opening,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.68,0:05:43.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but then I just find I'm butting against a wall! Look at this! Where am I supposed to go?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.21,0:05:50.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One thing that's cool is that you can switch camera angles. I choose the POV because, after all,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.70,0:05:59.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't this supposed to be virtual reality? Unfortunately, Red Alarm and Teleroboxer are the only two Virtual Boy games to have this feature.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.16,0:06:06.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next up is Wario Land. You take control of Wario with one basic goal: reach the end of each level.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.92,0:06:11.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Along the way, you gotta find keys to open doors, collect treasures, and fight enemies.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.67,0:06:14.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You stomp on them, throw them, or dash into 'em.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.01,0:06:19.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's also parts where you can leap into the background, obviously trying to cater to the 3D gimmick.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.37,0:06:26.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's actually a good game. Damn good. But, only one problem: it's on Virtual Boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.49,0:06:30.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, we have Panic Bomber. It's a puzzle game and a decent one, I might add.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.63,0:06:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically, things fall down and you gotta match three of a kind in a row, in a column, or diagonal.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.89,0:06:42.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The matched pieces disappear and you get bombs. When a lit bomb falls, you can use it to blow up the other bombs.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.18,0:06:48.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I have one question. Why in the holy mother of fuck does this need to be on Virtual Boy?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.45,0:06:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a puzzle game! This is the kind of thing that belongs on Game Boy!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.56,0:06:58.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not only is there nothing remotely 3D or virtual reality-based, you can only play it alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.77,0:07:02.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aren't puzzle games most fun when you have friends to play with?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.60,0:07:06.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, Virtual Boy actually had an extension port for a multiplayer cable.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.99,0:07:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It would have been used to link two Virtual Boys, much like the Game Boy did.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.94,0:07:15.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the only problem, they never released the cable or made any games that supported it,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.83,0:07:21.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the Virtual Boy sucked so hard, it was retired before such a thing could be released!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.68,0:07:26.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, we're up to Mario Clash. Every Nintendo console had its own definitive Mario title.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.97,0:07:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this, you would hope, would be decent.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.02,0:07:34.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what you get is basically a remake of the original 1983 Mario Bros. arcade.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.59,0:07:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each level is just one screen, and the goal is to knock out all the enemies,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.66,0:07:42.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except for the Koopas, you stomp on them and use their shells to throw at the other enemies.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.75,0:07:47.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of the enemies, like the ones with the three spikes on their back, have to be killed from a distance.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.57,0:07:51.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, it's basically Mario Bros. with a background and foreground.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.38,0:07:56.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What bothers me about this game is just one simple problem. They swapped the buttons!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.48,0:08:02.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,B is jump and A throws shells! How did they fuck up the controls for a Mario game?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.55,0:08:08.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why change what we grew up with? Why change what's been firmly planted in our brains since childhood?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.95,0:08:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's also a bonus stage, and look what we have here: texture! It's nice to see a floor that's fully rendered for once.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.72,0:08:21.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Overall, Mario Clash isn't bad, but it's repetitive. And it goes on for 99 levels,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.34,0:08:28.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,probably making it the longest Virtual Boy game. And since it causes eye strain, it shouldn't be finished in one sitting.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.72,0:08:34.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, Nester's Funky Bowling. Any subscriber to Nintendo Power knows who Nester is,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.07,0:08:40.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this is probably the only game he's ever been in. All I can say is it's bowling. That's what it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.70,0:08:47.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I don't know what's so funky about it. It's just an average bowling game with the same ten pins over and over.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.38,0:08:53.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The animation on Nester's reactions is pretty fun to watch, but other than that, there's not much to say.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.57,0:08:56.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, next is Virtual League Baseball.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.12,0:09:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You bat, you run, you pitch, you catch, you run, you throw, it's baseball.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.78,0:09:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The music is pretty cool, and you get a nice 3D effect when it shows the field,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.02,0:09:09.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kinda like you're sitting in the seats, almost like a (ahem) virtual reality feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.54,0:09:12.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When it comes to batting, the hit detection is kinda awkward,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.83,0:09:16.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when you're in the outfield, it's like you need a microscope to see the players.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.55,0:09:24.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's such a strange sensation to be controlling sprites the size of ants, kinda like North & South on NES.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.37,0:09:32.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, let's do Vertical Force. This one is a 2D shooter, kinda like Galaga, 1942, or R-Type.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.05,0:09:37.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a genre that's classic. As classic as a good old TV screen.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.20,0:09:43.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only 3D part is that you can switch between two different altitudes, so it's kinda like 2D-3D.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.69,0:09:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes, you gotta fly up or down to avoid obstacles. But most of the time, you can just stay where you are.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.52,0:09:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 3D effect isn't even that deep anyway. This is another perfect example of a game that doesn't need to be on Virtual Boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.53,0:10:04.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next is...Golf. That's it, just golf. Of all the games with this title, I'd stick to Golf on NES.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.09,0:10:12.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You pick your club, you line up your shots, and that's about it. Just the idea of playing an 18-hole course on this makes me sick.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.20,0:10:17.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The graphics are decent, but they beg to be in green and black rather than red and black.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.97,0:10:25.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it would be nice if it was in color, but let me tell you, if there's one color that I imagine when it comes to golf, it's fucking anything but red!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.94,0:10:31.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, we have 3D Tetris. Now, anyone who's familiar with Tetris will immediately understand the concept.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.76,0:10:37.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Blocks fall down and you have to put them together without leaving gaps. Any time you fill a whole row, they disappear.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.80,0:10:44.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the only difference is that it's in 3D, but that means it moves along a lot slower because there's a lot more space to fill.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.32,0:10:51.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The A and B buttons turn the blocks around in the second dimension, while the right D-pad flips them in the third dimension.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.07,0:10:55.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The left D-pad moves the pieces around to where you want to drop them, and it works quite well.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.15,0:11:02.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,3D Tetris and Teleroboxer are the only two Virtual Boy games that use both D-pads to do something different.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.87,0:11:08.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Until the blocks drop down, they're transparent and they have little shadows to help you tell where they're gonna land.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.48,0:11:16.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, the layout keeps moving, so they basically tried everything they could so that you won't get confused, but still, it's a little hard to tell what you're doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.95,0:11:23.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 3D aspect isn't even very unique. They could have made a game like this on just about any other console at the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.34,0:11:27.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While the Virtual Boy does place parts of the graphics in front of other parts,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.51,0:11:34.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the blocks here are just two-dimensional shapes drawn to give the feeling of the third dimension without actually doing so.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.14,0:11:41.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like if I just draw on a piece of paper. There, that's 3D. I'd say just stick to regular Tetris.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.36,0:11:51.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well now, we saved the worst for last. It's Waterworld. Now, let's just stop for a moment and take this in, okay? (deep breath)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.90,0:11:55.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Waterworld...on...Virtual Boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.11,0:11:59.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like puking on a pile of shit!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.80,0:12:04.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright. Here we go. Ocean presents Waterworld. How ironic.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.59,0:12:08.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, as far as the graphics go, too bad they couldn't use the color blue.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.87,0:12:12.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, they had two choices for the water. It could have been red or black.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.81,0:12:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, at least they chose black because if it was red, we'd be calling it "Bloodworld". Either way, it looks like shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.40,0:12:25.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The object of the game is just to shoot everybody and rescue the people. It's basically a remake of Defender.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.02,0:12:30.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's not really any goal, other than getting a high score, which really helps, since it doesn't save any data.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.44,0:12:34.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's actually a 9-player mode, which I honestly find hard to believe.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.59,0:12:42.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Could you imagine passing the Virtual Boy around a room to eight other people? I'd rather drink Kevin Costner's recycled piss water.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.79,0:12:48.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Waterworld is the only movie-based game on Virtual Boy, and doesn't it seem like a match made in heaven?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.14,0:12:58.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a perfect analogy: an over-budget, over-hyped movie turned into a game on a gimmicky, over-priced anal atom bomb of a console exploding with diarrhea!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.70,0:13:04.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, that's it. The Virtual Boy was such a flop, it died in less than a year.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.82,0:13:12.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, now I didn't pick these games - this is all of them. I just reviewed every Virtual Boy game to be released in North America.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.08,0:13:17.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right. I am holding the entire library of games for this piece of shit in my one hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.67,0:13:23.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the exception of Jack Bros., with is rare, expensive, and probably not worth jack shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.87,0:13:28.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's time for an update, because now, I have Jack Bros., thank you very much!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.81,0:13:35.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like I talk about shit, and somebody sends me shit. So, let's give it a look and make this whole episode complete.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.73,0:13:42.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jack Bros., here we go. It's in Japanese, and since this game's story-based, I'm not gonna be able to read any of the text.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.96,0:13:49.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the story doesn't concern us, we wanna know how it plays. You get a choice of three characters who look like Halloween mascots.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.82,0:13:55.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jack Frost, Jack Lantern, and a skeleton named Jack the Ripper. He's the coolest character,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.72,0:14:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but his attack is just a sword, while the rest of the characters can shoot projectiles.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.64,0:14:04.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's real deceiving! It's almost like they planned it that way.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.21,0:14:09.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously you're gonna pick the fuckin' skeleton, but they give him the shittiest weapon!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.12,0:14:16.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it plays like a typical overhead view, where you have to fight monsters, collect keys, and find an exit before time runs out.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.15,0:14:22.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instantly, it reminds me of Gauntlet. And that's not a bad thing. For such a rare game, it's not half-bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.90,0:14:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it doesn't utilize the Virtual Boy in any unique way. It goes 3D a little when you drop to a lower platform,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.46,0:14:38.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but overall it just comes down to the same thing. This should've been on Game Boy. This has nothing to do with virtual reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.03,0:14:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't feel like I'm there! They didn't even try to make it virtual! Instead, they were just jackin' off!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.00,0:14:47.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that takes care of the whole Virtual Boy catalog.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.98,0:14:54.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, to be fair, most of the games were okay, but they're the same kind of games you might as well be playing on a regular TV screen.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.38,0:15:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, they tried to take advantage of some 3D elements, but this wasn't called "3D Boy", it was called "Virtual Boy"!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.82,0:15:08.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't even attempt, they didn't even attempt a virtual reality concept.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:08.06,0:15:13.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What it needed was some first-person shooter games. Like Doom. That would've been awesome!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:13.76,0:15:17.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, it's been about ten years, the technology's gotten better,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.53,0:15:24.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but nobody really gives a shit about virtual reality anymore. And maybe, that's for the best.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.06,0:15:26.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[explosion]