HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
Happy Holiday!
Happily Holiday!
We're a good 6 weeks deep now
into the telling everybody to have a happy holiday season,
and the closer we get to the end of that season,
the more urgent the need becomes
to tell everyone everywhere
to have a happy holiday.
Even though at this point in the year
that's probably the least useful thing you could say
to anybody.
Pretty much anyone you run into this week,
you can be confident they already know there's a holiday taking place,
and that they're expected to be happy when this occurs.
So instead of me telling you to have a happy holiday
for the fortyleventhmilliontheighthundredmillionth time,
I'd rather take a minute to acknowledge
everyone out there who's not having a happy holiday.
Everyone who can't be with the family that they love,
everyone who has to be with the family that they hate,
everyone who can't afford to express their love
through the season's mandatory rituals of crass consumerism.
I see you,
I know that you're out there.
I know that this is the most stressful,
most depressing, most unhappiest time of year
for millions of people.
And I know that if you're one of those people who's already unhappy,
and then you gotta spend 6 weeks having everyone else come up to you like
"Hey! Have a happy holiday!"
"I hope you're having a happy one!"
"Don't you go wearing a frown!"
"What are you? Some kind of Scrooge? Is something wrong with you?!
Society demands that you be happy!!!"
If I'm one of those people who's already unhappy,
that is not helpful.
That makes it worse.
If I'm not having a happy holiday,
it isn't because I forgot to do it.
I don't need you to remind me.
I'm already accutely aware of my failure to be happy.
And well, let me just pause for a minute and say
I'm not mad at people who say "happy holidays".
I say it, we all have good intentions when we say it.
But I also know that for a whole lot of people
this holiday season is like a little box
that you know everyone's supposed to fit into,
and you wish that you could fit into the box too,
but you just can't fit in the box.
And when you can't fit in that box,
it makes you feel like the whole purpose of this holiday season
is to remind you that there's something wrong with you.
So I just wanna say to everyone out there:
No matter how you spend this holiday,
there's nothing wrong with you doing that.
And give a little love to both sides of that holiday divide.
For everyone out there who is able to have a happy holiday,
good for you!
I'm sure you're already on top of it.
Keep up the good work.
And to everyone else out there
who's not fitting into that happy holiday box,
I especially want to send this out to you,
and let you know I see you,
there's lots of people right there with you,
I've been there,
and you're not alone.
Basically I just want to say that wherever you are,
whoever you're with,
whatever your circumstances,
happy holidays!
are optional.
If you're into that kind of thing.